Sex & The Seafront!

Mucking Fuddled!

2007-10-06T08:33:00.000+01:00

Sometimes life is all straight forward with hardly a kink and then at other times it's a right old mucking fuddling puddle of tangledness! I've just finished work and feel about as normal as a washing machine in the desert, my mind is pretty much mush ( some of you maybe thinking, nothings different!) I've been kinda bitchy to my mate David tonight, but it wasn't my fault, he needed it, and it's because he barged his way into Gabriells dressing room the night before last and I always blame him a little bit of the god awful state I was in after our drunken night on the town!

Everything seems to be confusing me at the moment, first there is a new film about the life and times of Bob Dylan that's been approved, but there are six people going to be playing the music man. Richard Gere, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Ben Whislaw, and young black actor Marcus Carl Franklin in his movie debut all play the great man, the sixth person in the film to be Bob is.....Cate Blanchett! Yep, confusing!

Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, yeah that young soak, has checked out of a rehab clinic in Utah where she went in August following charges of drunken driving and cocaine possession, because she says she doesn't have a problem! Yeah right!

Nearly 300 participants started twisting and turning a small multicoloured cube on Friday on the first day of the Rubik's Cube World Championships in Budapest, the birthplace of the cult puzzle. Hello, the Rubik Cube? Have we gone back in time? Didn't we have that in the 80's? Is it back? I've not seen one in peoples hands since, well since I was at school, surely we're not back in the 1980's again, surely I've not slipped back to those heady days when the only thing I had to worry about was beating Marcus 'Fingers' Totting in matching the six colours on the six sides! Well that and not getting caught behind the groundsman's shed having a crafty fag with Gary or a sly five knuckle shuffle in the art store room with Jon! Actually come to think about it, perhaps it would be nice to be back in those days again! But, I'm not going back to having blisters on my thumbs from twisting that poxy cube for anyone!

It's not quite "Jurassic Park", but Swiss archaeologists were in a state of high alarm yesterday after thieves stole traces of a dinosaur footprint from an excavation site! Yep, apparently they just waltzed in and whipped away the footprint said to be 152 million years old. But the experts say that if it comes up for sale they will know about it! Yeah no shit Sherlock! I mean how often do you see a sale for something that old?

A Texas woman has escaped being charged with 'negligent homicide' (only in America!) after she killed her husband with a sherry enema. Tammy Jean Warner was due to go on trial last week but she's been let off due to the lack of evidence! But why on earth would you shove sherry up the arse?

A thief has stolen a cardboard cut-out of a policeman which was put in a store to deter shoplifters! Yeah honestly it's true, Derbyshire Police said a man had been seen on CCTV walking with the picture under his arm from a shop in Grasmere. The cut-outs were first introduced in shops in the area in 2005 in the hope that, at a glance, thieves would think the image was a real officer. But if that was the case, then why did the publicise it, with photo's clearly showing it was a cardboard cut out?

Some of you know that I like my cycling, you'd think that having an accident where I broke my back, coccyx's and knee would have put me off, but no, I think it's great to get out on my two wheels and peddle around, especially in Brighton that has lots and lots of cycle lanes. However some, are perhaps a little ermm short, or as David would say, 'neither use nor ornament' Here's a couple of pics to indicate what I'm on about!

About as much use as a choclate tea pot me thinks! But at least we don't live in South Africa, for down there it seem's the line painter was a little drunk when he returnd to work in the afternoon!

That's ya lot for today!

Drunken explorations!

2007-10-04T18:45:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure who I blame, whether it's our Rachael or perhaps our David, or maybe even me! I arranged to Meet up with David on Tuesday and then by the fickle finger of fate we happened to bump up into little Rachael, so then we popped off for a beverage. Well, one beverage turned into two, which in turn turned into three, and then four and then oh my god it's morning!

Yes, the three of us started out little escapade in red painting of the town in St James, a pub on St James Street, which as thats where we were seemed like a good starting point. Then after that we headed off to The Amsterdam, after sitting on the terrace for a couple it was on to Charles Street and then we twinkled round to VaVoom. Now I dont know how this happened, or why, but after that we went in to Revenge and I tried to pull a student young enough to be my son and then I danced like my dad! Oh how embaracing it was, we;; actually it would have been if the alcohole had not softened my memories of such events.

After clubbing in Revenge, we trapsed up to Legends, which is usually my start and ending venue on any night out. It was great fun being out with David and Rachael, letteing our collective hair down, slagging off the world and enjoying the simple act of being British and perhaps over indluging! Rachael is great fin to be with, so full of life, and energy and she'll talk to anyone that one! Yep, in VaVoom she talked to a cute curly haired student, and when we got back to Legends she found a table and talked to a group of trannys! I cant believe it, so we chatted away like a house on fire to these three ladies, who had rcenetly come back from a competition at The Old Ship Hotel. Now one of the ladies was 73, I was shocked, surprised and my ghast never quite so flabbered! Look good for her age she did, and they sure knew how to have a good time. I'm not saying who is who or which one is 73, just the one in the middle without the wig is David!

God, I'm not sure how much was drunk but my wallet was empty when we returned to my place, when and where Rach me and David played on the internet for a while till time for bed it was. Our own seperate beds in our own seperate places of course!

When I woke yesterday, I wish I hadn't! My head spun, my stomach churned, my body ached and a few moments later my bladder emptied and my bowels exploded. It was the mother of all hangovers, never ever have I felt that bad after a single night out, and never ever ever again am I drinking. I could hardly move, so most of the day I stayed put on the sofa, with the occasional walk for more water to flush the evil poison from my system.

I would hjave stayed on the sofa for the rest of my life had little Jake not forced me out and demanded I suffer the indignity of downing a couple of pints in Amsterdam, the bar not the country. Thank god it was only for a couple and then the little student treated me to a bag of chips on the pier! I know, how touristy, how common, how just perfect! We nattered about this, that, life, universe, number 42, love and pretty much everthing as the wind and dampness blustered at out faces and bodies. Oh the wonder of living by the sea.

Eleswhere in the real world, the inquest into the death of Dodi and Princess Diana has begun in London and the jury have been shown new pictures and CCTV footage of the couple as they leave The Ritz in Paris on that last night of their lives. I'm not sure about any of the conspircy theories that have been banded about since that sad day, but I sincely hope this inquest will answer some of the questions still hanging in the air and put to rest all the stories, gossip and romours. Hopefully, when this inquest has been completely, we'll be able to say for syure what really happened and for all our sakes, especially Harry and William, we'll be able to let her rest in peace!

Fifty years ago a team of Russian scientists had worked long and hard on the first man made object to end up in space, it was ' Sputnik' and was the first of it's kind to take to the region of space. It's amazing how far we have come in thsoe fifty years. The technological advances are sumpremely impressive, we've come a long long way, sadly they still dont have a cure for the common cold, but hey we know who to send things up in to space!

I've had some fab comments over the past couple of weeks, so thanks for that guys, do keep them coming in, I always like to hear what you think or have to say about what I've written, although the previous long comment has no relation to anything I've put on the blog, but it must have taken ages to write! Anyway, got something to say> Say it and comment now!

House DVD of series 3 comes out over here toward the end of the month and I'm so blooming glad about that. Regular readers will know I'm a big House fan, HL is simply great and Jesse Spencer is a dream to watch. Oh that sweet Australian voice, I could paper my walks with that voice, not to mention drift away staring into those eyes....gosh I'm almost getting carried away into fantasy land!. Anyway, the point being.....actually I've forgotton the point of starting this take on House so anyway, the DVD comes out the end of the month and whoopee! Fab, fancy buying it for me> Oh and having mentioned Jesse so much, seems to me a good reason to put on a pic of him! Ahh well then there was a point to my babbling!

Right, here we go, that is the end of it for today! More soon! .

The spice of life!

2007-10-01T21:11:00.000+01:00

Wow, a whole four nights at work have passed by so very slowly,, two nights of boredom and two nights of semi boredom! It;s not been the busiest of weeks at work, which is good in one way in that we can relax a little, but in another way, it seems like each passing hour is 120 minutes long!

While I've either been working, or sleeping the world has carried on revolving, and democracy in Burma has been defeated yet again. The military crackdown in Burma is a reminder that street demonstrations and protests do not necessarily lead to success for the people. The military leaders in Burma have seen that the popular uprisings for a more democratic way of life have been squashed, well at least for the time being. Some say China was partly responsible, the crackdown was like something from a Chinese handbook on how to halt protests. About 4,000 monks have been rounded up in the past week as the military government has tried to stamp out pro-democracy protests, lead mainly by these compassionate people. The monks are being held at a disused race course and a technical college. Sources from a government-sponsored militia said they would soon be moved away from Rangoon. The monks have been disrobed and shackled, it's believed they will be moved away from the public spotlight, where they will either be forced into hard labour or executed. These demonstrations and protests have been the most serious challenge to the military leadership for more than two decades. And what have we done? Well the rest of the world has stood back and watched, occasionally our leaders, have uttered words akin to 'Oh that's bad, you shouldn't do that' but that was about as far as it went. Oh how easy is it to be complacent, how easy is it to do nothing?

Today has been a relaxing day for me, however not the same for other of my work colleagues, David had a bit of a 'Spice' Meltdown! Now, our David, is a bit of a 'Spice Girls' fan to say the least. I mean he once had to be dragged away by security one time when he refused to let go of Mel C! Anyhow, he got an email saying he was one of the lucky ones and was able to get tickets for the upcoming tour. He had internet problems and this and that transpired against him, but he's got some, he thinks. But, the world of the Spice doesn't stop turning there, oh no, after talking to David, I turned on my PC, checked my messages, I too got the Spice email and now, I'm the proud owner of 4 Spice Girls tickets for one of their shows at the O2 arena in London in January! They are £80 a pop and I don't even like the Spice Girls! Mind you, I'm kinda looking forward to going to the O2 arena, it's what was the Millennium Dome and I haven't been back there since the millennium, so it will be cool to see how much it's changed! So Spice Up Ya World! It was rater strange, in the media it was reported the reunion concerts sold out in 38 seconds, but they went on sale at 9am and I purchased mine just after 6pm! But hey, even if I don't go, I can always flog the tickets, apparently there are currently on sale on eBay for near on £900 each! Now that's one hell of a profit!

Have you every seen that TV prog called Made on MTV and other channels? It's all about these normal American kids who want to do something else, or become something else. There was this young lad, who was a little nerdy and wanted to become a B-boy and brakedance, the main reason was so he could get confidence and pull girls. Another in the series featured a girl who wanted to become a bike racer, so they worked hard on her cycling, the reason, she wanted to get a guy. So far all the Made's I've seen feature young high school students, who want to do something different in order to become more popular, turning their back on their true friends during the process, it's so shallow. Is this what are young people, our decision makers for the future become, completely selfish and shallow? Is there hope for a world, does every generation hate the one before and fear for the future of the next one? Ya never know, maybe they will make a Made, where someone wants to do something positive, for the benefit of others rather than themselves! Maybe, it could happen, but I doubt it!

So that so called singer Britney Spears has been ordered by the courts to hand over her two young children to her former husband Kevin Federline of K-Fed! He's been given custody of Sean Preston whose just two and one-year-old Jayden James, until further notice. Thank goodness for that, at least now Britney can completely self destruct without the children being harmed or put in mortal danger. I mean, if they were still living with her, she might start singing to them which is dangerous enough and that's surely reason to take the poor little buggers away!

52 two years ago, the Hollywood film star James Dean was killed in a road accident in California, USA. The 24-year-old actor was behind the wheel of his German-made Porsche Spider sports car when it was involved in a head-on collision with another car 30 miles east of Paso Robles on 30 September 1955. Dean, who was dead on arrival at hospital had suffered a broken neck along with other injuries had only recently filmed a safety film in which he urged drivers to slow down and not drive too fast and he'd only finished working on his third and last film Giant, the day before the accident. James, only made three films, East Of Eden, Rebel Without A Cause and Giant, the latter two not having been released at the time, yet within a year of his death nearly four million people had joined his fan club and his studio was receiving around 4,000 letters every day. Even now, his posters, photos and the very image of rebellious youth continues to make £100 million every year. Of course, like any cult hero, there have been conspiracy theories and rumours, one of which began shortly after his death that he was not actually killed in the car crash but was hideously deformed and is still alive in a Californian hospital. If that is the case, it has to be the best kept secret this world has ever known!

That's it for now!

Affimation - Kids today

2007-09-30T03:51:00.000+01:00

If I was to say to you, that, I believe the sun should never set upon anargument and if I were to add, I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem you'd probably think I'm a very thoughtful, introspective person.

Then if I told you I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned and that I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side and finished off by informing you I believe you don't know what you've got untilyou say goodbye, you'd probably be starting to wonder if I've suddenly becomebe a very contemplative intellectual, but you'd be wrong, all I'm doing is singing the lines of the Savage Garden song Affirmation!

This track still sounds as fresh to me as when I first heard it on the album a few years ago, its lyrics make still have the power to move and evoke true appreciation for the sentiment, created by Darren Hayes. Each time the line's swirl out into the ether I sagely smile and think to myself "how true that is" Such lines as I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem are sosincere, yet we hardly ever think of that when we are flicking through the latest glossy and wish we looked like the slim sexy model. We aspire to the ideal yet are disappointed when we don't quite measure up. And how true is the emotion in 'I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned? And, I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye? I find it slightly ironic and rather sad that we, as humans, quite often don't really appreciate what we've got, until we don't have it anymore, be it possessions or people. If only we knew what we have when we have it, surely we'd take more care of it, treasure it and look after it with every inch of our fiber. I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality, sings our Darren Hayes breathlessly, I always used to say, and you fall in love with a person and not sexuality. And if you could choose sexuality, would any sane person choose one that's guaranteed to cause you to endure prejudice, discrimination, verbal and sometime physical abuse on an almost daily basis? It's also rather a pity that in those aforementioned glossy magazines they don't subscribe to the view that your most attractive features are your heart and soul? Life is unfair in that respect, why is it always harder to look passed the physical to the inner beauty than the other way round? How can it be that we can say so much without words and yet transversally we can talk for hours without saying anything at all?

Gosh, I think you can really appreciate what a slow night at work I've justs urvived! Anyway, here's the song:

Police in Hampshire are investigating allegations mobile phone footage of a "happy slapping" attack on a 14-year-old pupil was shown in his school classroom, by a teacher! Josh Wootton was attacked by eight youths near the Brune Park Community College in Gosport on 18th September. The boy's mother said the group filmed the attack and were allowed to play the video on a large screen in a lesson. The school said it was shown after the class finished by a teacher who was trying to identify those involved. But the first Josh or his family knew anything about it was when two girls in his class called round and told them. Kid's today, little darlings aint they?

Right oh fiolks, that's ya lot for now

Burma isnt working & posh isnt happy!

2007-09-28T09:13:00.000+01:00

I've just completed the first of my shift of four nights on and I don't feel too bad really, all things considered. It passed by rather uneventfully, no major excitements or problems to contend with, which was all rather pleasant, well as pleasant as work can be at least. Straight out of work this morning I popped down to the prom for a brief walk and take a couple of snaps, the sea was like a mill pond, hardly a ripple on it's shimmering surface and just a gentle breeze coming from the east.

The view from the prom!

Before I went to work last night, I caught the news and like pretty much everyone I'm appalled by the shocking scenes of military violence in Burma. According to the official media 9 people had been killed yesterday, although with no outside media present, the death toll was probably much higher. Burma's security forces have sealed off the five main monasteries in Rangoon, the capital and declared them no-go areas to prevent anti-government protests. Some monks have been detained and loudspeaker trucks have been criss-crossing the city, warning people not to protect anyone fleeing arrest. Soldiers have blocked major intersections with barbed wire barricades. Some Burmese sources say internet access has been cut off in Rangoon and is only partially available elsewhere. The protesters have been making use of the internet to get pictures and video of the protests and the bloody crackdown to international news outlets. I'm sure these protests will continue for sometime and it's any ones guess how the situation is going to end, one thing is for sure though, there will be more blood shed.

When you see pictures and hear the stories coming out of the country it makes you thankful for the democratic way of life we are so privileged to enjoy. Life could be so much different, as is evident in Burma and many other countries around the world who don't share as much freedom as we have.

You love your job. Your supervisors give you top ratings. Then, one day, a colleague finds out you're gay. A week later, you find your desk emptied into a box. You're fired. The reason? Your sexual orientation. Here's the worst part: firing you for being gay was 100% legal. It's an outrage. In 31 states, you can be fired solely because you're gay – and if you're transgender, that's 39 states. Current federal law protects workers against discrimination based on their race, gender, religion, national origin, and disability—but NOT based on sexual orientation.

This is a fact of life right now in America, what are you doing about it? If you're an American, write to your Congressman, ask them to support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

Staying in the US for a little bit, I hear gossip that Posh, Victoria Beckham is increasingly unhappy out there in LaLa land. Despite the untold riches and the fact that David hasn't had to work that much recently, mainly due to injury, she's still not a happy bunny. A source unearthed by a couple of US tabloid type magazines, claim that things are not going well for them in LA. Victoria has been particularly upset and sobbed to David that their move may have been a mistake, no doubt as he counted his £25m a year wages. She's disappointed that her TV docucrap didn't go down too well that side of the pond and feels their future is rather unsettled. Could this be a case of big fish in a little pond going to a big pond and finding out their just Minos? And wasn't she unhappy and unsettled when they moved over to Madrid? Maybe it's a case of you can travel around the world, but no matter how far you go, you can't get away from yourself! Poor old posh, gosh can you just reach out and cut my sincerity with a knife!

Lily Allen has confessed that leading designers don't want her borrowing their clothes. Not because she makes them look crap, oh no, it's because she keeps damaging the designer goods before she gives them back. She told Cosmo, "I've been banned from some fashion places because I'm so crap with things. Christian Louboutin won't lend me clothes because my dog chewed the shoes he lent me. And I got mud on a Julien Macdonald dress, so he wasn't happy!" When I was told of this story, my first thought was, who the fuck cares? Do I still think the same? You bet I sodding well do!

More soon!!

Am I turning into a grumpy old man?

2007-09-25T18:36:00.000+01:00

When I was a kid, I'd hear my father moan and groan about this and that, about the youth of the day, of the price of things in the shops, of the rudeness of shop staff, of...well pretty much everything really. I swore to myself back then, that no matter what I did in life, I would not be like him when I grew up, that I wouldn't moan and complain about anything and everything. I promised myself then, that I wouldn't be a grumpy old man when I was his age!

Funny how things change, when I was a teenager at school, I promised myself that I'd be a radio DJ, or that I'd travel round the world or that I'd be a published writer. Well, now, two years away from being 40, I can say that I've archived all three of those ambitions. Yes, I've produced and presented radio shows, I'm written features and fiction for various publications and I've travelled round the world twice. But, I've done something else as well, something I didn't want to happen has. I wasn't awear of it starting or creeping up on me, it's like it's only just slipped round the 'S' bend and bite me on the arse. I've become a grumpy old man! Or at least I'm on the way to becoming one, a thought that is both annoying and frightening!

I was walking down St James Street today and found myself grumbling to myself about a small group of teenagers, who were being loud and blocking the path, indeed they weren't doing anything other than being young, yet grumble, albeit to myself, I did.

The second realisation that I was on the theoretical road to attaining the grumpy old man title was the gripes, moans and complaints I had about a recent Tesco home delivery. I even drafted an email to the customer services department of the said supermarket to highlight all that was wrong with the service. Including the time of delivery, the squashed yogurt covers items, the fresh stuff that's already on it's use by date, the drivers swearing, indeed everything you could possible think of as the pitfalls of grocery home delivery were true and having to fork out £6 extra for it, really pissed me off. So, I spent an hour drafting a letter of complaint, well OK, and email of complaint if you want to be pedantic. Surely this is the act of a true grumpy old man, I'm sure you'll agree. So what can I do about it? How can I prevent myself from being like my father or is it pre-ordained, is it in the stars, is it just what's supposed to happen? Is that why I find myself watching the news on TV and thank whatever god there may or may not be that I don't have a child of my own, after all it's hard enough to watch the news let alone explain it to a child!

And whilst we're on the subject of being disgruntled, another thing that really has me angry at the moment is the fact that 5 weeks on and the Police still haven't caught the killer of Rhys Jones, the little 11 year old lad shot and killed on his way back from playing football in Liverpool. The killer, his family, his friends have not come forward and thus, out there right now, there is someone who knows who did it! Hopefully the police are a step closer to finding the perpetrator of this heartless crime tonight, there was a reconstruction along with CCTV footage of the young lad in black on the bike that they believe killed Rhys on Crimewatch tonight along , which may prick some consciouses! Rhys would have been 12 tomorrow, no age at all, his family don't have the luxury of seeing him grow up into a grumpy old man!

!Megastar Jennifer Lopez has fuelled rumours that she is pregnant after showing up at several public events in baggy smock dresses. The star wore a particularly loose fitting frock when she visited a school in her hometown of the Bronx, New York, with her husband salsa star Marc Anthony, (is it just me, or does he sound like a gay stripper from the 80's) David, my work mate thought she looked up the duff when she appeared on Parkinson last week. The couple are promoting their upcoming tour which kicks off on Friday. Jenny is rumoured to be about 12 weeks pregnant after two years of trying fertility treatments, although Marc's publicist has categorically denied the couple are expecting. I guess time will tell, about 6 months worth of time!!

Rejection is a bitch, except when it saves your life! Simon Cowell unwittingly saved a girl's life when he said her voice sounded "weird" on TV show X Factor - she got it checked and doctors found a potentially fatal lung disease.

Jacqui Gray received a withering put down by Cowell on the British talent show after she sang for him. He told her, "Something weird happens in your throat when you sing." Jacqui went to a specialist, who found the condition in time. The wanna be singer was told "if I had not caught it in time it could have killed me" She said "I am just so glad that Simon said something, and that made me do something about it." This has got to be the first case ever of a reality show saving someones life by saying they weren't good enough!

On the prom!

2007-09-24T18:41:00.000+01:00

The weather today has been fine, if a little blustery in Brighton, not the same in Cove in Hampshire, where they had a mini tornado! I went for a walk, but the old right leg is giving me some pain so I came home and watched trashy films - oh the pure joy of not having to do anything!

I cant claim to be a big fan of Jack Penate, but I'm really liking his latest song 'Second Minute or Hour'' I'm not sure if its the catchy tune, the free guitar strumming or the fact that the video is filmed down here in Brighton that is dragging my attentions. But whatever, it's well worth a blast passed your lug holes! If you watch the following video, you'll see little Jack running for the whole song, pretty much all the way along the raised part of the prom between Black Rock and the Terraces! I bet he was plum tuckered out by the time the last notes died away as it's a pretty long way! I particularly like the fact that it's devoid of all people, never the case when I'm walking along that way and also how clever was he, to get a shirt that matches the railings and streetlamps! Pure class, Jack Penate - I salute you!

Staying with music for a little while, but have you seen the video of that pint sized pop puppet 'Lil Chris' singing a former Jackson classic, 'We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time'? At first I thought it was clever, then the whole clothes being pulled off is soo over done that it makes me want to scream. But not only that, never before have I seen such over verbalisation of words being mimed in any kind of video as this little ankle biter seems to achieve in 3 minutes of audio torture! It's beyond cringe worthy, way beyond!

And does anyone know my Amy Wineglass doesn't appear in the 'Valerie' video along with Ronson? Is it because she was too drunk and lashed up?

It's freshers week at the moment and part of every years freshers week in Brighton is the pub crawl! This is when loads of strangers meet up, try and impress each other as they travel around 35 pubs and 4 clubs here in Brighton. Spending half their student grant in one night and then puking it all up at the end of the night! Which is one reason why I'm staying in tonight, mind you, with that many drunken students on the streets, I'd be sure to get a shag, but do I really need vomit on my shagpile? I think not!

Think it's all over in one night, then think again, tomorrow it's student night down the Zap, opps I mean Digital or whatever it's now called. Mind you, I hardly go there anymore anyway, haven't been for years. The Zap was a club from my youth and was always destined to stay there! But the biggest studenty thing will be the 2007 Freshers Ball in Thursday, OMG to use MSN speak. It's going to be wall to wall drunken, smelly, late teens doing all the things in one night that they will regret for the next term. Oh what joy, Jake get me a ticket!

Apparently, Canadian sex god, Haydan Christensen has once again denied the gossip that he is in fact a member of my gang, a raving poof. The rumors keep on popping up that he prefers men to the ladies in the bedroom department. Sometimes in a magazine, sometimes on websites, these stories just keep popping up. I'm not saying he is, or he isn't, just the fact that there is gossip about his sexuality is enough reason for me to put a photo of him up on the blog. I don't give a shit if he prefers front of back bottoms, he's just a fooking sexy man.

Wentworth Miller is another Hollywood star that's fighting off the questions about his sexuality. There are claims that the Prison Break star has been in a gay relationship for nearly a year with another actor called Luke McFarlane, this gossip keeps surfacing on gossip blog Perez Hilton. Hilton is always saying Wentworth is gay, Wentworth is always saying he's not and that he just hasn't met the right girl yet. I don't have a clue if he is or is not taking it up the chocolate starfish, but it;s a great excuse to put another piccie of him on here! God, all these hunky young men on one post of Sex & The Seafront, I might just cream my knickers!

Do you remember former Corrie star Adam Rickett? He dabbled in pop music for a while after he left the Street the first time. His single 'I breathe Again' did reasonably well, then he went back to Corrie for a little while. After that he wanted to get in to politics, for a while it looked like he would for the Conservatives, but nope that all failed. So then he popped on a passing 747 and headed over to New Zealand, he' now in another 'Street' this time it's a show called Shortland Street. But it seems he wants to get in to politics over there, that seems unlikely now, why? Well he's just been nicked for shoplifting! Apparently he forgot to pay for HP sauce and a jar of coffee. Turns out he's been under a lot of stress over a family problem and innocently forgot to pay for several items while he was doing a larger grocery shop in Auckland. He insists it was an accidental oversight but the red tape has to be followed. Stress can do funny things to you, so too can failure!!

X factor. Time flies!

2007-09-23T21:00:00.000+01:00

I can hardly believe it's been a week since I was last here updating the blog on this here interweb thingy! But it has, and well, here I am, it's been a long shift at work, with each hour passing seeming like two! The night's have dragged on and on and very little has happened. Oh sure, I could moan on and on about this, that and the other, but that would mostly be about office politics and mismanagement and would ultimately be boring as hell for you to have to read through! Plus of course, I know the folks from work will be casting an eye in this direction, so I'll just leave it there!

Therefore I started my set of four this week, I popped over to Mo's to have a bit of a nosh up with her and her relative, the lovely Sheena! Mo filled me with food and sent me on my way with more - she's such a good sport! Was nice to chat with her at her house over a nice warming lunch, I always feel so fat and full are Mo's home cooking!

I've had a nice relaxing day today, finished at 8am, had a huge glass of red wine and a doze on the sofa. Now, I know having red wine at 8.30am may make me sound like I have a bit of a drink problem, but you have to take into account that my 8.30am is your 8.30pm, and hey that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

It was quite sunny today, so this afternoon I took a little stroll along the prom and up through Kemptown, it was so nice to do a Sunday afternoon walk, like normal people do at weekends. The wind was blowing into my face along the prom and I gazed out over the channel and thought what a wonderful place to be! Here's today's pics, same shots as before, just on a different day and a different time, perfect indication of how different weather conditions change my view and change my world.

I saw in the Sunday Times that Brighton University is ranked at 30 in the top 100 uni's in the country, which is good news as the town is filling up with new students for the new term. Lot's of new blood, new lives starting out in the adult world, growing up and experiencing new things! Oh the joy of freshers week and all those new shags, opps I mean new friends to make!

I've just watched the repeat of yesterday's X Factor TV show, as regular readers will know I'm quite into this talent contest reality show this year. I love the idea or searching out and seeking new talent, it's refreshing and entertaining. However, I did loose some moisture from my eyes a couple of times during the show. One of those times was when a young 14 year old lad called Luke, cried during the bit when the judges gave their thoughts of his little audition, he looked so scared, so vulnerable, yet full of promise. Simon gave him a chance to come back the next day, and the boy did. He didn't quite do it all, his voice a little weak, but was it good enough to go through? Watch the following vid to find out!

But this whole thing has made me think and question whether lowering the age from 16 to 14 for contestants may not be such a good idea. I worry that at that age, they may not be mature enough to cope with the crushing rejection and long term pain that may cause. Yet, on the other hand, it's also good to see a young talented person shine through, oh the moral dilemma of it all!

Obviously the emotional harder, more cynical of you out there, will laugh at other peoples misery, wont you Jake? But not me, although I do feel that this year, they've edited it to make sure that the more emotional auditions are shown, rather than just highlighting the best and their worst as they have in years passed. Cunning ploy by Simon Cowell, to reach into our emotions to create affection and affiliations to certain contestants to ensure continued high viewing figures. Oh what, even I'm turning in to a little cynic! Ohh wooo is me, hush my mouth.

Oh what the hell is going on with Britney Spears right now? She is so loosing the plot, hardly a day goes by without a new headline crossing the pond about this former singing star and now complete waste of space! Friday she was charged with a hit and run in a car park and driving without a licence, this follows that awful 'come-back-' performance, if you can laughingly call it that, on the video music awards in just her undies. It seem there's more and more gossip surround her in the tabloids each day. Now, with anyone else, you'd think it's just stuff made up by some bored journo, but with her, you know it's true! I mean, we've seen her get married in Vegas, we've seen her get drunk, we've seen her in her undies, we've seen her crack, we've seen her shave her head, we've seen her do pretty much anything except sing well. What are we gonna see her do next? It's like a bad soap opera, indeed her life seems to be one long edition of trashy tabloid TV!

I've tried my hardest to avoid news of The Sex & The City movie, I want it to be a surprise when I watch it on the big screen. But, it's ather like a festering dried scab, you can't resist having a pick or. So I've turned the page, had a gander and it's all good news from New York. Aparently the word on the street is the girls are getting on great, Mr Big plays a medium sized part in the forthcoming flick, oh my excitement is mounting rapidly. SJP is looking so wonderful inthe pics that have been snapped on the street in New York, oh I so can't wait.

OK, here's a question for you, how do you find your way to a secret bunker to escape a nuclear explosion? Answers pretty simple if you live in the north, you simply follow the road signs!

That's it for now folks!

Happy Hookers!

2007-09-17T20:11:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was another sunny day in Brighton and I took the opportunity to cycle over to Portslade to my brother, Chris. The wind was in my face and blowing quite hard, which meant much more energy was expended in peddling the six or so miles out of town. I do love to cycle, especially along the front, on the cycle lanes, it's so nice to have fresh sea air filling your lungs and eyes being treated to what is one of the most wonderful aspects of this town!

The brother was fine, busy doing the ironing and after a wee rest and chat I was back on my way home, along the front again. This time the wind was at my back, therefore it was far more relaxing. Parked up in his huge American truck was Chris Eubank, Brighton resident and former boxer, enjoying looking out over the sea. It's amazing just who you can see down by the sea, just the other day my mate Jakey was walking along the front and almost bumped into Sid Owen, he was an actor once! And before that, another friend, Andrew, was in an Italian restaurant in Hove and a fellow diner was Chris Ellison, another actor! Brighton, home to many famous people!

After a long rest and some nosh I met up with the lovely Jakey and a couple of his pals for a couple of drinks down the road at Legends! I mist admit, for a little while I did feel like an older purveyor or boys, or king Pimp, I was the oldest at the table, by...well quite a long way actually. I was also in the company of not one, but two working boys, yes two of my drinking companions were escorts of the male variety! Now I know this sounds strange, but it was kinda like seeing myself as a younger person, chatting with these boys, they are doing now what I did back then when I was roughly the same age. They have the same hopes and dreams, desires, beliefs and ideals as I held dear at that tender age! Oh the shere beauty of youth, it's a wonderful thing, but my advise to them was enjoy it while you can, for youth is a mask, live it long and live it fast, never wait of hesitate to make your life extraordinary!

Another of my friends is doing something very extraordinary right at this very moment! On Saturday, he jetted off to far off climbs and in this case climbs is the most apt word ever! For Lee is off to trek the Himalayas for two weeks days or so, which is incredibly exciting and arduous! Lee, it's fair to say has not always enjoyed the best of health is trekking in the Indian Himalayas, not for fun, but for charity! He's doing all this in aid of his local hospice, St Oswalds, a place that offers specialist short breaks to children with progressive, life shortening conditions and provides specialist care for children, as well as support and advice for parents, within a relaxed, home-from-home environment. Lee has already completed two training treks up Snowdon as well as the Great North Run, also in aid of St Oswalds, so I wish him the very best of luck, well done Lee. If you'd like to help Lee along the way, then please visit. http://www.justgiving.com/leetrekshimalayas

While I've been in Brighton, David from work has been seeing Erasure up in some Northern Town, Apparently it was really jolly good, I'd have liked to have gone and seen Andy and Vince, as they were a good part of my youth, indeed you could say they were part of the soundtrack of my life in the 80's, but I suppose that would be a little melodramatic. I'm sure it was a good gig, and I'll no doubt have him tell me all about it when we're next at work.

Virgin's no longer Virgin! Shock news to some, but the Virgin boss Richard Branson has gone and sold the Virgin Megastores! It's hard to believe that, after some 30 years Richard will no longer be in control of the megastores that have shaped the way we used to purchase music. Ok, so things are a little different now, music is being purchased more and more in the net and downloaded straight to iPods and the like, so the need for music superstores is diminishing greatly. But, I really hope the new owners keep the Virgin Megastores name, it would be sad to see that go the same way as the Virgin record label.

I hear Kylie's got a new album coming out in November, I'm so looking forward to it, I'm sure it will be great, after all it is our Kylie! David and I were talking the other night at work, bit it's looking like Miss M has had a little work done, well OK, maybe not work exactly, just perhaps some botox, but maybe a little too much! Kylie my darling, no more please! You don't need it one jot!

Dozy sod, I saw this little bit of news when I logged on the old interweb thingy, I was pretty amazed, how one man could be so silly. This Turkish guy broke into a bank, but he didn't end up stealing anything, why you may well ask. So I'll tell you why, because the dozy sod fell asleep and was found by the cleaner in the morning!

Oh and if you're reading this after a mammoth internet session, just be warned, that a man in China dropped down dead after playing an internet game for 3 days solid! So just be a little careful out there, the internet could kill!

Right just before, here's today's pictures from the lovely Brighton coast. I've tried to take them at the same time and in the same position, just to highlight the differences the changing light has on the view.

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A bear movie star!

2007-09-15T17:44:00.000+01:00

Hey, it's the first of my four off tonight, thank fuck for that, it's been a long hard shift at work, well, OK, not that hard but it;s been pretty long! 48 hours of work long to be accurate and correct! But hey, freedom for four now, which is one of the reasons why I do the job I do, to have some quality time off.

I am so hacked off with all the new stories hitting the media about the McCann's and all the hullabaloo surround missing Maddie. There's just so much of it now, it seem like the press and the public have turned against them, every issue of the daily papers have some new revelation about the case. So many different theory's about the poor 4 year old's disappearance, or questions the police want to ask, or secret evidence, hair in the boot of the car and all sorts, buried in the church, accidental killed with a drug overdose and so on and on. Whatever the truth is, I'm sure we'll find out eventually and I'm equally positive that those awful parents have something to do with it all. Enough already!!

I don't know if you've seen the news about the Northern Rock bank, well actually, you can't really have escaped it, it's been the lead story in all the papers and on all the telly channels. Thousands and thousands of nervous customers have queued outside branches for hours, yesterday and today to try and withdraw their savings after the bank announced it had got emergency funds from The Bank Of England.

Queues snaked round the block at most branches of Britain's fifth-biggest mortgage provider for a second day after customers were reported to have withdrawn one billion pounds on Friday. Thousands more jammed the bank's phone lines and Web site to try to get their hands on their money, raising fears that a "run on the bank" could exacerbate problems. Despite assurances that their cash was safe, some customers said they had lost confidence in Northern Rock after it went to Britain's central bank for emergency funds. It's so crazy, the government has said Norther Rock is solvent and do you think the Bank Of England wouldn't have checked that bank out before lending it a billion or so? Nope, Northern Rock has 23 billion quid on deposit and over 100 billion in assets, yet Joe public don't seem to understand that! They've seen people waiting to get their money out, so they've joined the line, stirred up by scaremongering media. Indeed on on broadcast on BBC News 24 they interviewed one of the customers in the que, asked why he was down there, he obviously said to take his savings out, but asked why he said "I dunno, cuz everyone else is" That just about sums up the mass hysteria that has swept the nation, the TV pictures are very reminiscent of a scene from Mary Poppins!

I so glad I don't live in Caracas, it seems that over there they have trouble telling the living from the dead! Yep this guy, who was declared dead after an accident on the motorway and was taken to the morgue. Medical examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face. "I woke up because the pain was unbearable," the 33 year old said, he was still alive!

I was going to go to Shoreham Air Show today, but, I dozed off on the sofa when I got in from work and didn't get to go. I'm kinda glad that sleepiness got the better of me. I'd have been shocked and saddened by the nose dive and crash of a World War II aircraft during the show. The historic aircraft had just taken part in a mock dogfight with other WW2 flying machines, the pilot died instantly. The air show carried on 20 mins later and two Spitfires carried out a flypast in the "man missing in action" formation. I love air shows, but as the years advance, today is a classic example of how dangerous it is to fly these wonderful, yet increasingly aged aircraft.

The biggest bowl of porridge ever made has been created in Edinburgh, breaking the world record. Weighing 81.2kg, the huge breakfast was expected to fill up to 2,000 bowls at the Edinburgh Farmers' Market. The feat broke the existing world record, which was set at 66.26 kg at a farmers' market event in Warwickshire in January. The only question I can think of, is, why?

Ever had a Marmalade sandwich? Ever worn a a blue dufflecoat or black floppy hat? Well the star of the a new film has done all three! Plus he comes from deepest, darkest Peru! Yes it's none other than Paddington whose gonna be the next big movie star! Who'd have thought it, years ago when I was just a sprog watching telly after school that a little animation about a talking bear with a passion for marmalade sarnies would be made into a multi-million dollar movie, but yes, it's going to happen apparently and I for one can hardly wait. Oh another trip down that lane they call memory!

I had a couple of letters today, both post marked 10th September, one with a first class stamp and the other had a second class stamp affixed to it, yet both plonked down on my mat this morning. I guess, that indicates that it doesn't matter which stamp you place on a letter, it still takes the same amount of time to reach it's destination. Strange really, things don't seemed to have improved very much since first and second class post was first introduced back in on this very day in 1968. I bet that somewhere, there is still someone waiting for a letter that was posted those 39 years ago!

Right, there ya go, that's ya lot for today, but before I leave you with a couple of pics taken this morning, at 8.30, well I live by the sea, so why not share my good fortune with you!

A book store coffee

2007-09-11T17:13:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went for a little wander up to the other side of town, well OK, I crossed the Stein, which is something us Kepmtowner's don't tend to do all that often! Some say it's because Kemptwon area of Brighton is like it's only little village within the city, but I rather think it's because we're lazy! Anyway I popped up to Borders the book store on the edge of Churchill Square and met up with David. We had a Starbucks, yes there is one in Boarders, a small one, and it was rather nice, we chewed the fat and nattered away. It was almost like a setting the world to rights over a coffee. We both told how sick to death we are of hearing about those awful McCanns and how we are some what vindicated in our early views that they had something to do with their missing daughter!

We talked about music and the MTV video awards and Britney's performance, or should I say lack if it, well when I say we talked, I do of course mean we bitched! But hey, we are a couple of gay guys, sitting in a Starbucks inside a book store in the camp town of Brighton, what did you expect we'd be doing!

Anyway, after a while and I purchased two new tomes from Josie Lloyd & Emlyn Rees, 'The Three Day Rule' and 'The Seven Year Itch' which I've been promising myself to buy for ages, just never getting round to it, well you know what I'm like! There's always tomorrow, which in fact is technically true, however, with the rapid approach of a milestone age, may not be true for much longer! God, I need a holiday! Anyway, I'll fill you in on the books at a later date, when I've read them of course, because until then, all I can really tell you is they have nice covered and whatever blurb the publishers have put on the back!

So after the stores David and I took a little stroll along the front and watched the world go by for a wee while. I can hardly believe it, but it's the only time that David and I have been out, on days off without having a drop or ten of alcohol! Strange, but true, but then again, poor David is getting over some flu like symptoms, so maybe it's just as well!

I came home and watched something on telly, which I have no idea what it was, it just floated passed my eyes in a blur of pixelated dots! I came on the computer and logged in and had a long chat with an old friend on MSN. It's so nice, sometimes to have an MSN chat, you can say so much more than you can in texts and do it faster. It's like being on the phone, but without having to worry about a little bit of silence and you can do other things at the same time. Always a bonus, but I basically spent a large part of the day surfing, chatting and doing very little. However, I did have a look at the first re-written chapter of my book that I'm struggling to write. I've had it on the back burner for a while, hoping the a rested and fresh set of eyes and mind power will enable me to get back in the swing of writing, after all that is the one thing in life that I love and hasn't let me down! Well at least not yet!

This morning I woke with the sun on my face, burning through the open window and the breeze gently flapping the curtains. So I jumped out of bed and took a walk along Upper St James Street and all the way towards the marina end. Then I crossed down and walked back along the prom. It's so nice when the weather is kind, I never tire of looking at the sea, something of a bonus living in Brighton. I'm thinking of doing an special set of photos, taking one a day of the say spot, so you too can see the weather change, the differences in the light and how it changes the whole view. Oh god, am I going into an arty stage again!

It's 9-11, as the Americans say, and it would be a little remiss of me, not to give a little mention to all the victims of the terrorist acts in New York six years ago. It's hard to believe it has been six years since that awful day of terror, but yes, six years have come and gone and what's changed?

Victory for England! European Union commissioners have ruled that Britain can carry on using imperial measurements such as pints, pounds and miles. Europe's Industry Commissioner Gunter Verheugenas said: "There is not now and never will be any requirement to drop imperial measurements." The decision will not affect current law on metric measurements, but means imperial equivalents can be used too. It follows years of wrangling between London and Brussels over metrication. Most importantly for me, it means the great British Pint is saved! The commission has kept extending the deadline for the UK to complete the full transition to the metric system, with the most recent deadline being 2010. This would have meant setting a deadline for ending the traditional delivery of pints of milk and the sale of pints of beer in the UK's pubs, but now we can keep our pint! Yippeee!!!

There is apparently a new series of Hell's Kitchen been going on which has pretty much escaped me, largely because motor-potty-mouth Gordon Ramsey is not the lead chef, Marco Pierre White is, whose about as charming and as French as my little tow. Anyway, there's been a bunch of has been's and x list celebs in the kitchen trying to impress a room full of free loaders! The only reason I'm commenting about it, that today it was on the news because ex-bankrupt and ex-alchy Jim Davidson has been sacked from it because of gay remarks! Yep, comedian (are you sure!) Jim Davidson has left ITV1's Hell's Kitchen after making, what the ITV called "unacceptable remarks" after he called gay people 'Shirt-lifters'. This upset fellow contestant Brian Dowling and some viewers of the show. An ITV spokeswoman said producers had asked him to leave the show. "ITV does not condone comments which could cause offence," she continued. Jim Davidson - offensive, well there's a surprise! Reach out and cut my sarcasm with a knife!

Oh, do you remember, a little while ago I told you that I posted off a letter to Stephen Fry, that king of the business they call show? Well, I did and yesterday, the postie plonked a letter on my mat from the very man. I hadn't really expected a reply, it wasn't a fan letter, more a thank-you for the entertainment kind of thing. But, respond he did, "Your charming and gratifying letter cheered me enormously" he wrote, proving beyond doubt, if ever there was any, that he is a thoroughly decent chap!

Stop Police!

2007-09-09T18:29:00.000+01:00

Friday was a lazy day for me with very little of anything going on, I just need to chill for a while and unwind. Jake came round in the evening and we had a Chinese take out and a bottle of wine, well come on, it's me, what do you expect! Sometimes I think I have a drink problem, other times I don't, I mean sometimes I drink, I fall over - no problem!

Saturday dawned early, at least by my standards, the sun was bright and the sky a lovely shade of powder blue that gave me a morning spurt of energy and a will to do something with my day. So I busied myself with those domestic chores, that one usually saves up for days off, you know the washing, the dusting, the hoovering and all that. I whizzed round like a professional domestic engineer (cleaner!) and was all done by 10am. I wanted to go for a ride on the bike then, after all it's been a long while since I was in the saddle, but I had to wait for my Tesco food delivery. Two hours later he turned up with my goodies, after unpacking, I settle down to a coffee when Angus sent me a text asking if I was working that night. I replied in the negative and then he offered me that chance to see The Police playing at Twickenham Stadium, naturally I jumped at the chance!

We met at four at Brighton station and started out train trip to Twickers! It was fab to natter with our Angus as our anticipation ascended. I've never been to Twickenham before and I must say I was rather impressed with the rather huge stadium, the home of English rugby, it's big and was very well organised. We mingled with the gathering throng, complained at the price of official merchandise, sank a pint and took our seats in the North Stand, block 25, row 28. I'm really glad that Angus had chosen tickets in one of the stands and on one of the levels as the on pitch seating would have been a tad difficult to even see where the stage was! Sting's son was on first, but to be honest, we were outside having a pint, so comment about it I can not. Then there was a little break before Maximo Park took the limelight on the stage, now I can't claim to be a fan and indeed if you'd have asked me what they've done, I'd be hard pushed to name a single track of theirs, yet my foot was tapping and I quite enjoyed them. OK, so we were at the back and I'd have loved to have been closer, but we did benefit from being central and thus great sound quality.

Angus wasn't too chuffed with the musical abilities to entertain of Maximo, so we piddled about with sending texts and taking photos and being, well kinda silly really! I blame Angus, cuz you'd never get me being silly now would you? Oh hulloo James, nice pic from New York! Anyway after a comfort stop and a drag (for me) me were back in our seats, and after around ten waves of the Mexican variety the lights dimmed and wee got ready for the main event. Oh, before I go on about Sting and the boys, I just want to add that this is the first time I've been involved in a Mexican wave, that is on three different balconies with nearly fifty-five thousand people taking part!

The stadium lights dimmed, the crowd had a collective intake of breath, the stage spots shone brilliantly, the music started and the vocal stylings of Sting filled the air of Twickenham. I was surprised at how much I'd missed the sound of The Police, who have not had a track out for years, but hearing them play live, was a trip into audio wonderment. Having earlier said the sound quality was good for Maximo, on a couple of tracks from the headliners, the same can not be said, it did shake a bit, maybe it has something to do where we were sitting, so far back that it took half a second to reach us. However that gripe aside it was a really good gig and their classic hits shone through and really raised the roof. Roxanne was powerful, Do Do Do Da Da Da was played to the crowd with the obligatory audience participation. To say the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention would be a massively over used cliche, yet during Every Breath You Take and Walking On The Moon it was true. Sting was no bigger than my thumb nail, but thanks to the two stage flanking video screens we could enjoy seeing him perform and for a guy his age, he's looking pretty good and sure puts a lot into what is, to be honest, just another day at work for him! The Police live at Twickenham Stadium was a darn fine gig, very enjoyable, entertaining and a thrill. Getting out was a bit of a mare, but then again, with 55,000 people all heading out, it was never going to be fast, it seemed like a different day when we finally got back to the relative safety and normality of Brighton station at 1.14am.

This morning I rose with Every Breath tripping the light fantastic in my cranial cavern, I watched a bit of news - more on that in a mo, and then rode over to Portslade to see my brother, who wasn't there, so I rode back. Yes, indeed I got back in the saddle and yes, my legs are aching like fuck right now, well actually, just the right leg, the one with metal and screws on the inside, is giving me a throbbing pain, but hey, thems the breaks!

So breaking news all day was that following Gerry and Kate McCann's interviews by the Police in Portugal and being named as suspects, they've headed home, back to the UK. When little Maddie first went missing, Gerry and Kate said they would not leave Portugal until their daughter was with them, yet now they are official suspects, they've hightailed their sorry arses outta town! After the first week the toddler being missing, I've thought that there was something not quite right with those two. Something was amiss, the whole way they've carried themselves, everything about them has just the odour of insincerity about it. I'm not saying they are guilty of murdering the little Maddie, but they are somehow implicated in her disappearance. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens next, but I'm willing to bet good money that there are more police interviews to come for the McCanns and maybe even some charges! Bout time too if you ask me!

That's it for now! More soon!

Oi hands off my DNA, none shall sleep!

2007-09-06T10:00:00.000+01:00

I've just done night 3 of this set of 4 and it's been a pretty busy old time, I know I complain about work, but sometimes I actually do enjoy it, this shift has been one of those times. I think I prefer it busy, but just don't tell the boss! One of the things about working a 12 hour night shift is that it leaves little time when you're not at work to do anything other than sleep during the day, it also means you spend so many waking hours with work colleagues than most normal job, plus there are only a few of you doing the graveyard shift, so you quickly get to know the ins and outs of each other - oh the secrets I could tell!

There has been a little bit of an uproar in England over the last day or so after a senior judge called for all UK residents and visitors to be required to provide a DNA sample to help police solve crimes. Lord Justice Sedley said this would make the present database in England and Wales fairer and less biased, the database currently holds details of four million people's DNA. Each month, some 30,000 more samples from suspects or DNA recovered from crime scenes are added to the database, making it the largest in the world.

It includes some 24,000 samples from young people aged between 10 and 17, who were arrested but never convicted! This silly judge said "Everybody, guilty or innocent, should expect their DNA to be on file for the absolutely rigorously restricted purpose of crime detection and prevention"

The Human Genetics Commission said creating such a huge database would be too expensive and prone to mistakes. Liberty, the civil rights group claim the proposal as "chilling" and "ripe for abuse". I quite agree, it's a step way to far, a massive infringement on my own personal civil liberties. Just think of what could happen if such details and the samples got into the wrong hands, to be honest it doesn't bear thinking about. It's just too much like 'Big Brother' looking over us and collecting way way to much information on us, our lives, our being and our movements.

The parents of murdered 11-year-old Rhys Jones have asked well-wishers to wear bright clothes or football strips for their son's funeral on Thursday. The schoolboy, a keen fan of his local side Everton, will be buried after a service at Liverpool's Anglican cathedral.

He died after being shot in the neck in a pub car park in the Croxteth area of the city on his way home from playing football on 22nd August. Another young, innocent victim of horrendous street crime that seems to be ever present here in England. So far 17 people have been arrested over his murder, but no charges have been brought. Somewhere, someone knows who did this crime and is saying nothing, someone holds the clue that could capture the killer, yet they are staying silent, I wont say what I think of that as I don't want to offend you with my colourful and expletive language, I not a fan of capital punishment, it's not something I believe in, however in this case I sure could make an exception.

The musical world has suffered a huge loss in the early hours of this morning when that giant of opera Pavarotti passed away at the ripe age of 71. This rather ermm rotund, bearded tenor, who was regarded by many as the greatest tenor of his generation, came to to fame when he made a stand-in appearance at London's Covent Garden way back in 1963. Soon this rather large guy with an amazing and voluminous voice had the critics and fans gushing.

Perhaps his biggest gift to the music world was when he teamed up with Spanish stars Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras at the 1990 soccer World Cup in Italy and introduced operatic classics to an estimated 800 million people in TV coverage around the globe, and 1 little person at home in West Green in Crawley!

Sales of opera albums shot up after the gala concert in Rome's Baths of Caracalla and strains of Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" became as much a feature of soccer fever as the usual more raucous stadium chants and a favorite of countless millions of people the world over.

New iPods!! Fresh after you've splashed ya cash on a new iPod or iPhone if you're in the states, along they come with a new bit of high tech kit! Apple Inc. (I love the Inc part of US companies, much nice the the Ltd we have!) unveiled new iPods on Wednesday including a model with an iPhone-style touch screen and wireless Internet connectivity! Hopefully stopping rivals catch-up plans stone dead for a while!

Not only touch screens but also Apple introduced higher capacity versions of the original hard-drive iPod and added video and games to it's iPod nano, which stores songs and photos on flash memory chips. The iPhone-style iPod Touch will cost $299 thats £148 for a version with 8 gigabytes of storage and $399 for 16 GB. Those new nanos will set you back a cool $149 for 4GB and $199 for 8GB, which is not bad at all, I think. New versions of the hard-drive iPod will retail for $249 for 80GB and $349 for 160GB, which is a little bit on the steep side, but then again it is Apple so therefore it is more expensive than other makers. To a large extent you're paying for the name and the innovation, but also the style, after all there are pure Apple queens out there. You know the kinda chap, just has to have the latest 'i' whatever, regardless of cost. The kind of chap that will fork out a few hundred pounds on a iBook, iPod, iMac just because it's an Apple. The kinda person that would even buy an iVibrator if such a thing was available!

I could hardly believe it when I heard the news about billionaire Russian owner of Chelsea football club, Roman Abramovich, has ordered another private aircraft! It's not that he's ordered another one, but the type of aircraft that had my ghast so flabbered! He's only gone and put in an order for one of those new super double decker Airbus A380, the world's biggest airliner! A French newspaper released the news that Abramovich was the mystery buyer behind an order for an A380 VIP, which was revealed by Airbus at the Paris Air Show in June.

The double decker A380, which enters service later this year, is capable of carrying 840 passengers. It's first commercial flight will be from Singapore to Sydney by Singapore Airlines, yet you can't buy tickets in the normal way for unique flight. Nope, to get your mitts on a ticket you'll have to keep an eye on eBay, where the tickets will be auctioned off and all the profits going to charity. Big business does good for once, I've already registered online for my shot at snapping up a ticket, but I'm sure it's going to be well out of my price range! See http://www.a380.singaporeair.com/ for more details.

Time to sleep now, be good till the next time!

Scene Queen - moi?

2007-09-03T07:16:00.000+01:00

I'm not at all sure why I have a headache this morning, I only had a couple last night! After a lazy day of doing very little I met up with David from work for a drinkie or two. Started in the Star, not one of my usual haunts, but David wanted to check out something or other going on there, so we had one standing in the doorway. Then headed to Charles Street. David was on top form, he hasn't been in that venue for five long years h said and was a little disappointed with the place. I'm not surprised, it has seen better days, the place looks rather grubby messy, tired and well down at heal. But, hey it's got an outside area, which for a smoker is a boon, that is if you can put up with standing in piles of fag ends that litter the floor. Then we headed up to Amsterdam, which is much nicer and a whole lot cleaner. We sat inside and then sat outside on the terrace, under the heat lamps, listening to the sound of Sunday Sundae blasting from Audio next door, it was almost Brighton's version of Thelma and Louise doing the south of France! A right old giggle and then finally we had a nightcap at Legends. It was good to paint the town a nice shade of pink and had a right old giggle.

Saturday night, I was out with Jake and a couple of his buddies from uni, yes, I was the oldest by about 15 years! Something about the oldest swinger in town was mentioned, and indeed Jake said that I was in danger of becoming a scene queen! The cheek of the lad, I'm not a queen and hardly ever out on the scene, but that's the young of today for you. We headed up to Kepmtown village for a drink in a bar, I can't remember the name, but it was a nice little place, then I was marched down to the front where beverages were taken in Amsterdam again, and then back to Legends. It wasn't a massive drinking session, just a little troll to make sure I'm not missing out on scene life! Plus it's been rather nice, having the whole weekend off, which is something I don't often have and plus I was awake, which makes a change!

Living in such a vibrant and accepting town as Brighton it's sometimes very hard to see and believe that not all places are as tolerant as my hometown. Sometimes it's other news from around the world that just thunders home how lucky we are in the town and indeed this country, that our rights's, lives and well being is protected by law. For example, here's just a tiny round up of homophobia and discrimination from around the world:- The President of Samoa banned all gay activity at the recent South Pacific games, straight activity was encouraged. There are 58 laws that need changing for Aussie gay and lesbians to have equality, so far about 25,000 people down under have petitioned John Howard, the PM, in support of those changes. In Texas, a church offered to host a funeral for Cecil Sinclair a navy veteran, but cancelled it at short notice when they saw a photograph of the deceased with his arm around his boyfriend. Staying with the States, the Virginia State School Board has granted access to children as young as 5 years old to PFOX. PFOX is non-profit organization providing outreach, education, and public awareness in support of the ex-gay community and families touched by homosexuality. They believe that 'ex-gays' make the personal decision to leave homosexuality through gender affirming programs, including secular therapy and/or faith based ministries, otherwise known as social pressure and brain washing! They fight to stop equality, they target schools with any kind of gay group, gay activities, gay association or a even school that simply has an open and understanding policy on homosexuality. Now it appears that they've been given the right to leaflet children as young as 5 in Virginia! A Brazilian judge insists that gay players don't belong in soccer and should not be accepted. Two French tourists were arrested in from of the Coliseum in Rome, their crime was, they were kissing! That's just a tiny little itty bit of homophobic news from around the world! I'm so glad I live in a country where we have same sex civil partnerships, where we have an equal age of consent, where it's illegal to discriminate against us because or our sexuality. There are many things wrong with this country, but at least this is one area where we've got it right!

A bit of love now, Nearly 7000 couples smooched late on Saturday in the Bosnian town of Tuzla in a bid to break the world simultaneous kissing record. the crowd kissed for at least ten seconds at 11pm local time with fireworks, a giant TV screen, confetti and heart-shaped red balloons as the backdrop, and yes, they broke the world record!

I hear Darren Hayes, that kooky singer from Savage Garden is playing Brighton Dome this 28th day of September, I'd like to see him, his voice is so sweet, just think of Savage Garden's wondrous hits 'Affirmation' and 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' and it evokes feelings of pleasure. Sadly I'm whoring that night, so I might have to try and pull some strings and get the night, or at least part of the night off. Mika is also playing Brighton in the not too distant future, might have to bag myself a ticket for that gig as well. Oh and also coming out, is the DVD of one of the best gay films ever to come out of Britain in the 80's, the Fruit Machine! It's a wonderful film, part of it set in good old Brighton and stars Robbie Coltrane - in drag!

Anyway, enough rantings from me for now, more soon no doubt, although it's back to work tonight and I'm not looking forward to that, but hey, it pays the bills!

Where is the love?

2007-09-01T21:02:00.000+01:00

Phew, last night Big Brother 8 came to an end with more a whimper than a bang, it has been the least watched and least talked about Big Brother series of all time, sparking doubt into the future of the show. Edemol have already scrapped plans to do another celeb version of the show, so who knows what the future holds for the nromal plebs version of the prog. I'm sure we've not seen the last of BB, but in it's present format, I think it's had it's day! I don't even know whose won!

Tell you what tho, I have just been watching the X Factor, it's so funny, I love talent searching, fresh raw talent coming through from the masses. The X Factor always shows the best and the worst of the folks auditioning for a better life, so are surprisingly bad, that it's so hard to believe they're doing it for real. That some how they actually think they can sing, that they have a nice voice, that they have a chance. Other's surprise you with a voice that can only be described as heaven sent.

I'm not sure what's happened this season, but Simon Cowell, seems to be just a little tiny bit more, well nice! He's less cutting and rude as he used to be, perhaps he's mellowing with age, or myabe they've edited out his really nasty comments. After all it is his show, his idea, his production company make it and his record company that give the winner the record contract! I know he's a hit with the ladies, he's quite charming too when he's not on the telly, accroding to Angus, who lives next door to his mum. (Hi Angus!) One person that thinks Mr Cowell is top stuff is the ladie that travelled nearly 6,000 miles so that she could audition and meet her idol Simon Cowell. 31 year-old Toshiko turned up to the Birmingham auditions and sang her own version of 'My Way' all the way from Japan, she told Simon "I like you very much Simon, I came here just to meet you, you are very big in Tokyo." And, he was incredibly nice to her, although she didn't go through!

I was watching just a little while ago and had tears in my eyes when some of the better ones managed to get a yes from the judges and through to the the next round. How come just lately I always cry at happy times?

One of the one to look out for that went through last week was the rather lovely looking Private Ryan, a 22 year old squaddie whose already done two tours of Iraq and watched two of his mates die infront of him. He was sweet, humble and has a really nice voice. He could have the X Factor, I'm sure he'll go far in the show, he might not be the winner, but he'll do well.

Told ya he was a bit of a hottie!

Theif with a concience! I loved this when I saw it on the net!

A man's home in New Zealand was visited twice in one day by the same burglar. First the thief stole a laptop computer, a camera, and Graeme Glass's wallet with an American Express credit card in it. The burglar went back to the house in Queenstown later and returned the goods, along with a new basketball and two pairs of gloves bought with the stolen credit card. Strange but true!

That's your lot, it's Saturday night and there is a pint with my name on it waiting for me in the bar. Soo till next time be good and take care of your good selfs!.

Diana, film & sagger against the law?

2007-08-31T18:19:00.000+01:00

Ok, it's been a few days since I was last here with a lil update, so let me just get on and do one, I've had a good long shift at work. It's been rather ok actually, we've amanged to have a bit of a giggle really. You know funny little things, that outside the context of the situation would seem stupid and silly, but in context, they cause much laughter and merriment. It's basically been one of those fun weeks, well if work can ever be FUN.

There's a guy that I see at work very briefly and I seem to have developed a little soft spot for him, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by my cohorts. I try to be as cool as King Cool of the cool people each time he comes down, but I end up being the most un-cool person on the floor, which inself has cause much of the laughter in the office! Oh well, such is life, well my life anyway.

Last night was the first night off and I managed to have a completely relaxing day, I basically dozed on the sofa for a little while and then watched trashy TV for most of the morning. Well actually, the morning turned ionto the afternoon and I was still watching telly, a right lazy sod I was, but you know there are some days you just need to chill and have a lil bit of 'Me' time!

Jake poped round and we watched a rather deep Spanish film called 'El Bola' that I got from 'Love Film' it's a haunting Spanish drama that tells the story of Pablo or Pellet (played wonderfully by Juan Jose Ballesta), a tough, hostile, abused 12-year-old whose life begins to open up when he's befriended by the new kid in school, and sees in his loving family an alternative to the cruelty he's become accustomed to. Jake and I have a little passion for foriegn language films, I'm not sure if it's the fact that you really have to concentrate a little harder when you watch them, or if it's usually the darkness or gritty realism, or what they makes me like them more. El Bola was actually a really good movie and hauntingly sad. While the end credits where rolling up the screen, tears were rolling down my very own screen. Jake gave me a hug and told me I was just beeing an over emmotional softie, but hey I cant help it, I always cry at sad movies and weddings.

I like Love Film, it's one of these online DVD rental stroes, you pay a monthly subscription and then you get to watch DVD's, they send them to you, you watch them, send them back, they send you another. There's over 60,000 DVD to see, which is a rather lot of telly watching if you ask me. Plus, there are loads of films on there that I guess you wouldn't find in your local 'Blockbuster' or whatever. Another thing I really like, is the simple fact that I don't prioritise the order they send me DVD's, so each time one of there little envelops arrive, I have no idea what's inside! OK, yes I know it's a DVD inside, but I don't have a clue what the film is going to be, it's like a little surprise, a little trip in the unknown, it could be good, it could be great or it could be a complete waste of time! What's that, simple things please simple minds? with that, argue, I can not!

Here's a little treat for you, click on the LoveFilm logo below and when you sign up you'll get one whole month free!

It's been 10 yeas since Diana, The Princess Of Wales, died in that car crash in Paris and in London Princes William and Harry held a special service at Guards Chapel. Harry gave a moving speech about his mother, how she ws a fun loving person, ful of many gifts who made them and millions of other people very happy. She was an icon of our time, a true global celebrity, even 10 years since her passing, she is still remembered with fondness, love and respect. Missed? Of course she is missed, not only by her two son's but also but the countless others whose hearts she touched with her charitible work, he kindness, her smile, her warmth.

Apparently sagging is to become illegal in the US, well actually not all over the states, just in Atlanta. But where one state makes a stand, the others usually follow.

But what's sagging, well, it's more something that happens over that side of the pond, we do have it here in England, but not to such an extent, perhaps our climate has something to do with that, or it could be the price of clothes that prevent Sagging being a wide spread problem.

OK, so sagging is the wearing of baggy trousers, usually jeans, that hang way below the belt and expose what the wearer has on underneath could soon be banned in the southern US city of Atlanta, a city council spokesman said last Friday. "Many youngsters are walking around with their pants (trousers to us Brits!) way, way below their waists, and you can see everything. Some people call it a fad or a fashion statement but it is simple indecency," Dexter Chambers, the communications director at Atlanta City Council, told the media. "A proposal to change the city code in terms of indecency will go before the public safety legal administrative committee on Tuesday for discussion," he said. This pic left is Joe from Chicago, with a little sag!

Apparently there have been many complaints to various council men, teachers and the like about this fad of wearing low hanging/saggy pants which exposes ones underwear is becoming a major concern for communities, cities and states around the country! The officials are trying to add a clause to the code on public morals, this already bans real or simulated sexual intercourse, indecent exposure, or the touching, caressing or fondling of genitals or women's breasts in public. So now they are trying to make "the indecent exposure of undergarments" unlawful.

But, Atlanta is not the first to have this kind of law, nope, saggers or baggy trousers are already banned in the southern US city of Delcambre, in Louisiana, where offenders' cheek (hehe) can earn them a fine of $500 or up to six months in jail. That's a high price for low jeans!

Where is the heart?

2007-08-25T21:48:00.000+01:00

There are times when I am proud to call myself British, proud of my country, yet there are other times when I am not, times when it's hard to have faith in the 'goodness' of being British. I have that feeling now, over the mindless shooting of that little 11 year old Rhys Jones, in Liverpool on Wednesday. This young lad had been playing football in the park and was walking home with a couple of other lads, when along came a teenager on a bike who fired three shots, 1 hit a car, 1 missed everything and 1 hit little Rhys in the neck, ensuring his parents would never celebrate his twelve birthday.

His parents gave such a heartfelt appeal on television for information to help catch his killer, they told of their huge loss, a loss that one can not comprehend. They said their football mad son, was their pride and joy, a good guy, a smiley happy lad. I had tears stinging my eyes as I watched as his father told of his pain going into his sons room and seeing the brand new school uniform hanging up, never been worn, the unopened books, pens and pencils, the new shorts and kit ready for a new term at a new school that his son has never got to wear, along with those new shoes and new trainers. My eyes still sting with salty tears even now as I type this, he was just a boy, just 11 years old, a whole life ahead of him, a life full of promise, a life cruelly snuffed out by this gunman's bullet. I say gunman, that's not strictly true, the description of the person who cycled up and fired those three shots is said to be a lad between 13 and 16.

I'm not ashamed to be British by the fact that Rhys was shot and killed on the streets of my country, as vile, horrendous and devastating as this crime is, it can happen, it's so rare in the country but it can happen. Its not the valiant attempts by the medical professionals who battled for an hour and a half to revive the small boy that shake my faith in being British. Nor is it the actions of the police, whose numerous appeals for information have been screen almost hourly on TV. The thing that shames me is the wall of silence that has followed from the community, the community where the killer comes from, the community that knows who did it, that knows who fired the shot that ended this youngsters life!

Another thing that has attracted my eye today is the strange appearance of Gerry McCann, father of the missing toddler, Madeleine in Edinburgh. He wasn't there for a break, he wasn't there to see the sights, he wasn't there because of a sighting of his little girl. No, he was there to give a speech at The International Media Festival! He complained that the media coverage of his daughters disappearance was becoming intrusive, irresponsible reporting and not a lot of good. This is the coverage he and his wife courted, requested and in a lot of cases arranged. He and his wives TV and Media agents, yes they do have them, have gone out of their way to achieve publicity. Hypocrisy on a grand scale me thinks, mind you, right from the start I think they've handled the whole thing badly. But perhaps, the McCann's now want to stop the media coverage because the media is starting question and critics them?

A teenage geek is causing a few red faces and worried frowns at electronics giant Apple! George Hotz, a 17 year old American nerd, has unlocked Apple's iPhone and used it on T-Mobile, a rival network to its sole US operator, AT&T. The teen hacker says the unlocking takes about two hours and involves some soldering and skill with software. "Some of my friends think I wasted my summer but I think it was worth it" the teenager said to the media after he revealed his achievements on his blog over in the States. Hackers and security researchers have been poring over Apple's much-coveted, much in demand phone since its launch in the US in June in an effort to discover vulnerabilities in the handset. Top of their list has been cracking the code that ties the phone to AT&T, the iPhone's exclusive network. And now a 17 year old lad has done just that, his claims have been confirmed by the press association. AT&T and Apple have not yet commented on the news!

It's been Gay Pride up in Manchester today, and loads of poofs and lesbians have been enjoying the day, amoung them my friend Jakey. He said it was just like Brighon's pride earlier this month only not in a park and not as good. The police lead the parade, just like in Brighton and it was a good day apparently, according to the rather odd texts I've recieved from the younger man. His spelling is getting worse by the text, which may very well be as his intoxication increases! Have fun Jake!

So, it appears that Big Brother is on the way out! I'm oddly proud of the fact that I have not watched a complete single episode of this current series, I don't know anyone who has been a regular viewer of this once popular show. But it appears that it's coming to an end, well OK, maybe it's just the star's version of the show. The 2008 series of Celebrity Big Brother is being axed in the wake of the race row which engulfed the shows last run, Channel 4 has confirmed. A decision about a return for the reality show in 2009 is expected to be made next year, but according to some people at the production company Endemol, it's unlikely to come back in it's present form, the same may very well be applied to the 'non' celebrity version of the show. Still those at Endemol are not that concerned, they've got the contract until 2010, so they'll get paid regardless, if it's on or not!

Thta's ya lot for today, more soon, but just before I go, I want to say thanks to Tom for the comments, you're a font of knowledge! Always good to get your comments!

At last a paddle!

2007-08-22T21:30:00.000+01:00

Ever had a day where everything goes wrong, where nothing is easy and you feel like giving up? Yeah I am sure you have, we all have days like that, day's when you wish you'd never opened up your bleary eyes, swung your legs out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. This is dedicated to days when things go wrong and you're heading up shit creek without a paddle, because as the following photo proves, you do now have a paddle, at least you can get one. So chill, it's not that bad, there is hope!

As a veggie, I'm always keen on keeping an eye out for new products and recipes to make my diet as a committed vegetarian more exciting. However I did have a little chuckle and wonder what possed the makes of the V Pud to make such a thing when I saw this in the local grocery emporium! It's a vegetarian version of Black Pudding!! OK, so I guess some of you may not know what a traditional English Black Pudding is, and no, it's not some dark chocolate sweet for afters. It is in actual fact a delicacy? made up of fat, lard, onions and ermm blood! Yeah, it's an animal blood pudding, with the main ingredient being the fresh blood of either a pig, sheep or cow. So a vegetarian version of this is shall we say a little on the strange side of things. So strange that I'm going to try it out, I'll let you know what my non blood blood pudding tastes like after I've sampled it, although I can honestly say the mere idea of noshing it down is not filling me with joy!

The V Pud!

A vegetarian black pudding!

OK, so the V pud, is actually kinda nice, looks a bot odd, taste nice though, I'll have to have more of it for a recovery fry-up breakfast after my next big boozy session, it's the perfect fried thing to fill you up after a massive session on the beverages or those alcohol variety!

It's been a long hard shift of four at work, really difficult to copy with, but hey it's over now and thank fuck for that! I've had a very do nothing kind of day today, which has been nice and relaxing. I'm going to go cycling tomorrow, if the weather is agreeable. It's about time I got back on the bike and god knows my bad leg needs a work out. It's a bit sore and stiff just lately and it's also a lil bit swollen around the knee, so I think a work out is in order. It'll either make it better or it will give me reason to go to the doc's and fix up the next op!

I've just watched England play Germany in a friendly European footie game. I know, how butch, how manly and straight, but hey, one cant be a mincy poof all the time! It was good, except, England lost 2 - 1, still my fav player lil Alana Smith was playing, which I enjoyed. Sadly he's not got his trademark dyed blonde hair at the mo, just his natural dark colour, but, he;s still a hottie and still a good player. I sunk a few cans of beer whilst watching the match, god I feel so straight!

Apart from the ride tomorrow, I've not got anything major planned, just Jake coming around for a bit of nosh and to do his washing, however to be honest, I think after nosh, we'll head out and have a bit of a booze up! I think I need it! David is down in Wales to see his mummy, the other David is so wrapped in his boyfie I don't think he'll ever come out to play!

It's a shame it's coming up for winter, OK, so it's still August, but with the weather recently you'd never know it, all rain, doom and gloom. I could so do with some more sun, in fact a lot more sun. I'd love to be living some place hot and sunny, where the weather is a lot kinder to me and far more beneficial to my health. Perhaps I should do what record number of Brits are doing and that's moving overseas! Yeah, more and more Brits are now leaving the country to live in places like Australia, New Zealand, Spain or even America! They are blaming many things, but towards the top of the list are weather, tax, employment, crime, immigration. Indeed, there are times that it does not feel like England any more, I'll give you a couple of examples, England's most common family names? Patel & Singh. England's most popular dish? Curry & korma There are shops in my hometown of Brighton where all the products are Polish, all the signs are in Polish and the only language spoken is, yep you got it Polish! In fact in this town, according to local research, over 80 % hotel employees come from Poland and other Eastern European countries. England, our once great nation, our once world leader is now fast becoming a cesspit of Europe, there are some many people from other countries here that you can walk from one end of town to the other and see only two or three real Brits!

Maybe that is the sign of things to come, we will no longer be a single country, just an island outpost of central Europe. Perhaps we are less European than those on the mainland, but will that last for long? Hope long before we have to have the Euro? How long with we stay British and not be Europeans, but more so, is there and pride left in being British?

Fry just a little japs and too much Cotton!

2007-08-18T02:01:00.000+01:00

I've had a lazy day, full of well, very little actually, I got up late for no other reason that I could, took a brief walk outside, looked at the sea and the prom as I have done every day of these four off. I just love living by the sea, no matter how I'm feeling, one look at the sea coming to kiss the shore, relaxes me and dare I say without sounding like a pompous twat, enchants me! So thus enchanted, I got on an bus and went to see my brother over in the less enchanting, Portslade. My brother is hosting students from the EF language school, so these days he's always got at least one foreign student in the house. At the moment, he's got a young Japanese boy called Dieki, who is a very quiet and polite young man. What struck me about this visitor to our shores from a land far far away is how pretty he was, if a boy can be pretty this young student was, at least before he put on his milk bottle thick glasses! Such a sweet and gentle face, never before have I ever felt or thought of an oriental chap as attractive, but little Dieki, is, sweet and attractive, skinny as a string bean, like a twig, but sweet all the same. Shame his English is not good at the moment, however, I sure I could give him a lesson or two, but sadly he's young, just a mere 20, far too young for me I fear!

After taking a walk and a bus back from my brother's I wondered through the TV channels as one does when one has time without demands, and happened upon the start of a programme on BBC4 entitled 'Stephen Fry - 50 not out" all about Stephen Fry. Now, I'd bet you'd never had got that from the title, I've I hadn't have let the cat out of the bag! I like Mr Fry, I think he's amazingly talented, yet it was only the show tonight, or rather last night as I write this, that made me stop and think for just how long I've enjoyed his performance, his entertainment, his well, being. For example, I'd not really remembered that as a schoolboy I'd enjoyed the show 'A bit of Fry and Laurie' or a little afterwards 'Jeeves & Wooster' which I've enjoyed a second time thanks to the re-runs on UK Gold. Or even the wonderful films such as 'Peter's Friends' and the, enchanting, yes that word again, enchanting 'Wilde' that's the one about Oscar Wilde of course, mind you it probably goes without saying that I'd enjoy that movie, me being a poof and all. Anyway, it was a great bit of TV on the Beeb, a trip down memory lane, a complete potted career history of what is a wonderful man. I mean, during the show, there was various friends of his, such as Emma Thompson, Hugh Laurie and so on saying wonderful things about him, included among that collection of stars was HRH Prince Charles!

Anyway, after that programme finished, I felt compelled, nee desired to say thank you, now I very seldom do this, in fact I cant really remember a time when I have done this, but, without the fear of sounding again right nob head, I wrote him what can only truthfully be describe as a fan letter! OK, so it started off as a simple 'thank you' note for the years of entertainment he has given me, but after reviewing it, it's pretty much a fan letter. In fact yes it's a big fan, but I'm not ashamed of the fact that at my age I'm sending the odd fan letter! I mean, in these days when it's so easy to get criticised and put down, how nice is it it get a compliment and also, surely it's polite to thank someone when they've done you a good turn? In Stephen Fry's case, he's entertained me many many many times, he is what that business they call show is all about! So thank you from the bottom of my bottom Mr Fry!

X Factor, the TV talent show headed up my Angus' neighbours son, Simon Cowell makes it's fourth return visit to out telly screens this weekend, and already it's hitting the headlines! OK, so we are all awear of the Luise Walsh sacking and then re-instalment story which has gone on in the tabloid newspapers for the last few months. I for one think that was just a pre-show publicity stunt, to keep the show in the headlines and talked about while it was off air, but maybe I'm a cynic! This TV talent show is also in the news today because it's been suggested that the true queen of pop will make a one-off appearance on the prog, yes, Kylie is going to be on! Well her sis Dannii is on the judging panel and we all know the Minogues are a close family. There has also been claims that they 'staged; some of the shots about Louis coming back, but rather than this being and expose by the British Press, the show producers said it when they were doing the press launch, something about being upfront on the current media speculation of fake TV that has dogged other shows! Well done X Factor I say.

I don't know if you've managed to catch 'That Antony Cotton Show' on tea time telly with ermm Antony Cotton? Well, I know I'd say it was going to be a giggle, well sadly it's not quite hitting the spot, indeed it;s a bit of a damp mess. They've got this silly DJ person on it, which neither fits and is not funny, it's format is a pretty standard one and could work, but the show needs to move faster, have less of a studio audience and little Antony, who is a really nice guy, needs to stop trying too hard. It's like he's trying to be a master showman, when really what we want is a down to earth camp lad that he is when he;s on Corrie and what he was like in Queer As Folk, "Australian - very nice!" So Ant, please don't try too hard, relax a little and be yourself, after all it's you being you that we've tuned in to so, not you taking on the part of some TV presenter showman, oh and also drop the singing bit, unless you make it a gag and funny.

That is ya lot for today, I need to go to be pretty soon, but remember, what ever happened today, it will be tomorrows yesterday and we all know that's the past and we should live for today!

A level, Elvis & social networking!

2007-08-16T20:55:00.000+01:00

Congratulations to all those in England who got their A level results today, apparently it's been the best year ever with as many as 1 on 4 getting top marks, one of those 1's was my mate Jake! So well done Jakey baby, only the degree to work on now! I've always believed in the positive power of education, even if perhaps I don't excel at it, I can clearly see the benefits of proper education, after all knowledge is key, unless you happen to work for the same company that I do! Oops, I've promised not to mention work haven't I? Oh well!

It's 30 years since Elvis died, to make the occasion there has been a mass vigil at Gracelands with thousands of fans passing by 'The King's'' gravestone (complete with the miss spelt name!) Over here there has been various Elvis impersonators doing their thing up and down the country, one of which was a mass performance on BBC's the One show on BBC1, which I have to say was very good. Imagine if you will, 50 Elvis impersonators all dressed up and all singing the same song in their very best Elvis voices! Now that's entertainment I'm happy to pay my licence fee for!!

Hardly a week goes by these days without me getting an automated email informing me that I have a friend who wants to add me to their list of people classed as a 'friend' on various social networking sites. It seems we are being bombarded and persuaded to become more social on the net than were ever are in the flesh. I've been invited to join various friends on, Bebo, Myspace, Facebook, Faceparty, Ziopia, Fitlads and various other social networking groups and sites. OK, so I've joined a couple of them and have a growing list of 'Internet' friends - people who I've only ever met online, after all we live in a digital technological world. What's worrying about this trend to be social on line is twofold, firstly, all that personal information that is now places out there in the open of webspace, which is not always a good thing. And secondly, are we encouraging a more solitary life for the next generation, are we becoming a less social bread of humans, who are happy to socialise on the internet and less likely to socialise outside, in the real world.

I find it so hard to actually keep track of all the friends I've got on my Bebo, Myspace, Faceparty, Fitlads and other social networking sites, I mean can you really have a meaningful friendship with person number 75 on your friendship list. Maybe you can exchange an email or onsite instant message or three, but does that really count as friendship, I mean you can't borrow a tenner from them the week before payday can you! And what about the person that is number 184 on your Mysapce or Bebo or whichever social networking site you favor, do you know anything about them really? I doubt it, well, OK, perhaps that should be do you know anything about them that's not on their profile, which would be more correct. I have lots of 'Internet friends' on the various networking sites I subscribe to, yet only two of them bothered to wish me a happy birthday the other week, so is this growing list of people my friends, or just people I know (albeit not very well) or just really a collection of people, whose public face and persona I quite like and vice versa? I think it's probably the later, but perhaps it's still an ego boost when someone invites you to be their friend or asks for your friendship, OK so it's only online, and they have absolutely no interest in meeting you in the real world, but still, they wanna be your friend and that's always nice. So to all my Myspace, Bebo, Faceparty friends, I say hello, and ain't it about time you sent me a message!!!

There is also another danger of this type of networking, you just never know whose going to be reading what you put on your profile or page. Take for example the case of the house that was wrecked after the girl had a party, it was advertised on myspace, gatecrashed by thousands and left the girls parents picking up a bill for £20k to clear up and repair the once smart family home! Or the students from a certain university, who have been well and truly told off by the university faculty after they places photos of their social actives on Facebook. Or, perhaps it's a job or promotion your looking for, well maybe in that case it's better to leave your profile blank. A growing number of companies are doing online searches on perspective employees or those seeking promotion, for their suitability. Indeed there are companies out there (OK at the moment mainly in America) that specialise in online searches for companies looking in on staff's personal lives and potential employees suitability. Remember, what goes online, can be read, digested and spat out by virtually anyone. For example, when I started doing my blog, I never expected it to be read by people in Iran and Jordan for example, but it is! I never expected to have it inwardly digested by a regular reader from Vancouver, but every now and then I get emails from her (Yes it's a girl) making sure I'm OK, and asking for definitions on certain English words like, totty and strumpet! So what you put on your social networking site could and can be used against you, but what should you do, what should go up there? Well, someone once advised me that you should never put anything online that you would be embarrassed about saying in front of your mother! (If I'd taken that advice, then perhaps a quarter of this blog would never have been published!!)

Right, that's ya lot for now, more before the weeks out!

You cant give it away!

2007-08-15T17:34:00.000+01:00

The sun is shining down on Brighton this afternoon, unlike yesterday when it was tipping it down, there was even some thunder, great August weather - not! I'm on my four days off after a long and strange night shift, I have no plans this time off so I'm just gonna completely veg out, this is like me time. I'm just tottling along I guess, although right now, I'm having a mini mid life crisis! I feel I'm just wasting away my time, I know there is more to life and more I should be doing, although I'm not completely sure what it is I should be up to. I think perhaps it's about time I should be doing some writing, not like the blog, but propper story, fiction type writing, I love doing it, I love the whole creative aspect, it suits my solitary notions, it fills me with joy, I just don't seem to have enough time for it, which is a bit of a problem.

I've had a load of thoughts and creative kinda dreams just lately, you know ideas for stories, dittys, and even a play and a couple of screenplay ideas for telly. I really have no clue, how to go about that whole thing, but I know that I'm happiest when I'm writing. (Ok, I'm probably happiest when I'm having good sex, but you know what I mean!) So, I need to earn some decent money, so I can give up work for a while and set about finishing that novel and plotting that screenplay and let those creative juices flow.

The UK football season is now underway, and OK, so I'm a poof and I'm not what you would call a hardened footy fan, I still do have an interesting in the sport. Yeah, I know, it probably has something to do with 11 fit guys running around in shorts and getting all hot, sweaty and muddy more than this game itself, but hey, what do ya expect from a lil poofy lad like me? This year I've even surprised myself, I've loaded in a coupkle of teams in the fantasy football league game - http://www.dreamteamfc.com/ I've had to pick a couple of teams, from their list of players and we'll see how I do at the end of the season. I'f you're interested, I'll update you on my progress throughout the season, the top prize is a couple of hundred thousand pounds and a few other prized along the way, so you never know, I could be giving up work and becoming a writer on the back of such a macho sport as football. Mind you, I havn't really picked my players because of their football ability, I've gone for guys I like the look of, which probably isn't the way to win the competition, but hey how, at least my way was more fun!

Plus it give's me just a little excuse to put up some pics of the top totty footballers, like those on my dream team, just for the sake or.. errmm well... I like looking at them really!

There has been some very odd happenings going on in Japan, it's a mystery that's baffling the Police, spooking out residents and generally causing a bit of a stir to say the very least.

Yet, from what one hears, it's not a bad thing that's been going on, it's a good thing, at least it would be if it was happening to me! This is the mystery of money! Well, to be nmore accurate, it's the mystery sweeping over Japan over anonymous cash gifts has taken a new twist. Residents of a Tokyo apartment building are completely baffled after a total of 1.81 million yen (that's round about £7200) was found in 18 mailboxes by Saturday 28th July! The money was in identical plain envelopes, which were unsealed and just contained the cash, no letter, no words, just the notes!

But residents became "spooked" rather than pleased with the anonymous gifts, and were too upright to pocket the money secretly. "Some people initially suspected they were fake bills. When they realised the bills were real, they reported them to us," a Police spokesman said.

The predominantly middle-class apartment building in Tokyo is not alone. An envelope with one million yen was left in the mailbox of a 31-year-old woman in the western city of Kobe on Wednesday 25th July.

Police admit they dont have a clue, if it's one person, a group or even a really bizarre notion that Japan is witnessing a craze of copycat benevolence of the anonymous kind. Since June, dozens of city halls and other public buildings across the country have reported finding neatly packaged envelopes full of cash in men's toilets, however the bathroom money has come with identical letters asking people to do good deeds!

These Japanese cash drop offs are not always so neat and tidy, also on Wednesday, notes worth 960,000 yen were inexplicably seen "falling" in front of a convenience store. Again the Police don't have a Scooby Doo (clue) who dropped the money "We can just say the money came from the skies," a puzzled police official said. "There were other passers-by outside and customers in the store but the incident caused no confusion," he said, then added "People thought it was too eerie to touch."

The largest single dropoff so far was in the ancient city of Kyoto on July 23, astonishing a 67-year-old woman who found an envelope containing 10 million yen of neatly stacked notes in her mailbox.

Jap media tallies suggest more than four million yen, including some found last year, has been found in the public bogs and the like. With the police are holding most of the money in case the rightful owner eventually decides to reveal their identity. As most of the people who have found the cash are too upright to keep it.

So, there you go, proof that in some places in the world you cant even give cash away! It wouldn't be like that here, oh no, if I found someone had left me a big wedge of noyes in my mailbox, I'd be keeping that dosh. Wouldn't you?

Ok, that's ya lot, be good and remember, it nice to be appreciated but it more appreciated to be nice!

Sunny world and distant views!

2007-08-10T14:21:00.000+01:00

The south has been bathed in a blanket of warmness and sunny skies and little breeze over the past couple of days and it's been so nice to be off and be able to enjoy it for a change. Today I took a walk along St James Street, Upper St James street and through Kemp Town and then back along the prom, some times it's just so wonderful to watch the world pass by. I was so relaxed, no rush, just doodling and enjoying the stunningly hot weather. I love looking out to sea and walking along the prom is perfect for that, plus just once in a while you get to see some nice totty walking along. Ahh I love living in Brighton! Next time I take a walk, I'm going to take my camera and snap a few of the sights along the way.

I was shocked looking through the local newspaper yesterday, I was glancing at the property section and saw and ad for a little garage, just 20 feet long and 10 feet wide, in Hove for sale for £25,000! I guess I shouldn't really be surprised at the cost, when tiny 1 bedroomed sea front apartments are going for £390,000! I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to buy a decent sea front pad at these prices, not unless my numbers come up or I marry some hunky sexy rich handsome millionaire. And the changes of either of those happening are about 50 million to 1!

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse or Amy Wineglass as I tend to call her, has been admitted to rehab following her recent hospitalisation, according to various media reports. The 23-year-old was rushed to University College Hospital (UCLH) in London on Wednesday suffering from "severe exhaustion" according to her record company. But tabloids are hinting her illness may have been caused by drink and drugs instead, with the Daily Mirror claiming she checked into exclusive London clinic The Priory on Thursday to battle her demons. This is not the first time she's been to rehab and to be honest I don't think it's gonna be the last time either. She seems to have one of those addictive personalities that just need to have some kind of crutch. I'm going to see her this December with David down at the Brighton Centre, that is of course if she turns up and is not in rehab or pissed as a parrot in the gutter along St James Street or high as a kite flying above North Laines!

The things people do, I saw this on the net and found it kinda hard to believe, but apparently it's true. It was under the headline, "US man has thumb surgery to use iPhone" That's going a bit far, I thought to myself and read onwards. It's true, 28 year old Thomas Martel, from Bonnie Brae, was struggling to use the touchscreen keyboard on his iPhone so he did what any red-blooded gadget lover would do and got his thumb chopped about so he could use the device better. Apparently his thumb has been altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling." Basically, the thumb is slimmed down and shortened and made smaller. "From my old Treo (what?) , to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explained Martel in his local paper, "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." I doubt I'd have surgery just to use some new piece of electrical gadgetry, but is this now a case of things becoming too small to use? Or maybe he just had really fat thumbs!

OK, so just last week we had Brighton's gay pride, which was a wonderful exciting day, but if you are a red head, a ginger hair'd boy or girl, then there is one place you will definitely want to be later this month - The Ginger Festival! Oh my god, yes, there is one and if you are ginger or a red head you'll be offered free entry to a festival celebrating all things ginger. The National Botanic Garden of Wales claims the event on August 26 will be the country's first Ginger Family Festival. The day will celebrate the opening of the new Tropical House at the tourist attraction in Carmarthenshire, west Wales, which features many exotic examples of the Zingiberaceae plant family, also known as the ginger family. Gingers of the world unite!!!

I'm kinda used to the prices down here in the bar's of Brighton, Jake's mate Adam, who has been down for a few days bulked at the price of a pint in Legends at just over £3.40. Adam is a northern boy, pints of the same beer back in his home town are £2.10 which is a snip. Here in Brighton, the prices are the same, and sometimes just a little more expensive than London. I'm used to it, however, I wish I could go to a bar and spend, spend, spend like that businessman did in London the other day. Did you hear about that? This guy, A Middle Eastern businessman spent over £105,000 in a five-hour, champagne and vodka drinking spree in a London nightclub at the weekend. Crystal nightclub in London said the big spender entered Crystal at midnight on Saturday with friends, 9 women and 8 guys, first ordered a £24 bottle of white wine. But before long he was ordering magnums of Dom Perignon at £700 each and then called for a Methuselah, that's 8 bottles in one, of Cristal Champagne at £30,000 and the party spread. The festivities ended with a "night cap" consisting of a Methuselah of Belvedere vodka, which cost £1,400 "He basically just said, 'keep the drinks flowing,'" the club spokesman said. When the party left at 5 a.m., the bill was £81,471.50, which with tax and service added amounted to £105,805.28. A costly night out for sure, next time can I come!

We don't get them very often, but when we do, they tend to make the news, even if they are very mild, it's still exciting to know that Manchester has had another earthquake measuring 2.5 on the Richter scale. There were no reports of any injuries in the city, but experts said the impact was felt by a number of people across the city "We expect about eight earthquakes of this magnitude each year in the UK," a British Geological Survey spokesman said. The reason it has been felt by more people than usual is that it is quite shallow, about 5km, and it appears to be in a built-up area. It appears to be right in the centre of Manchester, the same location as a series of earthquakes in October 2002." Feel the earth move under my feet, sounds like a song to me, god, I can't remember the last time the earth moved for me.

Looking for a different holiday destination? Want something a little more unusual? How about a hotel with the best view in the universe? Well you'll have to wait until 2012 for it, but it could just be that place were very few have gone before. "Galactic Suite" the first hotel planned in space, expects to open for business in 2012 and would allow guests to travel around the world in 80 minutes. Its Barcelona-based architects say the space hotel will be the most expensive in the galaxy, costing $4 million for a three-day stay. Fancy going? How about a nice romantic long weekend away, during that time guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and use Velcro suits to crawl around their pod rooms by sticking themselves to the walls like Spiderman. Company director Xavier Claramunt says the three-bedroom boutique hotel's joined up pod structure, which makes it look like a model of molecules, was dictated by the fact that each pod room had to fit inside a rocket to be taken into space. "It's the bathrooms in zero gravity that are the biggest challenge," says Claramunt. "How to accommodate the more intimate activities of the guests is not easy."

When guests are not admiring the view from their portholes they will take part in scientific experiments on space travel. This far out Galactic Suite began as a hobby for former aerospace engineer Claramunt, until a space enthusiast decided to make the science fiction fantasy a reality by fronting most of the $3 billion needed to build the hotel. I'm packing my bag already!

Right that's ya lot for now, I'm going to have a little snooze before I have to go to work tonight for a full shift of four on. Oh what crap! Nope, I mean what fun don't I?

Clubbing with the girls!

2007-08-06T22:35:00.000+01:00

I don't remember what time I came home on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, but I know I had a good time. I rested a little bit, when for a walk and mouched down St James Street before I came home and rested again and then it was time of Mo, Nadine and Samantha to come round./ We were off clubbing down at the Volks nightclub, just along the parade from the Sea life centre. Mo's son, John, runs the night down in that little boxy club, so we headed down nice and early and well, clubbed at little bit till some time after 2!

It was rather nice to be clubbing with Mo, something we haven't done for a long time, she has this amazing amount of energy, just dancing all night, always moving and always having a laugh and a blast. The music was proper banging, really good and hard, which is what we both love, so it's always fun clubbing with Mo. She had her camera with her, which is always a bad sign because it means there's bound to be odd pictures of me in various states of intoxication! Sunday night was no exception as can be seen here in the following slide show. It starts off with Mo, Nadine, Sam and me at my place, then moving on up to the club!

Thanks ya lot for today, but before I pop off here's another tale from the mouth of the young!

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my mathhomework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OFWHICH, is four."!

Pride Piccies

2007-08-05T18:34:00.000+01:00

On the parade

Sea of people in Preston park

Cute line dancer (Rob was in there some place!)

Loads more Pride Pics (check Mo out!!)

Happy Pride! & It's a funny old world!

2007-08-04T21:00:00.000+01:00

Well, what can I say, it's been a few days since I last plopped a few words on the blog. Jo and Carolyn came down on Tuesday and let's just say a nice day was had, then a very eventful evening, which ended in the most mega row of epic proportions, the like of which I hope I never see again.

My birthday came and went and now I'm another year older, yes, I'm now facing the last couple of years of my thirties! Oh fuck, it's all down here from now on then! I mite as well be dead, for every poof knows that 40 in gay years is 80 and well past it! It's gay pride in Brighton today, an amazing celebration of diversity and spectacle. I watched the Parade with Angus and three of his lovely friends, one of which was over from Hong Kong! Then we walked up to Preston Park, which is where the biggest free festival Europe has ever seen takes place. The sun was burning down and I did feel a little frazzled as I sunk into my tinnies!

Jake was there as well as a few others, so met up with him for a little bit and had a boogy in the Wild Fruit tent. Then after chilling for a while with Angus it was homeward bound for me. So here I am, doing this while I'm waiting for some nosh to cook and then after that I'm heading down St James Street. The street at the bottom of my road has been closed for a bit of a street party, so no doubt there will be much drinking and merriment on the streets of Brighton. I'll take some piccies and share them with you next time. Oh and a full report of all the action, which I'm sure there will be plenty of!

It's a funny old world you know, there are so many different cultures, beliefs and customs that it sometimes boggles and confuses the mind. I mean there I was walking along St James Street here in good old Brighton the other morning and I thought how simply cosmopolitan the little world at the end of my road is, for example at the bottom of the street is an exotic grocer, selling all manor of things from all over the world. Then a little way up is a traditional continental Deli and further up is a Polish coffee shop, complete with Polish products and Polish signs.

It got me thinking as I perused the shelves of various pickled things, the like of which I would never in my wildest nightmares of dreamt of pickling, of how various nationalities have such different customs from one another. I mean, for example if your in Turkey, Brazil or even Germany, don't do the little OK sign with your thumb and forefinger in the shape of an 'o' to show you're fine, because in those countries it's a sign of well, lets just say an orifice of which you are most likely sitting on right now!

In most parts of Africa, including Morocco it's considered very rude to shake hands or eat with your left hand, because in their culture and history the left hand is used only for cleaning the above mentioned orifice! The thumbs up signal in Iran would get you in trouble, over there it has the same meaning as the finger! It's unacceptable in India for a woman to initiate a handshake, it's also considered rude if you clear your plate when invited as a guest to dinner. It means you're still hungry and your host hasn't fed you enough. Here in England a nod of the head means yes and shaking it left and right means no, it's the complete opposite in Bulgaria, Greece and former Yugoslav countries.

If you eat nosily and belch afterwards here in Blighty you're considered common and uncouth, yet in Japan slurping up ya noodles is a good sign as is belching after a meal in many Arab lands. It's all very confusing if you ask me, in some countries it's good form to offer a kiss, others it not, do point here and don't point there, it's a wonder we don't get in to more trouble when we're travelling overseas. Mind you, it's not hard to see how visitors get completely mystified when coming to England, after all we find it hard to comprehend each other half the time!

For example, my friend David has some pretty strange sayings that until he uttered them I'd never heard before and we come from the same country. Indulge me for a moment as I take you into David's world where some of these sayings and phrases are common place. The first indicating extreme tiredness "I could sleep on a chickens lip" and onwards "Might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb" another one that has my mind boggled "No need to spoil the ship for a h'peth of ta" or even this one - "If if's and and's were pot's and pan's they'd be no need for tinkers" But it's not just David I sometimes have difficulty understanding, at times when I'm on the phone to Si up in Newcastle, or James in Glasgow, I have to ask them to slow down their speech by half so I can understand them. With such a wide variety of regional accents in such a small country it's a wonder anyone from outside can understand us. But hey, that's gotta be changing, I mean, the most common last nights in England are Singh and Patel and the most popular dish - curry!

Sometime over the last weekend I read that TV Chef Antony Worral Thmpson has his fingers and his tongue insured for £500,000. That's a lot of money in any ones world, mind you I'm sure there are a lot of people, just like me that would club together to give him that amount of dosh to have his tongue cut out. He don't 'alf go on and on sometimes, but his food's not bad. I also read that David Beckham's legs are insured for £40 million, which is a little much I fear, surely his face earns him more than his legs do these days. It's strange the variety of things you have have insured, for example when I was working on radio and doing voices I had my on voice insured, after all it was my way of earning money. In those days it was good, if I had a cold and sore throat and couldn't work, I got paid for being sick more than I would have done if I'd have worked!

Right that's ya lot for now, just time to leave you with another last word from the mouth of babes. Young children say the funniest of things!

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

Always the sun!

2007-07-31T11:47:00.000+01:00

The sun shone brightly through my window this morning and for some reason a song was battling to come through from my dreams to my waking reality. I'd been dreaming of being a teenager again, walking through a field and then coming out at a cliff top looking out to the sea! I can clearly remember where this place is and I long to go back and be a teenager again and enjoy the wide eyed wonder of everything without the cynicism that comes with age!

"How many times have you woken up and preyed for the rain? How many times have seen the papers apportion the blame? Who gets to say, who gets the work and who gets to play!" were words repeatedly swirling around the inner recesses of my brain. Where they came from, I couldn't have said, only a soft slight voice and strumming guitars. Would those lyrics disappear along with the visions of my dream of clear blue skies looking out to see from the cliff top? Nope the would not, not even when Ocado came with my grocery shopping and a free bottle of wine!

Then suddenly like a lightening flash while I was showering, Always The Sun, darted into my somewhat bedraggled cranial mass. A fab 80's song from The Stranglers, at least I thought as I basked in the contented knowledge of recognition. It's a great song and I'm playing it right now, as I write this post to you, it's a dream like song and reminds me of times long passed. I love the power of music that hearing just a few bars of a lyric or two, can transport you back to those youthful days of yore. Oh how dull life would be without my music, without my memories. Anyway, as I've been dreaming about walking along that cliff top and hearing in my head (and now my speakers) Always the sun, I thought I'd share both with you.

Nope, this isn't me, this is Ed, he's an ex of mine, I loved him madly, or was I madly in love with him or was I and to love him? Whatever, he's pictured walking along between the field and the cliff top, it's such a beautiful place, always inspires creative thoughts and brings happy memories. I remember, holding hands walking along that cliff top with young Ed and thinking the world was perfect. Oh what foolish notions I had back then. Oh and Ed, yes I did love you like the stars up above!

Here's the Stranglers - Alway's The sun, there's a great line in there, "Who get's the job of pushing the knob!"

This is turning into a bit of a musical post today, the sun is so bright and the sky is a wonderful lighest shade of blue, mirrored by the sea that is having wonderful powers on my mental state. It's wonderful, how a little bit of nice weather can make the world seem a better place and people friendlier. Anyway, I thought I'd share another tune with you from that youngster Ben who I featured on the blog a little while ago. His name is Ben, he's a sweet English 20 year old with a very pleasing voice that I for one could listern to all day. Anyway, here he is again with another track, The Reefer Song!. (Oh and if there's any record producers, or A&R men out there, blast this passed your lug holes and email me!)

There ya go, another track from Ben, I can't wait for him to record another couple of track so that I can share them with you as his voice is amazing. I might have to do a recording of it and give it to Angus. Not that Angus is in the music biz, it's just he lives next door to Simon Cowells mum! He meet Simon the other day and said what a thoughly lovely chap!

Anyway, I must go now, as the girls have come down, yeah, Jo and Carolyn have come down for the night, although looking at the amount and size of bags they've got with them, you'd swear they are staying for the month! I'm not sure what we are going to do, but one thing is for sure, there will be alcohol involved! God help my liver and kidneys!

Sober, well at least for now!

The truth is out there?

2007-07-30T08:34:00.000+01:00

The truth is out there, unless you're in reality TV world that is. It seems like you can't turn the page of a newspaper or see a news bulletin these days without some fresh revelation of reality TV faking something for the small screen.

Reality TV is faked, OK, so some have had suspicions for some time that everything in the reality TV world is in fact reality, but these day's it's becoming more and more prevalent. Take the documentary, about the Beckham's going to America, we were treated to a behind the scenes look at Victoria's efforts to pave the way for their move to LA. But after the show was shown, it transpires that, a few of the 'real' people in the programme were in fact actors and actresses and whole sections of the show were in fact staged.

The BBC has been caught yet again faking bits on the antiques auction show 'Cash In The Attic'. In the episode in question a man was seen entering a bidding war during an auction for a iron door stop, this guy won after bidding got up to £600, for what was an item worth only about £50. Fool you may think, and it's it was true you'd be right, but, it's not, this guy, Bob Warman, who was seen bidding, was actually bidding on a different item at a different auction, his £600 went on an antique table and not a rusty old door stop. This comes on the back of the BBC admitting it has done a similar thing on another daytime TV prog, 'Flog it'.

Ramsey's kitchen nightmares has been accused a few times of faking scenes to make the show more interesting, Even the Queen is not immune from being a subject to chronological manipulation in the clip shown to the media by the BBC that appeared to show her storming out of a photo session in a huff. The scene of her walking out was actually Her Maj walking in. The BBC have had production staff pretending to be competition winners on various radio and telly shows, it's getting harder and harder to trust the BBC, once the World's most widespread, trusted and respected broadcaster, now well, I still trust them to entertain me, but I'll never believe a reality show is actually a reality!

Oh talking about the Queen, according to a royal biographer, there are only three people that can be put straight through to the Her Maj no matter where she is. The first is her granddaughter, Zara Phillips, the second is Prince William and whom is the third? One would expect it to be Prince Charles perhaps, but you'd be wrong, perhaps you're thinking it's Harry, but you'd also be way off the mark. Could it either of her children, Anne, Edward or Andrew? Nope it's not either of them. I bet you thinking it's gotta be the Prime Minister that gets put straight through to Her Maj, but that's even not correct. No, strange as this may see, the third and only other person to be put straight through to the Queen when they call wherever she is, is, John Warren, her horse racing manager!

I hear that Ben Ellis is going to star in the new Westend musical Hairspray, which is good news for the youngster who lost out to Lee Mead in Any Dream Will do reality show recently. Ben, is over the moon as you'd expect "This has been my dream!" bless him, he's kinda cute too and I thought he should have won Any Dream. But, alas he didn't, Lee Mead did, I wonder if that had something to do with the fact that the winner of this reality TV talent contest was already employed as part of the the chorus of the musical Joseph and was always an understudy for the role, before he won?

Camp actor and fellow Stonewall Equality walker, Antony Cotton has got himself a brand new chat show, which should be a bit of a giggle, especially if he's anything like his character of Alexander on Queer As Folk. Apparently he's going to keep on doing his role in Corrie as the gay barman, knicker stitcher Sean whose just impregnated a woman! I for one will be watching the first show with open eyes, is there any other way?

Our National Health Service is spending £1 million a week on 1 single drug it was revealed this week, which is a pretty hefty price tag. But, what is this drug they are spending so much dosh on? Is it a cure for cancer? Nope, A life saving treatment? Nope, it's Viagra! Yep they spend a million quid a week on giving people erections, now that's an upstanding job!

Right, that's ya lot for now!

Gossip tongue, trust no-one!

2007-07-29T20:41:00.000+01:00

It's been a very long four nights at work, yes I did go back to that metaphorical sweat box in which I am currently employed. I've thought about posting before now, but, well one can not be sure just whose going to be reading! That is in essents what this blog is about, to be read, once it's up and 'out there' on this interwebnet thingy, it is my viewpoint, my opinions, my thoughts, dreams and desires that is shared, and can be read by anyone, which is a joy and a freedom that is the very cornerstone of a democratic society, the freedom of speech. Even if it's being read by those that one least expects would be interested in my world, my life.

However, it's this 'freedom, that has very nearly got me in trouble, at least in the work aspect of my life. It would seem that there are certain gossips around that have taken a serious interest in stirring up feeling, miss-information and almost certain untruths. It all stems from the post about a 'loud mouthed' woman I put up a very posts ago, she read it in the middle of the night and made a comment, which was her view point, and was fine, cutting and perhaps a little hurtful, but none-the-less valid. Now, this lady, who by her own admission is ermm on the loud side, and I, who by my own admission can be a little over sensitive at times have talked, spoken and everything in the garden between us is rosy, it was all done and dusted ages ago.

However, apparently the poisonous gossips of this world tell a different story. A web of lies has been spun, gossip has been spread, phone call's have been made for one purpose and one purpose alone and that was to gossip! The result of which has been that 25% of traffic to this blog in one week has come from work! People, who've have never had anything to do with me before have read pages of information about me! Apparently seen rather senior managers looking into the blog, consulting with outside employment law consultants and industrial relations experts. A rather large amount of time and money has been spent by the company, I've been 'given advice' from a big boss, and all because of......one persons evil gossiping, the truth behind the gossip all completely lost in it's transgression upward and over. So, perhaps, to learn a lesson is not always believe what a gossiper is telling you!

Winds of change

2007-07-23T18:51:00.000+01:00

It's startling how different two days weather can be, today the rain is falling for a dark grey sky, the waves are high and rough and the wind is whistling trough the old sash windows of the lounge. Yesterday, all windows were open, a golden hot sun shone brightly from an unblemished blue sky, little wind was matched by a gentle lapping of the beach by the soft waves of a tranquil sea.

I am recovering from my recent illness, my stress and am starting to either cope of look forward to the next few days and weeks. Angus, the boy from the land of Scot, came round on Saturday and managed to talk me in to leaving the flat for the first time in 9 days. I must say, it was good to get out and have some freedom. We had what can only be described as a rather, nee very sedate evening out. Usually, we're doing a pub crawl, flitting from bar to bar, downing pint after pint and getting well and truly sloshed. Saturday however was more refined and slow, we went to Legends and that's where we stayed all evening. We chatted about everything and anything, from politics to his new found activity of scuba diving (a little of his blokey, the Robster, influence there me thinks!) It was refreshing, entertaining and delightful to be with Angus and to be out. Whilst I wasn't up to full strength, I did feel better than I had in days, the wind of change is stirring a little.

I've harped on about Global Climate Change and going green and being more energy efficient in the past, so I thought I'd find out what my own personal carbon footprint really is. There is a good website which helps you calculate how green you are - http://www.actionco2.direct.gov.uk/ By there calculations, my individual carbon footprint is just slightly larger than the national average. I produce a total of 5.07 tonnes of CO2 emissions per year, which is derived from 1.61 tonnes from heating, 1.51 tonnes from appliances and 1.94 tonnes from transport. My transport factor would be a lot greater if I had a car, but as I don't, the majority of my transport tonnage comes from flights, which is obviously a little less this year as I'm not going to New York now! What's your carbon footprint?

Because I've been unwell recently, I have plenty of time to flick through the TV channels during the odd times of the day and night. I'm surprised at the amount of strange shows there are dotted about our even expanding choice of channels. From the trail of a single $5 bill through a casino, to the practicalities of building with concrete! I've been enthralled, entertained and repulsed by various programmes, and sometimes I've found the adverts between the programmes are the best entertainment. In that vain, it's hats off to Sony's commercials for the Bravia tellys. Last July's advert, was an absolute marvel, sending 250,000 multi-coloured 'superballs' bouncing down the streets of San Francisco may seem the strangest way to advertise a telly, but that's exactly what Danish director Nicolai Fuglsig did for them. San Franciscans have seen some unusual things in their time, but even this gave them something to talk about. Plus the incredible visions were matched by a deeply movingly enchanting music track from Jose Gonzalez, called Heartbeats. It's a pure joy to watch and listen to.

This is the commercial, taken from YouTube, you can't see the incredible quality so well, but you can hear the great track and it gives you a real taste of what I'm jabbering on about!

Also advertising Sony's new TV's is another full colour explosion of an ad, which is bounding on our screens. Paint splattering all over a block of flats which as equally stunning, yet not as soft of as emotive as the first one, it is still a wonderful creation of commercialism cinematography.

I'm sure that the streets of Glasgow where the ad was filmed has never seen anything like that before or ever will again. Over 70,000 litres of special environmentally paint was used along with 622 bottle bombs, 330 meters of steel pipes, 455 mortars and 57kms of copper wire to create this iconic ad. Stunning, all to sell us a TV with exceptional colour 'like no other' it's classy, maybe not as calssy as those wonderous tellys from Bang & Olufsen, which are still number 1 in my book!

The wet weather has continued to cause havoc and destruction to some parts of the UK, with people not only homeless, but also without power and even in some places, food is being rationed as the destruction creeps further. In Gloucestershire the number of people to have lost water supplies is expected to reach 420,000, as the Severn and Thames rivers threaten to overflow. The new PM Gordon Brown toured the area by helicopter and has promised a review of the crisis, big wow there then from the most uncharasmatic of leaders ever. I do really feel for those families that have seen their homes flooded, their lives turned upside down by the ravages of nature. It must be a very distresing time for them, how do you cope with such a thing, I don't know, I suppose you just get on and deal with it, very little else you can do.

I hope it starts to clear up for those living in the flooded areas and they can get on with rebuilding their homes and their lives.

Oh and Tom, thank you for that snippet of news about the Homer and the guiat story, now that would have been a sight and I'm sure would have attracted more publicity and maybe less complaints.

Ok, that's ya lot for today. But, before I pop off, let me leave you with this little saying, coming from the mouth or a youngster,

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorma mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn offthe light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy.".

Harry's last stand!

2007-07-21T12:24:00.000+01:00

Harry makes his last stand? Unless you were on the moon yesterday I'm sure you couldn't escape the news hype media coverage of the release of the 7th and last Harry Potter book - Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows from JK Rowling! Top secrecy surrounded the release of this mega tome, the publishers apparently spent a cool £10 million keeping the story secret before it's official on sale time of a few seconds after mid-night last night/this morning. Book shops around the world have opened especially for this mammoth launch of this much eagerly awaited book and people have been queuing outside shops for days. Indeed outside London's Oxford Street branch of Waterstones, there were some brave soles or stupid twats, depending on your view point, that have been waiting outside for over 54 hours! Can you believe that, 54 hours, outside on the streets just to get your hands on a book! Now that's devotion for you, of complete hysterical madness, just to buy a book as early as you possibly could.

While hardened fans were bursting through the doors of shops up and down the country, the multi million selling author was reading the first chapter at the History Museum to a group of 500 lucky prize winners in the warm, she's not silly ya know. But what can we expect from this the latest and the last installment of the life of the boy wizard? Well, JK Rowling herself has confirmed that, one, possibly two much loved characters will end their days! There are some many thearys about what will happen and who will die, is this the end of Harry once and for all? Will Ron get the girl? Has Herminone headed off this mortal coil? Has Voldemort vanished? I'm not going to spoilt if for you, mainly because I don't know for sure, so I guess, if you wanna find out for yourself, you'll have to buy the book and wade through the 759 pages until you get to 'The End' to ever know for sure!

Without a doubt, JK Rowlings Harry Potter series of books has been the most amazing publishing successes of the passed decade, but it almost wasn't the case. It took a year for her agent to find someone that would publish her first book, many publishers turned the manuscript down, you can bet they kinda regret that decision now! Publishers very rarely seem to either read the opening of books sent to them or know a good thing when it lands on their desks. David Lassman sent of the opening chapters of three of Jane Austen's classics to 18 different publishing houses. He changed the names and locations slightly to see if anyone would notice. Nope they didn't, Penguin, which currently publishes Pride and Prejudice, which was one of the books Lassman sent off, responded that "First Impressions 'seems like a really original and interesting read'. But there was no request to see the rest of the book. There was only one, that spotted something a little fishy! Alex Bowler, assistant editor at Jonathan Cape publishers. His reply read: "I suggest you reach for your copy of Pride and Prejudice, which I'd guess lives in close proximity to your typewriter and make sure that your opening pages don't too closely mimic the book's opening. After all, there is such a thing as plagiarism." Interesting huh!

House, my favorite US drama series is up for two Emmys this year, one for Best Actor for Hugh Laurie and one for Outstanding Drama Series. I'm pleased about that, it's a great show, full of interesting facts and great performances and also gives me an excuse to put up a photo of the lovely Jesse Spencer who plays chase in the show!

England has been gripped by floods again after more torrential rain, a whole months worth in a few hours, and there is more on the way apparently. So this is summer, it's England, we should be used to so much rain, after all, the weather is one thing that we all complain about. It's a national obsession to bemoan the weather, but even to us moaners, it's still pretty devastating, especially in the north and in Wales. I'm so lucky I live on a hill!

Lucky eBay'er! Can you imagine the look of surprise on a teenagers face as he opened a package, that he thought was going to be the PlayStation Two he'd purchased on the auction site, eBay. Yes, it contained the console, but it also contained 65,400 euros, which is about £44,000! That's some tidy sum, sadly the money is currently being held by the Police while further investigations are made, but if the money goes unclaimed, then the boy and his family can claim the money, have to wait till September and see what happens. But the look on his face must have been priceless! How come things like that never happen to me?

It's sunny down here in Brighton, which is nice, although, I dont want to veture to far from the sofa and the bed. I've no longer got the trots, but I still feel low, lack energy and a body full of aches, so, to me it matters little what the weather outside is doing.

Fresh talent!

2007-07-19T20:39:00.000+01:00

This is night three of my four nights on, or at least it would be if I wasn't a sickie bunny, I've called in sick with cold, flu and the trots which isn't pleasant in the least. I'm sure it has something to do with the stress of the past shift and all that disciplinary stuff that has been going on. Oh and while we are on that subject, can I just say thank you to Tom of Worthing, Rich in Chicago, Grouse and Jerry for your supportive comments, they really do mean a lot, so I truly do thank you guys. I also want to apologise to a work colleague, who has rather taken exception and offence at what I wrote here on the blog in the 'Good cop, Bad cop' I never meant to cause offence to you or anyone. Maybe I was a little over sensitive, maybe if what had already happened that night, hadn't have happened then I wouldn't have been in the subdued and perhaps a little oversensitive as I was and things wouldn't have bothered me as much as they did. I wrote what I wrote because it was how I was feeling at the time.

Maybe, I should just stick clear of writing about work colleagues in future, but I think her reaction to my scribblings on the blog just go to highlight that there is always two sides to every story. Two sides, two truths, two reactions, two beliefs and sometimes two completely different opinions of what happened and how some little things shape the future. A lesson to learn to learn would be to constantly see things from the perspective of others, for that may not always see things the way you do!

How would you like to be sunning yourself on the island of Mauritius, staying at a four star Le Meridien resort? Sounds nice doesn't it, sounds even nicer if it you could have all this for free for a week. Well gang, you can, enter this compo and you may be enjoying those beaches and that lifestyle! visit: http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/comp/mauritius.asp

Still got the desire to enter another competition? Well, here ya go, here's another one that you may wish to visit the following site to win a wonderful weekend away, now who says reading this blog wont do anything for ya! Because if you win this one, you and your guest will be staying at this fantastic five-star hotel for two days and two nights, plus they will even give you first class rail travel http://www.firstgreatwestern.co.uk/Content.aspx?id=1470

I feel a little bit like Simon Cowell now, but I wanna introduce you to some new talent. I came across the following video on YouTube and thought the young guy was so good that I just had to share it with you. He's 20, his name is Ben and I hope you agree that he has a really great voice and is a talented young man, he's not bad looking either, so I would expect (and sincerely hope) that we'll be seeing a lot more of this young fella in the not too distant future.

It's a great cover of an old John Denver track This Old Guitar, which moved me the first couple of times I heard it. Ben's voice has such a sweet quality to it that it adds feeling and depth to the track. He's uploaded a couple of other tracks which go a little way to highlight his talents. I've sent him a couple of messages and asked for a couple of requests which I look forward to sharing with you when the young fella has time to record them.

Ok, that's ya lot for now, but before I pop off, he's another of those sayins from the mouths of babes.

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

She's so not Posh

2007-07-17T22:43:00.000+01:00

OK, hand's up here, I've never been a massive Spice fan, Spice Girls that is. The most useless one of the five to me was always Posh Spice, Victoria. She was so untalented that even in their first video she was only seen for about 20 seconds! Her solo records went down, ermm well actually they just went down! I always thought she was a bit of a waste of space, she was just a wag, but I may have been wrong! It's not often you hear me admit that I might have got things not quite correct, but hand's up, that's what I'm doing!

I've just watched the TV documentary on ITV about Posh in America and it was such a laugh, so comical I could hardly contain my giggles. That girl is so so not posh, she's a common as a little girl from Essex, but with the added bonus of a few million in the bank. She sounded very down to earth in places and down right common in others. "These shorts are going right up my crutch" Yes, she said that, it was so funny, there she was, in heels all the time as she tottered about house hunting for the move over to LA. It was an up close and personal 'follow around' kind of documentary and the camera crew spent a lot of time with them and by god it was funny. I take back pretty much everything I've ever said about her in the past, she's a cracker, a right funny girl. The only problem is, I have no idea what was intentional and what was not, to be honest, I don't think she did either. Great TV!

However, Great TV is not what American's are making of the show! It appears that our state side friends don't see much about Posh that is all that different from 100's of other rich wives! Oh well, never mind, with that ammount of money who really cares. And all this is before Becham himself has even kicked a ball for LA Galaxy!

There's a new giant in Dorset! Yes along side the historic Cerne Abbas giant in deepest darkest Dorset has appeared one of the biggest publicity stunts I've ever seen! The figure, representing Homer Simpson in his Y-fronts holding up a doughnut, is standing to the left of the chalk giant, whose big willy is said to increase fertility. The cartoon character was drawn on the hill slope to promote the new Simpson's movie, which will be released later this month. He was painted with water-based biodegradable paint that will wash away when it rains, hopefully. Oh and I can exclusively reveal, that in the film, there is full frontal nudity, Bart skates through Springfield in the nuddy and you actually get to see his doodle!

Could it be the start of the cold war again? It would seem that the British and the Russian governments are having a little spat at the moment. It all stems from the poisoning of an ex spy, Alexander Litvinenko died last November from a fatal dose of the radioactive isotope polonium 210. The murder has sparked a diplomatic rift with Russia. The Crown Prosecution Service named Andrei Lugovoy, a former KGB bodyguard of Mr Putin, as the chief suspect and demanded his extradition. Lugovoy denies murdering Mr Litvinenko and Russia have said there is no way Lugovoy will be extradited. So we expel 4 Rusiian diplomats/spy's and now, it's up to Russia, we have to wait to see what they are going to do? Could it be a cold war all over again, or is it just a storm in a teacup??

That's ya lot for today, well, OK, just another little funny from the mouths of babes!

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later..."Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Inter web thing

2007-07-17T14:36:00.000+01:00

Hello Jo, welcome t0 this interwebnet thingy! At last!!!!!

Do we talk a different language!

2007-07-15T14:27:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling in a rather retrospective mood today, it's a bright beautiful Sunday here in Brighton, England. I've done a bit of grocery shopping, I've had a little walk along the prom, looked out at the sea and wondered how high the water line will be when the global warming after the climate change takes it's toll.

Of course when I did my grocery shopping, I took my 'Bag For Life' with me to pack my goodies in for the short walk home. Bag For Life is what most of the major supermarkets are selling these days. You buy a bag for 10p or whatever, then reuse it, when it wears out, you take it to the supermarket and they give you a new one for free. It's not about money, it's about saving resources. It's a good idea, but as I was packing my shopping, I noticed that I was the only one using a Bag For Life! All those carrier bags, all that waste, it'll pretty much all get thrown into landfill refuse sites before not too long. And, I'm not even going to think about all the energy wasted in making the bags, transporting them to the supermarkets and all that! I mentioned this to Mo the other day, but she wont use the Bag For Life, because it's only 10p and she cant be bothered with the hassle!

Ok, she's very a different generation, although when I first moved down this way, she didn't recycle at all. But with a lot of careful and tactful persuasion, she's now a recycling queen. But it's has me thinking, it seem that I blame the previous generation for the state of our planet, but isn't that always the case. Every generation, blames the one before, it's almost like we talk a different language, the old don't understand the young and the young resent the old, I think it's always been the same, I remember my grandpa often saying 'The youth of today don't know they are born" when I was a kid and sometimes now, I find myself thinking similar thoughts when I see youngsters mucking about and generally being, well annoying to me, but having fun to them. We all take our lives so seriously, always trying to get a better job, make more money, buy a bigger house, go on more expensive holidays, that we sometimes forget that we are just tenants on this world. It doesn't belong to us anymore than it did the previous generation, or the one before that, or the one before that and that. It surely is our duty, to care for this place, the precious ball of wonder that is our home while we pass through it! Sometimes, with out busy lives, with everything going on around us at such a rapid pace, the greatest gift and pleasure we have, is just to stand still and look around once in a while.

I've been trying out my new 'nude flip flops' you know the ones with no flip and no flop! The topless ones, which are basically just a sole. They are kinda surprising and I'm not at all sure they are worth the £14 I paid for them. They feel a bit odd and strange, but I suppose that's only to be expected. They stick to the soles of your feet with this new sticky glue like substance, it's really most bizarre. when you touch it, it feels very sticky like putting your hands on treacle, yet pulling your fingers away the substance stays on the shoe. Well ok, you cant really call it a shoe, but you know what I mean. It was kinda hard to take them off and it tickles when you do, by the way. My feet were not sticky and I easily put them back to my feet and they stuck! Apparently you just need to wash them in warm soapy water every once in a while to make the stickiness stuff come back to full strength, I'll wait and see on that score. I think these are a bit of a novelty item, but I sure got plenty of attention as I walked down St James Street with them on!

Nude!

Now with feet!

Top celeb chef Gordon Ramsey was in town the other week, just down the road from me, He was filming another one of his kitchen nightmares shows at Ruby Tates, seafood restaurants on St James Street. One of my work collegues spotted him out side the small fishy eattery and another collegue was in there having dinner while filming was taking place. She said he was very nice and pleasent and friendly with hardly a swear word popping out of his mouth - most unlike him! I wonder if there will be any fake scenes in this show? It seems there is a bit of a reputation for fakery in Gordon's TV shows. He was accused of it a year or so back by the Evening Standadr news paper. He took them to court and won, then just recently, a guy in America is going to court over allagations that Ramsay faked bit's of his American show in the same vain. Now, it's come to light that there's been more fakery in another of his shows - The F Word, channel 4 have admitted that a scene of Gordon spear fishing, claiming to have speared a couple of seabass was indeed faked for the cameras. The fish were caught earlier by a local expert and Ramsay nabbed, in his words "Fuck all!"

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but itwas dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' in it's ear and it didn't move

More soon !

Good bye New York! Hello LA

2007-07-13T20:24:00.000+01:00

Well, here we are, I've had a pretty horrid time with the work aspect of my life this week, I psyched myself up for the second meeting of this whole disciplinary process for 8pm last night when I was told that I was going to have the meeting. I was told by my leader (bad cop) that she wasn't ready for me, that it would be a little while yet. Eventually we had the meeting at around 10pm. She informed me that it was a Stage One disciplinary, no more incentives (not that I have ever had any!) No more trips, so I can kiss goodbye the trip to New York later this month and the trip up to Hambleton Hall in September! No suspension though (well it would leave the team short staffed!)

I have the right to appeal the decision in writing, within 5 days, to the manager of the whole department, however, my manager doesn't recommend that. The last guy that did that, was hounded out of the company. Each time he appealed, he won, yet the very next day, they found another reason to invoke the procedure, he won on three appeals but after the forth it was all too much for him!

I don't know if I'm going to appeal yet, however, I'm going to raise a completely different complaint against the company on the way I have been treated. Fairly, not a bloody chance, so I'll give you more on that when I've done the complaint. Of course you do know that if I'd have been straight or a woman, then none of this would have happened.

Now, hey lets get on with some happy, non work related stuff, it's hello LA from the Beckhams! Oh yeap, the Beckhams made their very public arrival in the Californian sun and he new footballing home, LA Galaxy, opps, just like Beck's I've slipped up there! It's not football over there is it? Nope, they call it soccer, Beck's hasn't got used to that yet but am sure he will. Posh was there as well, playing Hollywood at it's own game and winning. But by god, doesn't she look slim and thin and below her supposed size zero. Ya know if you dont look too carefully, these days she's looking more and more like a 12 year old boy wearing false tits! She milked the limelight and the attention, by posing for the assembled mass ranks of photographers and Hollywood hacks for a good 5 mins. It was almost the same at LAX airport when they arrived stateside, this is obviously the Hollywood publicity machine working overtime and at full speed!

David, still looking good even at his age, OK, yeah yeah he's younger than me - just, but you know what I mean. For a football, strike that, soccer player, he's in the final couple of years of his playing life. But, hey having said that, he did wow the crowds in the last couple of times he's played for England, so who knows, there is still a lot of life left in that old dog. Although, how his new team mates react to him in the knowledge that he earns more in a week than they earn in a year is any ones guess.

It is kinda strange that one of the World's largest countries, isn't, up until now, been pretty much in the World's most played and popular sport! Maybe Becks will change all that, by the hype surrounding his arrival, he might just succeed.

Get ready for another round of Potter mania as the latest blockbuster movie in the series hits the big screens. SB, a friend from the other side of the puddle has always seen in and has loved the latest exploits of the boy wizard. SB and his movie going pals, all donned Harry Potter glasses to watch the screening, which must have been a sight in itself. I must admit I'm not a huge Potter fan, although I have liked each of the films, it's just I don't wet my nickers over them. Although, I did happen to see him, Harry Potter actor, Daniel Radcliffe running around naked on stage in the West End play Equus a few months back. Which could be describe as a little bit of fandom behaviour, I suppose, so I'll probably go see the movie.

Beck's and his Mrs are not the only Brits hopeing to make it big over that side of the Atlantic. Nope, Matt Lucas and David Walliams are to make a US version of Little Britain, it was announced today! The pair have landed their own show on TV channel HBO. The series will feature a mix of brand new characters and Little Britain favourites - although American audiences might find themselves completely gobsmacked "yeah but no but yeah but know but yeah" teenager Vicky Pollard and "I am the only gay in the village" Daffyd. David (knobhead) Walliams said: "The new series will be a sketch show set in contemporary America. "We are taking some existing characters and writing new material for them, as well as introducing new characters and ideas. " We're very keen to take Little Britain to as wide an audience as possible, so we're looking forward to working in the States."

Finally, something to make you smile, a friend emailed me and advertisement regarding a new product from McDonald's! Hummmm I wonder!

Good cop, bad cop, fair cop?

2007-07-12T08:44:00.000+01:00

What a night! Phew I have to say it's been one of the most horrid nights of my working life! Clearing up after a vomiting dog with diarrhea wasn't even this bad! Breaking my leg dancing on stage on a cruise ship was a piece of cake compared to the night I've just experienced!

First of all I had my disciplinary meeting at 8pm as soon as I walked in the building. I faced two managers across the desk of a windowless cell, oops I mean office. They were obviously doing there best good cop / bad cop routine, and do it well, they did. I wouldn't have minded if I'd done something hideous, been guilty of some heinous crime, sold trade secrets, lost the company thousands or sworn at a customer. Nope, my crime and the reason for this disciplinary, was to fail to offer to call a hotel for a client, not refuse to do it, just not offer to do it. Did the client complain? Nope. Was he unhappy? Nope Did I lie? Nope. But apparently that's beside the point and not relevant!

At the end of this disciplinary meeting I was told by the 'Bad Cop' that they were now going to take 24 hours to consider the next course of action the company will take against me. It could be a letter of concern, or it could be a stage one, which is a suspension, withdrawal of any incentives and trips (goodbye New York) or a stage two, which is the sack!

Now, if it's a stage two, that means I cant be trusted to do the job, and if it's that case, then why am I trusted to do the job for the 24 hours between the meeting and the decision being made and notified to me. Well, I'll give you a clue, the office would have been short staffed!!

As I'm sure you can imagine, I was in a rather subdued mood for the rest of my night, however, I was professional and kept myself to myself and did my work. All was well until one of my work colleagues, asked for help and called me over. While I was giving the said help and advising her what needed to be done, on what actually is and has always been part of her job, she proceeded to shout at me! OK, now this lady is a bit on the loud side, I can always cope with that, I take it in good humour. What really got my back up, is when she did exactly the same less that thirty minutes later!

Did I bite back? Nope, I'm good like that, I can't stand arguments or bad feeling, so I kept me trap shut. About an hour later, this woman starts up a conversation with another work colleague about the virtues of a specialist restaurant in London called St John. She delighted in going over board on descriptions of items on the menu with graphic detail at a fraction off shouting volume. You may think that isn't bad, however let me give you some of those dishes on the menu, rolled pig spleen, bone marrow and parsley salad, pig brain omelet, chitterlings and widgeon. Now she knows I'm a vegetarian, my other work colleagues informed her that they were feeling rather sick with the gab about pig and cow innards, yet go on? She did. I have to say it turned my stomach! Was she doing this on purpose , I couldn't possibly say, but walking out of that building this morning, made me wish I didn't have to work for a living anymore! There's gotta be more to life than this!

Oh well, I've got to sleep now, before I go in to work for to night, possibly for the very last time, well it will be if it's a stage two!

Thanks to Tom and Jerry for your kind words, if it goes to a stage two, then you'll hear about the homophobic attitude of a very well known company that's whole business is built on it's reputation, so too will the readership of a national magazine, whose features editor is a personal friend!

No Man's Land!

2007-07-11T08:11:00.000+01:00

Well, night two of four has been completed, without a major hitch, huddle or other hullabaloo and I'm glad that's over with. I have yet to have my disciplinary, I had a call while I was dozing before my shirt on Monday, to say that the company procedure stipulates that I have to have written notification of such a procedure at least 2 days prior to it, so therefore I couldn't have it on Monday as I only got the letter then and now I have to have it today. So at 8pm this evening I'm having the hearing and then I'll find what fate befalls me.

Forgetting about work for a moment, I hear that the Madge movie, Desperately Seeking Susan is going to be a West End musical with the title of Blondie. I know for a fact that my work colleague David will be one of the first to go and see it. He's a bit of a Madge fan, so I'll hear more details every step of the way. He's also a bit of a Spice Girls fan, he's registered and had me register for tickets for their reunion tour at the end of the year. But, not only that, he's also been in touch with a good ticket tout in the States to see if they can get tickets for the gig. This is all before we know exactly how much the tickets will be, when they go on sale and all the other details needed to make a decision. So, I guess, yes, you could say he's a fan of girl power!

Did you hear about the bride who got arrested on her wedding day? It's true, this woman got arrested and fined on her wedding day for stabbing someone with her stiletto shoe. But whom did she attack? The groom of course! Wonderful start to wedded bliss, I don't think!

Fancy a new home with a view and no noisy neighbours? I've got just the place for you, it's on sale today and is miles and miles away for your nearest Neighbours. This property benefits for stunning sea views, is luxurious appointed and was once used for filming of Dr Who. Nope, I'm not re-training for a career as an estate agent, but I heard this property was up for grabs and wanted to take a look, but I've found it's way outside my price range. I'm talking about No Man's Land Fort which has gone on sale today, No Man's Land Fort is in the Solent near Portsmouth, hence the great sea views! It was was built way back in the 1860s, long before my time (Although David might remember it!) It was designed to fight off an invasion by France, which was a big thing in those days, don't want the Frenchies to take over us 'roast beef'!

In October 1971, its exterior featured in an episode of Doctor Who called The Sea Devils with actor Jon Pertwee. The fort - converted into a hotel - has hospitality suites, helipads, an indoor swimming pool, a gym and a roof garden and sounds absolutely wonderful. I'd love to live there, you'd all be welcome to come and visit if you wanted, although I'm pretty sure it doesn't have an Internet broadband connection as it's a few miles out to sea, and it's a bit of a trek to pop to the local shops and finally I'm pretty sure the local pizza, Chinese, Indian and Thai wont deliver!

So do you fancy coming in with me to buy this Fort? They estimate it will cost a cool £3.5 million - small change then!"

Well, I'm off for a snooze, more soon. Oh and thanks Tom for your comments, musch appreciated. Oh and actually, I just have to say a big hello to Will, a funky dudester from Crawley and another star spotter or do I mean stalker? Here is Will doing a bit of stalking, errm I mean spotting!

Live Earth, on ya bike!

2007-07-07T21:49:00.000+01:00

Well bugger me with a barge pole, the world hasn't got together like this for ages, it's been a global event and a bloody successful one at that. The global Live Earth concerts all around the world have hopefully raised so much awareness of the global tragedy that may very befall each and every single one of us. Global climate change. I'm not going to go in to the scientific whys, wherefores, reasons, observations and what-not's here, mainly because I don't know them all and this is a fun blog of my life and not a science journal. But one thing is clear, we can all do our bit to help protect this fragile ball we all live on. Yes, you, me, David, Jakey, Sam, Mo, Angus, Tom, Simon, Jo, Carolyn, Rufus, Donovan, Pete, Chris, Claire, Runi, Tippy, Dan, Nyree, Rachael, David, Ed, the boys in the bar, the lovely lesbians, the cute bar man, the funky shop assistant and the old woman who lives down the roan and the right moaners next door - the time is now to do our bit! We have to help prevent the very exsticntion of our own very existence!

Switch to energy saving light bulbs, turn off appliances when not in use, don't leave TV's and videos on stand-by, do full loads in washing machines, recycle everything that can be recycled, use bikes or walk when you can, car share, whatever you do, think about the planet you live on before you do it. Do you really need your two litre car to go and fetch a litre of milk? Does that light need to be on? Can you turn the washing machine tempiture down? Our land is most precious, and lets face it they are not making any more of it. OK, so I think I've got the message across!

The concert was a blast today, watched it on the BBC and surely wished I'd got myself a ticket as it looks an amazing day and night. So many great names in the music and entertainment world got together to bang the drum to save energy. Pussy Cat Dolls, Spinal Tap, Duran Duran, The Beastie Boys, Genesis, James Blunt, Matallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow Patrol were some of the people at the London in Wembley.

It was an amazing gig, I really enjoyed what I've seen and I have to take my hat off to the closing act, Madonna, she was fucking amazing. 100% superstar giving a superstar performance. I loved the introduction that Sir Terrance Stamp did, when all the lights in Wembley went out, it was an amazing sight, very poetic and strangely beautiful. Then Madge took the spotlight and rocked the city!

But it wasn't just here that the star's sang and the music played to save the world, no, first up was Sydney at 1am our time, where a reformed New Zealand group Crowded House, who were joined by many of the other Sydney performers at the end of their set, for a rendition of the 1991 hit Weather with You. A couple of hours later, Tokyo took on the concert fever. Among the performers in Tokyo was the fab US group Linkin Park, who rocked and rolled. " I don't have any delusions of grandeur that Linkin Park is saving the world," their bassist, Phoenix told the BBC News, "But it's our goal to do what we can to make it possible for our kids to have a place to live, and, at the same time, hopefully clean up where we live in the process."

The music continued in South Africa when the Johannesburg concert kicked off at around 11 GMT. Then there was concerts in Shanghai, Hamburg, London, Washington, New York and finishing this world wide event will be the show in Rio. In musical terms it's been a major triumph, but in the awareness of climate change and protecting the earth, has it done any good? I guess we'll have to wait to find that one out!

Another strange sight in London today was the start of a very famous cycle race, the Tour De France! Yep, the first stage of this mammoth cycle race started here in good old England's capital city for the very first time. I saw some of the coverage on telly earlier and it looked a very impressive sight. To me it felt like it was a symbol that, whilst we've been linked so much with America recently - Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq and all that, we're still closer to, and part of Europe, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

Beckham's good for business and may just prove he's worth the £128 million LA Galaxy are going to be paying him. His former club, Real Madrid have revealed that the super soccer playing hunksome Becks has earned the club just under £300 million in the four years he's been there. The club reportedly sold one million shirts within the first six months of Beckham's arrival and the money continued to roll in over the course of his contract at the Bernabeu.

"In four years that Beckham played in Madrid we have generated more than €440 million (£298.2m) in marketing and commercial activities," said club marketing director Jose Sanchez. That kinda makes him a very valuable person in terms of revenue generation. Will he still be such a draw in a country where football is known as soccer and is about as popular as an ice cube at the North Pole?

Right, I've taken up more than enough of your time today, go save some energy, be good and look after yourself. Come back soon and help keep me company!

Pub lunch

2007-07-07T14:51:00.000+01:00

It's been a wonderfully warm day in Brighton, I enjoyed a lovely pub lunch with Mo, who is as brown as anything from her holiday and her lovely new foster child, called Samantha.

It was so nice to see her and meet her new girl, nice meal, a drink and then they came back to little Shaw Towers, where they posed for this little piccie. If you're wondering what they've got in their mits, they are holding the new Sex And The Sea Front postcard. Was so nice to have them over, Sam's hair is soo long and lovely and I wish I had it, ya never know, she may just give it to me!

More life in the city!

2007-07-05T22:52:00.000+01:00

Hey, it's the first night off for me and boy am I glad, it's been a bugger of a shift, it started well and then got stedily worse. Ended up with me doing a crap call and being told that when I go back to work in four nights time that I have to go to a discipliary. Mind you, I'm not surprised, it was a pretty shit call, but more so, the manager has got it in for me, I think she has a thing about gay guys and not in a good way! More on that next week, after they give me a disciplinary, whatever that may be!

But folks the hot news of the day could be that there is more life in the city! Yep, it's been reported by various news agencies that the girls are getting back together. Nope, I'm not harping on about the Spice Girls reunion tour, I'm on an altogether different plane, I'm talking of the reverlation that Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all signed up to reprise their roles for a movie version of Sex And The City!

This is obviously good news for me as a bit of a fan of the said show, well come on, where do you thik I came up with the name for this blog! Oh you thought it was all about me playing hide the saussage on the prom did you?

According to the news, long time series executive producer Michael Patrick King will direct the film from his own script and serve as producer, along with Parker and series creator Darren Star. Obviously there is no release date has been set, the film presumably would arrive on our cinema screens sometime next year.

This is not new though, plans for a film were first revealed by HBO, the makers of the show, in early 2004, a few months before the show ended its six-season run. But the project stalled, according to show business newspaper Daily Variety, when Cattrall sought greater script control and a salary closer to that of Parker, who was more highly paid than her co-stars because she was a co-executive producer of the series.

There was always gossip that Cattrall and SJP used to hate each other and row all the time, but, they have both publicly siad thats not the case. Sure they had the odd argument, but, when you work with someone for that long, then it's not suprising.

The New Line Cinema spokesman said it was not immediately clear whether any supporting cast members, such as Chris Noth, would join the film. But it's hoped that the full supporting cast would be back for the movie.

For those that have been living on Mars for the last 8 years, Sex And The City was based on the work of best-selling author Candace Bushnell, which came from a column in The New Yorker magazie. It was a mega show and was the first cable series to win an Emmy for best comedy and starred Sarah Jessica Parker as a fashion-conscious New York columnist who writes about Manhattan's dating scene and the lives of her best friends.

The show worked on many levels and I think that if we hadn't had Sex And The City, then you would not have had the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada' I'm so glad that SATC is coming back with the 4 origionals, it just wouldn't have been the same with a fake Samantha or a plastic Miranda of a different Charlotte. I'll keep you dated up on the progress of the moive, it's the least I can do as a fan of the show!

Now, for something a little differen!

I've had this video on my pc for ages, and it's on YouTude and well here you are. It's a great, although short country song called Today's the day by Rodney Carrington! Enjoy!

Here's another classic Rodney Carrington country song, called Dear Penis, it's a great giggle, but don't worry, it's on YOu Tube, so it cant be that rude! Oh, in this video Rodney doesn't appear, just a couple of cute fans!

Now why doesn't Kenny Rogers do songs like that!

Are you old enough?

2007-07-04T09:13:00.000+01:00

There are some days when things go right and then there are some days when you just wish you'd never even poked your head over the covers and faced the day head on. Ok, so In my case it's the night, but you know exactly whay I mean. Why is it that on some days, one thing goes wrong early on and then the rest of the day just follows the same format. I've had a bitch of a night, filled with the most arrogant people you could possibly ever hope never to meet. A few problems along the way to hell, which make me wonder why I do that job, but then having four days off after four nights on and the payslip at the end of the month give me the courage or could that be stupidity to carry on. Do you get the message I've had a bad day!

However, on the good news side of things, it's the 4th of July, so happy independance day to all my American friends. I hope you day is filled with happiness and joy, as for me, as soon as I've done this, I'm off to bed. I have one more night to work of this shift and then I have four off, so freedom is just around the corner.

How old are you?

There are so many age restrictions these days, 18 to vote yet only 16 to join the army, fight and die for the country you're not allowed to vote in. 16 to buy cigarettes, 18 or 21 to get into some clubs, 18 to go on an 18-30's holiday, 65 to get a bus pass, 18 to buy alcohol, 16 to have sex and 17 to read this blog! Yep, I kid you not, there is an age limit to blogs now! I say this on David's blog the other day and thought it was about time I checked out what my rating was. Needless to say I was a little surprised to learn that apparently, you should be at least 17 years of age to read on. So if you are under that age perhaps you'd better go ask a responsible adult if you're allowed to go further into my dark recesses of my world. Or, perhaps like me, you'll say bollocks and read on anyway. (Just like you do with porn!!)

Talking about age, as we were, Kids can, and often do, say the funniest of things without even realising it. For example one of the girls at work told how her little 8 year old daughter was playing shops and had drawn a loaf of bread, a packet of crisps and a can of coke. Now as every child knows, grown ups can not be trusted to get things right in world of imagination, so this little girl had written on each picture just to make sure her dad could play along. On the bread she wrote 'bread' on the crisps she wrote 'crisps' on the can of coke she wrote 'cock' (Actually thinking about it, perhaps you do have to be 17 to read this blog!)

Here are some more examples how our adults of tomorrow can get a little muddled with words. These answers were taken from real test papers from a catholic school's bible studies class. You don't have to be religious, catholic or know your bible to find these slightly amusing.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUN JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

As I say, kids say the funniest of things! I hope that has made you smile, come back for more or me and my life soon. It's gonna get better! More soon!

Happy Birthday Diana

2007-07-01T17:33:00.000+01:00

Today would have been the 46th Birthday of the late, Diana, Princess of Wales, and 10 years ago this August, she died in that horrible Paris car crash. To mark her birthday, her son's Princes William and Harry put on a wonderul concert at Wembley. Broadcast live on TV to over 140 countries, around 50 million households, that's some audience!

What I liked about the coverage I've seen here on the BBC is the special reports of Diana's work with different charities, causes and groups, which were also played at the stadium, just went to prove what a warm and wonderful human being the world lost 10 years ago. Some were moving, some were funny and as Prince William said on stage "This evening is about all that our mother loved in life - music, dance, her charities and her family and friends," Meanwhile Prince Harry paid tribute to fellow soldiers currently serving in Iraq.

The six-hour show, opened with Elton John and will apparently finish with him doing 'Candle in the wind' by special request of the two princes. You may remember, that at her funeral, Elton changed the words of the song especially for Diana and after he sang it at the Abby vowed never to sing it again. I hope he sings it again, it was a moving number and a fitting tribute to end those mammoth birthday celebration.

Another thing that has been so surprisingly good about this concert, is the variety of acts performing, Sir Elton John, Duran Duran (who sounded really really crap!) Lilly Allen, The Feeling (who were bloody great) Take That, Tom Jones, Status Quo, Will Young, The English National Ballet and loads of others. I mean seeing Swan Lake on a stage at a pop concert in front of 63,000 fans in the stadium and broadcast to millions more has got to be a first, it was truly amazing and those dancers got a standing ovation - pure magic

There were many stars and celebs introducing acts or films of the late princess, including, Keifer Sutherland, Dennis Hopper and Simon Cowell. Simon even loved the show which was pretty strange and gave the princes praise for putting on such a great gig - yes Simon Cowell being nice for a change!

The BBC did a very good job, well from what I've seen so far today, of televising the event. It was good to see they had a camera on the royal box, to see, unobtrusive, shots of the two young men enjoying the show. All in all, so far, it's been a very good and very fitting tribute to the late Princess.

Lucky escape for London & Glasgow

2007-06-30T16:39:00.000+01:00

Under Attack?

It would seem that there has been a Lucky escape from death and destruction in London, as two car bombs fail to go off. Both cars were Mercedes, the first parked outside The Tiger Tiger nightclub in The Haymarket in London's main theatre land. The second in a Park Lane car pound, both were packed with petrol, nails and according to the Police, explosive devices, possibly to be set off remotely by mobile phones. The first car was spotted by paramedics, who noticed smoke coming from the back of the car while they were attending another incident. The second car was noticed by a vigilant traffic warden.

It would seem that the capital has had a very luck escape, as both of these suspect car bombs would have caused serious injury and possible death to anyone close by when they exploded. And, even as I sat down to write this, there has been an incident at Glasgow Airport. It seems a Jeep has been driven into the front of the main terminal building, either on fire, or exploded on impact. Obviously as this is happening now, details are very confused, various different people at the scene are telling different stories. However from all accounts, this does not look to be an accident. 4 People have already been arrested, people say that the two inhabitants of the jeep were at time time trying to throw petrol around as they got out the car, which would mean this is another terrorist attack.

The first pictures on BBC News 24 do look rather scary and show the jeep pointing into the terminal on fire from the front of the vehicle. I think this third car bomb, as this undoubtedly immediately seems at the moment, is a clear indication that we should all be extra vigilant as we seem to be under a terrorists attack from car bombs, although no group has, as yet claimed responsibility.

The Police have said they had no warnings and there was no intelligence that an attack on London was imminent, although according to an American TV station, a warning was put on an Islamic website the night before the car was found in the Haymarket. Thanks for the warning guys! I'm sure we are now facing a specific campaign of car bombs and the like in the UK, I mean three in two days is way more than a coincidents, and I do believe we can almost certainly expect more to come this summer. So, keep ya eyes open and ya wits about you, without being melodramatic, lives could depend upon it.

When I came on to do this post, it was going to be a happy one, with jokes and giggles, but real time events seem to have taken over somewhat, sorry. However, lets not let the terrorists win and resume normal service! Yeah?

So on Thursday the Spice Girls announced they were indeed getting back together and doing a world tour. It's a massive tour as well, of course I'm being just a tad sarcastic, it's 10 dates long, which is not mammoth or massive, but for die hard fans it';s great news. The only way to get tickets so far is to register on the girls website, which would seem a reasonable way. No ticket prices have been announced, but you can bet it's not going to be cheap, I'm guessing £50 upwards, but who can say. I've already registered on the website, for London, New York, LA and Sydney, mainly because I've been requested, Ne ordered, by my friend, work colleague and massive Spicey fan David. So ya never know, we may get lucky, although I have no holiday left to book even if I do get through this round of ticket allocation. I suppose clever use of lieu hour's will come into play!

Flip flops that don't flip or flop have gone on sale, these clever little things don't have any straps and stay on your feet by a special kind of glue apparently. They look strange, just soles on feet, but they sure will stop that tell tale tan line that appears in the feet at the end of the summer. I'm not sure if they are any good, if they work or how they feel, but I'll let you know with a full report later on, because yes, proving once again a fool and his money are easily parted, as I've ordered myself a pair. Well, come on, it's a must for a retail junkie like me, but for flip flops they ain't cheap - £12.50 plus postage. But of course they are the first flip flops without the flip or the flop.

I've never met Paris Hilton, she may be a nice person, she may be a worthwhile person, she may give lots of pleasure to millions, she may very well not be a publicity seeking media slut with all the morals of a gutter rat, but I'm so sick of hearing about this girls whose only famous for ermm being famous. She did something wrong and had to go to prison big wow, and then let out and sent back and they got out after just half the given term. So flaming what, this isn't news, at least that's what news presenter Mika Brzezinski on MSNBC's Morning Joe programme thought. She got her script live on TV and refused to read it on each of her bulletins on live TV, she screwed it up, tried to Set fire to it and then shreds it! Good for her I say!!

Despite the car bomb alerts yesterday and the rain today, thousands still marched through London's streets today for the Pride March annual event. There was a rally and live entertainment in Trafalgar Square for those that braved the downpours and security worries. I hope it wasn't too cold for them and I'm sure hoping for much better weather for Brighton Pride this coming August, I'm sure it will be fun, hopefully in the sun, although this year, unlike last, I plan on staying the right side of sober!

Right that's it for today, stay safe friends!

Street people and 44? is that all!

2007-06-27T20:08:00.000+01:00

I'm glad the rain and floods are easing up that have reduced the northern parts for the country to chaos, the pictures where pretty savage, yet we down here in good old Brighton have seen nothing of the torrential rain and flash floods.

Mind you, you can tell we coming into the summer season, there are more beggars on the streets! I'm sure homeless folk from all around come down to the seaside in the summer to harress more money out of us locals and the hoards of outa-towners that fill our streets. I popped down to the local supermarket on St James Street a little while ago and got accosted by not 1, not 2 but 3 big issue sellers! It's not a long road, 5 mins walk and that's about it, but 3 bods selling the homeless mag, but not one of them was the regular guy who usually stands on the corner saying hello to everyone! But that's not all, to random people asked me for change and one young lad, I doubt he was a day over 16, accosted me with "I'll show you me dick for a fiver!" Needless to say, I said no thank you, walked on to get my supplies, kids these days huh? Live is changing fast, when I was his age I'd have never asked that of a bloke older enough to be my father (just) Nope, I'd have probably asked him to get me a bottle of cider from the local offy!!

So, today was Tony Blair's last morning as our PM and now Gordon Brown is in charge of the country, wonder what he'll be like? Tony did a speach to a packed house in the commons, then saw the queen and then it was off to Sedgefield where he was and MP.Tony is having a couple of days off apparently before he takes up a new role as a special middle east envoy for a quartet or power. He'll be working for US, UN, Eu and Russia out of offices based in Jerusalem! Well at least he'll be able to work in his tan!

The Berkeley hotel, where I stayed on my recent trip up to town paid host to Mr George Michael the other day to celebrate his 44th birthday! It was by all accounts a major even and a bit of a top shindig. I wonder if my invite got lost in the post? I was a little surprised, I thought he wa a few years older than that? Not that he looks it, it's just he seems to have been around every since I was a cropped 'choose life' t-shirt wearing teenboy! There was loads of celebs there, Matt Lucus, David Walliams - I cant stand that man as himself, great in Little Brit, but as himself he's a complete knob! My old muckers Rich and Judy were there and I must admit, Judy did look a little worse for wear upon leaving! Geri was there as well to help our fav Greek celebrate his special day! If you wanna see some pics of the event, click the title above!

Oh, it's also another really important birthday this very day and I for one, don't think how I'd come without it. I mean I use it on a regular basis and doing my odd working hours, it's pretty much a lifeline. What am I babbling on about? What special thing is 40 years old today? There's over 60,000 on our streets today, but what is it? Need another clue? The first one appeared in Enfield in 1967, worldwide there is about 1.64 million and there is even one at the McMurdo station at the South Pole! It is the humble cash machine. Yep it's 40 years old today! Amazing!

We can expect more rain over the next two weeks, that much I'm sure of, nope I've not suddenly become a weatherman, but the Wimbledon tennis championships is on and it always rains for that! The top bod that all English hopes are on is Tim Henman yet again, oh well, maybe next year then!

Ohh, one hears that little ex Eastender turned singer, Martine McCutcheon is coming back on our telly screens along side Jason Donovan in a new TV prog, That's right, the former soap stars have signed up to star in ITV1's Echo Beach, mind you this is according to The Sun, so it may be complete bollocks after all. But anyway I welcome the news, I'm a huge fan of both! I can hardly believe it's nearly 9 years ago that she left the Enders and as for Jase, well a couple of reality shows, a few pop tours and tours of other less well known drug infested areas since leaving Neighbours in 1989!

Thats ya lot for now peeps, but before I pop off, I have to say, your welcome Donovan, glad you got to church on time, I'll see you again sometime. Angus, you are welcome as well, the pleasure was mine, always top company and all the best to the Robster! Let's play pool sometime!

Drunken boys, red trousers and home by 8!

2007-06-24T17:08:00.000+01:00

Oh lordy lordy me, I'm never drinking again ever ever again! I know I say that each time the day after the night before, but this time I mean it! I think my liver has packed up and is this very second heading over to the Priory for a rest. My brain feels like it's on the inside of a tin drum at a drummers convention and my body aches in placed I didn't know I had places. My throat feels like I've been gargling with sandpaper and my voice is as rough as a plank of wood with a dozen nails in it.

Of course, I am not to blame for the over indulgence of alcoholic beverages, oh no, it's all the fault of that bloody Angus. He's Scottish, he likes a drink and that's pretty much it really, so the finger of blame is right above his head pointing downwards!

We had a blast, first we caught up on each others news of a couple of pints in the conservatory style front of Legends. It's always nice to the chew the fat with Angus, always a giggle, always a pleasure never a chore! He told me all about the Robster, how it's going, he also talked about toilet boy, but we'll just gloss over that for now! After Legends, we headed on down to Charles Street bar, which was full of women for a change. He stood at the back, perched over a little bar and bitched about the sexy straight boy and his 'bird' swaggering around. We wondered why that youngster was being served when he looked about 12 and asked why all muscle Mary's wear T-shirts and vests about 4 sizes too small. After doing our Waldorf and Statler for a bit, we then zoomed round the corner to VaVoom, the tiny tine bar beside Revenge's front door. It was packed, but let's face it, if you have 6 people in there, it's a crowd. After standing by the drafty door we went around the sister bar, V2. That was a mistake, it was pretty empty, the beer was off and the music dire, the only thing going for it was the topless barman.

I think Angus suggested we head back to Legend's for a few more before bed time and so we walked back up the front, up to my nipples in larger and entered a busy Legends. I like Legend's, it's pretty classy, well Brighton classy anyway, OK it may be one of the most expensive bars in town but it's nice. There also happens to be a rather yummy barman, with facial hair and a killer smile that always make my heart flutter a little faster. He's so obviously out of my league, but that doesn't stop me wanting to get my mammories out to him, I mean he can only be about 22, 23, maybe 24 at a push. Any how, here's where fate's finger poked me in the ribs and one of those strange coincidences of life happened. We were standing at the bar, I was telling Angus why my tongue was hanging out after ogling the dishy barman when standing almost right opposite from me was a familiar looking bloke in some funky red trousers. I said to Angus 'that bloke looks like Rufus Wainwright' He said no at first and then actually admitted it could possibly be, indeed it could very well be. As I said in my last post, I'd watched him on telly yesterday at Glastonbury and here he was in my local pub in Brighton. So, I offered him a light of his smoke and chatted to him, and guess what? It was Rufus Wainwright! I was kinda cool, at least I think I was, but after 6 pints, coolness may not have been the way he saw me! I asked what he did and he rather understatedly told me he was a singer, I asked if I'd have heard of him and he told me his name was Rufus Wainwright and I have to say he was a jolly nice, down to earth decent guy. I was kinda surprised that he was on his own and was totally ego-less, just a nice guy from Canada, who lives in New York, where his boyfriend is. So there I was in Legends, having a drunken chat and smoke with a big singing sensation who'd just played one of Europe's biggest music festivals! Life is strange like that, completely unexpectedly strangeness of the highest order.

Tom from work came and said hi and I introduced Rufus to him as if he was a long lost buddy, Tom had no idea who he was, but then again Tom's from Croatia and has the hots for Angus, so I think his attentions may very have been elsewhere. Anyway after a while, Rufus said his goodbyes and headed back to his hotel, after all, he had a show at the Dome to get ready for tonight. It was really nice meeting him and I only hope I wasn't too drunk or rude, now this is where it all got rather messy. We were joined by this youngster called Donovan, who seemed to be toying with me. Angus left to go home, Tom went, and IO went down stairs to dance with this guy that I had no real idea about, although he was rather nice looking, very sweet.

I'm not sure how it all happened, my memories starts getting a little blotchy of what happened next, but soon Donovan and I and a lesbian were along the front meeting up with a purveyor of disco pharmaceuticals, then we were in a cab heading over to Ocean rooms. I love The Ocean rooms, lovely multi level club, full of young drunk hetties, some of which were stunning, others, rather less stunning. Anyway, we danced and danced and held each other and clubbed and drank. Some time after later, I have no clue what time, but it was day light and rainy we came out and walked back to my place. My mother would be proud, I was in my door by 8am! Now, you see why I have the hangover from hell, which is lasting all day and why I'm never ever drinking again and why that blooming Angus is such a bad influence on me!

That's basically been my night, hello to Rufus, hello to Donovon, hello Angus, hello lovely lesbians, hello world and right now it's hello Alka-Seltzer!

More soon from your celebrity bumping into person that is me, I promise not be be so hung-over next time that even the sound of me typing is hurting my head!

It's Spice World all over again!

2007-06-23T17:35:00.000+01:00

It's true, it's like Spice world all over again, it's like the past 8 years never happened. The Spice Girls are reforming and going on tour again, oh my fooking god (I'm trying not to swear!) I'm not like my mate David who, by his own admission is "So excited I could scream" When I mentioned this ti Jakey, he said who, though for a moment and then piped up, "Oh yeah, posh before she was married to Beckham!"

Apparently the full details will be announced next Thursday but the world tour is due to start in London this December before heading around the world. David's got his finger on the button and his ear to the ground (So that's why his face looks like that! - just kidding sweetie!)He tells me there will also be a greatest hits album and a new single to burn, I mean buy, or download. Now, I'm not like David and put my life on hold until Thursday so that I can rearrange everything to accommodate the shows, but I might have to go with him for at least one of the gigs. Come on, I love live gigs and just because it's the Spice girls doesn't mean I wont enjoy it. Plus, maybe just maybe I'm a closest Spice fan at heart, ahem, possibly, ya never know, it could be true!

It's already in the media, and am sure there is gonna be major hype about this new coming together. Apparently the deal is worth a cool £10 Mill each which is a nice little pay packet by any ones standards. I wonder if that will mean the ticket and merchandise prices are sky high? Probably, oh well, I guess it has to be done, I mean, I have to keep my gay points total up to the required level or David will start shouting "Call yourself a gay man?" at me again!

All that girl power, I can smell it from here! Mind you, we've had Take That reform (except Robbie) Now we've got the Spice Girls, I wonder whose next, A Boy & His Diva, Big Fun, Bros? Who knows, just goes to prove, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction!

So that's basically it, another day done, I'm with out the boy from the land of scott, yeah that Angus has popped round, he's just had his eye test and has picked his new face furniture. He's not going for bold, Dame Edna style, nor bright red numbers that you can see from out of space, nope he's selected a sort of ermm fairly rectangular shaped, bronzey coppery coloured smallish optical enhancement to pop on his face. Although, I probably wont see them, he never wears them out, vain little bugger like that (Mind you, who am I to talk, when have you ever seen me out in mine?) I rest my case! So I;m not sure what we are going to do or where we will end up, you know Angus, a bit of a lush and a bad influence on me!!

Right, that's ya lot for today, I hear a pint calling my name!

More soon!!

When wrong numbers can be right!

2007-06-22T18:57:00.000+01:00

I have now become used to the fact that my home telephone number is just one digit away from a local tyre retailer. I've lost count of the number of calls I've had enquiring about a set of radials from a focus or similar such request. Recently I have 4 messages left on my answer machine for Barry from a Scott, telling him he's moving house and the like. If had a few calls from various companies trying to sell other companies something or other. This morning was another variation of the wrong number which made me chuckle. I stumbled out of bed and 9.30am to reach toe the ringing telephonic receiver, I pulled it to my ear. A disembodied woman's voice instantly sprang to life, she didn't draw breath between telling me she was sorry she hadn't paid for two weeks, she'd been ill, her mother was taken into hospital and her daughter was off school with chicken pox. I finally interjected when it sound as if she were about to burst in to tears as she worked herself into a right old tizzy. It transpired she was attempting to call the credit union and not me, relief all round me things, it sure brightened up my morning!

I think I'm probably unique in my liking for the wrong number scenario, I enjoy them, mind you that could be because I've had a rather pleasant experience from a wrong number that turned out to be a right number in the end! This was a couple of years ago on, I had a text from a number and person I didn't know, it was ermm shall we just say a rather erotic text. I replied, saying whilst doing certain things with chocolate body paint and a can of squirty cream on Saturday night was appealing, I would have to turn the sender down! I was surprised when I had a reply to my reply apologising for the mistake and asking who I was. I replied to their reply of my reply to their message and told them who and where I was. In text speak it's ASL or age, sex, location, I didn't know that at the time but I do now, which just goes to prove you really do learn something new every day! Anyway, I thought no more about it, having guessed that it was either some girl disappointed that her raunchy text had gone to a 30 something Brightonian poof or some young hettie boy equally miffed that his plans to get his end away at the weekend had gone rather extremely astray.

Two hours or so later, I had another text from this mystery button pusher, informing that he was a he, that his location was some town in Surrey and that he was bisexual and that he was sorry for the earlier text and wondered if we might become text mates. Now, I'd never had a text mate before, sure I've text mates but never had a mate from text, and anyone who knows me, knows that I love doing things for the first time, so I fired one back saying sure. A little while later, were were to-ing and fro-ing with snippets of ourselves and our lives. It turned out that he was a young guy, 22 or so (I can't honestly remember now!) and lived not too far away from my old stomping ground as a callow youth. Now, the progression from our written messages was to send picture messages, a big step I know, but hey, in for a penny - in for a pound. This went on for a couple of days and slowly the messages became more erotic and the pictures more revealing until the following Friday when he sent the very first message again, but this time added "this time it really is for you". Ok, I may be slow on the uptake at times, but this time I wasn't and whilst I should have been a bit more guarded, I throw caution to the wayside and we fixed up the details.

Saturday night came and I certainly learnt the chocolate body paint is a nice idea but in the ends it's just a sticky mess on the sheets, squirty cream is fine in small portions but is no substitute for the real thing and bisexuals sure love a bit of cock! We saw each other a number of times over the next few months and the sex was wonderfully passionate, exciting and not short of kinks, but as all good things must come to an end, and so to did the little interlude we shared in each others lives. So there ya go, sometimes wrong numbers can be the right ones in the end!

I'm guilty of being drunk in charge of a credit card today! I met up with little Jakey today and had lunch, well actually he came round to do his washing - long story, and a spot of lunch. So whilst his smalls were spinning around in hot soapy water, Jakey and I strolled down to the beach with a bottle of wine and some sandwiches. Silly me forgot the cork screw, however Jakey soon showed his studenty skills and with the aid of a borrows pen we were supping white wine out of plastic cups. There is a reason why I don't drink white wine, that reason is it makes me tipsy quickly and in the sun with not much to eat that effect is far more rapid. Anyway, after a while of enjoying the sun I walked with Jakey into town and purchased myself a new telly. My last one went wrong a couple of days ago, not sure when, I had it on and was listening to a music channel whilst surfing the net and when I next looked up, the screen was all white, yet the sound was perfect. I guess you can tell I'm not a big telly watcher, but as the telly wound not play DVDs it had to be replaced.

I was about to head off and see the lovely John at the Bang & Olufsen centre and nab myself a massive great big delight, however, I wasn't that drunk and new my meager resources would not stretch that far, despite my desire, so I opted for a cheaper 'make-do' set which is quite nice and bigger than my last one! Sorry John! But I'm still saving up for a phallic blue phone!

Yes - it's a phone!

My new telly has been showing me in wonderful colour the excellent Glastonbury coverage this evening on BBC3. So far I'm seen Bloc Party, Fratellis, Amy Wineglass, the camp but hugely talented Rufus Wainwright, Kasabian and a few others, and probably a lot more than if I was standing in those water logged fields with a a few hundred thousand other folks. I sometimes feel that I should have pulled my finger out and been more on the ball when the tickets first went on sale, but then again looking at the mud and rain today down near Glastonbury Tor, I think again. I'm not really a festival sort of person these days, I like my creature comforts too much, like clean toilets and dry underwear! Still, hey who needs to be there when the BBC are broadcasting so much on BBC 3, BBC 2 and two interactive channels and I'm not even thinking of live radio shows also coming live from the event. So that's what I pay my licence fee for, what a bargain!

Oh before I pop off, I just wanna say how pleased I was to see and hear there was a John Peel stage at Glastonbury this year, show casing new and fresh talent, just like that great master DJ did when he graced us with his being on this place we call earth. And on that note, take a look at this picture of John Peel, on the side of a pub here in Brighton, taken by Dean Harvey on placed on his wonderful blog Brighton Daily Photo. http://www.brightondailyphoto.blogspot.com/

Thanks for your comment Steve, good to hear from you and great that you're reading my little bit of webspace. David is out of town at the moment, that's why I can rest and there's no star stalking to be done!

Thanks also to Jerry from over t'other side of t'pond for your concern over the events of last week. Touching, but then again you are a kind and caring person.

More soon!

The Global Village!

2007-06-20T21:56:00.000+01:00

I had a lovely ride today out to Portslade and bag and it was good to get back in the saddle and out in the sun. Brighton is great at this time of year, the few weeks when the weather is great and the school holidays haven't started. I've got a bit of a red face now, and I wished I'd put on sun block, but don't I always say that after the event?

I've got a couple of extra days off this week, I've then the first 2 nights of next shift off, which I'm so bloody glad about. I've really had enough of that place, the whole office politics is just a classic demonstration of how not to run a company, but I'll not moan about that anymore, just revel in my time off!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I was shot at whilst at work the other week, there I was working hard, I heard a large bang but saw nothing. Then at around 5am as it was getting light, I noticed a bullet hole in the window. I kid you not, there was a bullet hole in the first pain of bullet proof glass that our office had installed in the wake of 9-11. I thought I'd snap a piccie of it to show you. I think I should push for danger money!

I've had a few emails off a straight lad that I meet through the social interaction site Bebo, which have been very flattering, rather erotic and ermm tempting. This lad, who shall remain nameless (at least for the moment) is apparently straight, has a girlfriend but wants to have a bit of a 'gay fling' and sample some man love. I'm tempting, after all he claims to be very well above average in the trouser department, he's nice looking and he's only just in his 20's and straight. OK, you can call me a dirty old man if you want, but c'mon, it's tempting, isn't it always flattering when someone younger find you attractive?

But this whole thing with the Bebo boy has got me thinking, do all boys go through a 'gay phase' or require a 'gay fling' to feel whole. And also, the 19 yea old daughter of a friend of mine was telling me that, of all the boyfriends she's had, every single one has expressed a liking or passion, indeed desire for anal sex. Not just giving it, but also taking it, yes apparently the most exciting thing for the modern straight teenage boy it to have something shoved up his chocolate starfish! Is there no real straight men left in the world?

After my bike ride, I toddled off to the newly opened exotic Taj supermarket that's just opened at the bottom of St James street. I wondered around with basket in hand and marvelled at all the wide and wonderful products on offer. There was such an array of food stuffs from all over the world, not just fruit and veg, but pretty much everything from coconut milk from Thailand, rice wine of Japan, honey from Australia and chocolate from America. Oh yes that last one, chocolate from America means so much to me, I have, as they say a little addiction to American chocolate that goes by the name of Hershey! I love the taste of that, slightly sour dark sex in a bar. Indeed, I would beg friends and colleagues who were heading stateside to bring me back a bag of kisses or a bar or two. Classic example was when David jetted off to New York, I gave him $50 to bring some back. We really are living in a global market place, but does the things that were once so hard to get that are no readily available make them less desired and desirable.

Abercrombie and Fitch used to be my favorite brand of casual clothes, yet I had a tinge of disappointment when they opened a store in London. One of the attractions of Abercrombie stuff was it's exclusivity, it couldn't be purchased (legitimately) in the UK. With the opening of that London store, it was now available to all and thus, less exotic, less desired, less exclusive. Now Hershey is available over here (at greatly inflated prices, I may add!) will that mean I will find it less exciting to nibble on? Do I desire it so because I cant have it or do I really truly desire it.

Perhaps it will it become like my Australian Vegimite, a true delight that I count my lucky stars that the world is becoming a smaller place and that dark yeasty spread is now available here within England's green and pleasant shores.

I guess like me, and everyone else in this electronic age you get bombarded with emails, 98% of which is useless spam or advertising junk. However one such email stands out from the rest and that is from those clever smoothie makers Innocent drinks. There regular news letter is always interesting to read. Not your usual advertising junk, but interesting and fun, a bit like their company. Take a look at the Innocent promotional vans, all covered in grass and flowers and the like. Plus the drinks are to die for!!

Has Ramsay faked it again? One of the subjects of the US version of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare's has filed a multi-million pound lawsuit against the star claiming, the chef has faked scenes in the programme. This new action comes just a year after Ramsay won a libel case against the London Evening Standard after claims he faked stuff for the UK version of the show, so is Gordon Ramsay a faker or a genius? Could it be there is no smoke without fire or is it just a case of someone just trying his luck against a larger than life very successful chef with a foul mouth and a bit of a temper? Let's face it, Ramsay has become a major player in the restaurant world, he's got 9 top class eating houses in the UK including Boxwood ( where I have noshed!) Petrus, Maze, Savoy Grill, Ramsay's, Gordon Ramsay at Claridges. Over in the states he's got 4 top class joints and also 1 each on Dubai and Tokyo, so you can be sure he's worth a bob or two. But, out of all of those, does he ever cook at all?

I got an email today from Tesco.com and I must admit I got a little excited, it proudly claimed 'Naked Deliveries' The last man from Tesco's that arrived with my goodies was a bit of a looker, so I read on with wide eyes. Alas, my hope were dashed further down the email, it's not the delivery drivers that are naked but the food itself! Apparently you can select to have your groceries delivered without carrier bags, which if you ask me is a good thing. I mean last time I had 14 bags after my weekly shop was delivered, with 1 bag containing only 1 product!

Thats ya lot for now, more soon!

London to Brighton

2007-06-18T01:46:00.000+01:00

It was the annual London to Brighton charity bike ride yesterday, yet of course I missed it as I was in the land of snooze while it was taking place. I have done it before, in my younger days and it was jolly good fun and a good way to keep fit and raise funds for Charity. Although, I'm not sure the weather helped them this year with it being all wet and windy - (funny, that sounds like a girl I know!) It's got me thinking, it's about time I did some more charity work. I'm gutted that I cant do the Stonewall Barcelona Equality walk this year. I've had my shifts changed because work are sending me to New York the weekend after. Which is good and bad, bad that I can't walk with Stonewall but good for me to go travelling, all expenses paid to the Big Apple.

It also got me thinking about all the other London to Brighton runs there are, for example there is one for vintage cars, one for nothing but mini's, one for old fire engines, one for coaches and buses, one of motorbikes and they are just the one's I can think of off the top of my head. It seems that Brighton is the place to head to for a annual run, which is great for the city, it's also good to see fresh talent from all over the place.

I'm in love with YouTube, the video sharing site, there is just some much fun stuff on there. From music and programme clips to very odd things like London to Brighton in four mins! OK, there is some shit on the site, but take a look at these two videos of a train trip from London to Brighton, one from these days and one from yesteryear. It's really nice to have a look at how things have changed. Oh how I wish it had or been a steam train that was chugging down the track!

It's a bit of a London to Brighton post this in it? Still there we go. I'm half way through night three of four of this shift and I'm so glad it's almost over, it's really doing my head in. I really feel I'm earning my money this shift. It's also a pain because David is off on holiday, the luck bugger, so it's less fun and more of a prison than ever before! Oh well, could be worse I suppose, although at 1.46 am, I'm not sure how!!! Anyway, I'm going to have a little snooze before my lunch is over. More soon!

LaLa's & MooMoo make another appearance!

2007-06-15T16:48:00.000+01:00

After a lazy start to the morning, lazy meaning I didn't get up until the afternoon, I took a slow moving supposedly fast train to Gatwick to meet up with Jo & Carolyn. They had a friend over there already when I arrived, he was fixing up Carolyn's laptop so they could be on the internet at home (about blooming time!) Which meant food was served later, but more drink was drunk on empty tummies, so drunkenness was a dead cert!

We had a great time drinking, nattering and downing a bottle of Apple Sourz, which pretty much done us all in, a drunken haze descended as those little green shots were downed, it was fun, Jo and I danced like fools to SkyHigh and loads of other tunes. Oh and I have to say, Jo's LaLa's and MooMoo made another appearance when she went off to have a shower and flashed open her bathrobe. I could put up a picture of such events on here, but I wont, mainly because, on Jo's phone she has pictures of me in just my pants. That's not all, she also has a pick of her and I flashing our bum's for the camera - that's a sight that should never be seen!

Their wedding photo album has arrived so this morning I turned those pages and was transported to three or so months ago for their fab wedding day. The memories came flooding back, along with the fear of having to write and deliver a speech. It was a class day and as promised here are just a couple of photo's for your pleasure.

The happy couple!

From left to right,

Me, Drew, Carolyn, Jo, Maureen, Lil Josh & Lee.

It's da usher boyz on the bed with Jo in the middle.

I love this photo of Drew, Josh, Lee, Jo and I on a bench before Jo and Carolyn tied the knot. It was such a nice day and held at Langshott Manor in Horley.

Right, I'm off to have a snooze before I have to head on into work! Oh god why do my four nights off go so quickly and my four on pass by so so very slowly?

Elaine Paige was drunk!

2007-06-13T15:57:00.000+01:00

I got chatted up and groped yesterday! Strange I know that someone would want to do that to me, but it happened. David and I were in Compton's on Old Compton Street ( which incidentally was one of the first gay pubs in London!) enjoying a natter and a couple of drinks before we trolled over to the Novello Theatre for the Drowsy Chaperone when this slimy drunk guy sided up to me. His name as Jamie, he was a catholic, buddist, drunken lush and a letch. He kept on grabbing my arse and trying to get his hands in my pants, not my cup of tea to be sure! David was not in the least bit helpful, encouraging this weirdo Jamie to stay chatting with us and drinking as slowly as a man can drink!

The Novello, formerly The Strand Theatre is a nice little(ish) place with some very friendly staff and David had secured seats in the £55 stalls for £35 which was a boon and we settled in to watch the show. I loved the start of the show, completely dark, with just a lone voice, introducing us to the spectacle that was about to happen. If you've not heard of the show, it's basically about this rather camp lonely nerdy kinda guy, sitting alone in his room, playing a long lots forgotten record of a musical from the 1920's called the Drowsy Chaperone. He's passion for the musical is infectious and slowly the musical comes to life with the cast appearing in his very room.

I'm not sure if this is a homage, rip off or piss take of musicals for the 20's, but that matters not as the bizarre story comes to life. There are some good dance moves, some incredible high kicks and all played out with the hammy over the top acting of yesteryear. It's a wonderful way to spend an evening, there isn't an interval, which is actually a good thing, after all it stops it from spoiling the moment! Bob Martin, who plays the nerdy man, is wonderful in the role, gives some funny lines and seems so strangely familiar, you get that David! The rest of the performances are also good and live the story to the full, Elaine Paige seemed drunk through the whole show, but then again, that's what she's supposed to be! It was great to see this show. However whilst having a drink in 79CXR afterwards, both David and I had no real clue what all that nonsense was all about, but sometimes it's nicer like that. Novello Theater, booking till Feb 2008, so you've got no excuse.

Oh, while we were in that neck of the woods, we passed the theatre where Equus was on with Daniel Radcliffe, all the signs were down and nothing going on. It's so strange, a theatre looks like an eerie strange, desolate place when it's not in use, or dark as those in the business call show call it. It evokes feelings of a time gone by for me, a history that has passed me by, yet tickles my soul. Oh I'd love to live in a theatre, would be so much fun, wanna buy one for me?

I've not been in 79CXR for many a long year, not since I was up there with one of my first boyfriend's Simon, back in the 95 or 96. It was a funky packed out place then, yesterday it seemed a little sad, down at heal and ermm dirty. There was so much grime everywhere that I didn't dare lean on the ledge for fear of picking up some nasty, and I don't mean a man. At least two of the bar staff were quite friendly, which made the visit a little more bearable. They have a sign about the bar which claims it's an attitude free zone, I'm pretty sure they had that on my last visit there, it's just a pity half the drinkers didn't take any notice of it.

I had a post card from my mother today, funny, I didn't even know she'd gone away, maybe I should make more of an effort to keep in touch with the old folk, I mean they're not getting any younger are they, but then again not am I and do they make an effort to get in touch with their youngest son? Does a postcard count as communication?

Who says internet search engine Google doesn't have a sense of humour? Loads of people actually, but they proved that do with their Google Maps! I put in a trip from my place to Times Square, New York for a giggle, they came back with a trip that would take a bit over 29 days! Check out the following link and see for yourself, but check out item number 26. http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?svnum=10&hl=en&amp;amp;amp;gbv=2&q=79+cxr&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=il

Thanks Google programmers, sure did give me a giggle!

Whilst I was in London, I picked up a copy of gay freebie mag Boyz, mainly because Paul Burston told me he was in the back of it, he's a master of self promotion & publicity don't ya know. So I whizzed to the back and read a rather nice little featurette on Lovers & Losers author Paul which was really sweet and then I flicked through the rest of the mag. I was pleasantly surprised to see pictures of Enrique Inglesias, serenading a fan when the Latin honey appeared at club G- A- Y at the start of June. Enrique, who is it has to be said, a bit of a dish, usually pulls a female fan out of the audience when he sings is hauntingly romantic Hero live. But on this occasion as he was playing a 40 min set in the gay dance club, said, he should really pick a boy, and that's what he did. So up popped a cute little fan with weak knees who our Mr Inglesias Jnr serenaded. Towards the end of the song, he came up behind the youngster, placed his arm around him and sang the lines "I just want to hold you, am I in too deep" apparently the crowd went wild. He rewarded the kid with a kiss on the forehead, my good, there can not be very many hetro main stream pop stars that would do something like that. It looks kinda romantic as well, I that lucky boy will tell his tale many times over! It's also proved popular on YouTube, where the following video has been played over 52,600 times (as I write this)

More soon!

Am I Drowsy or in need of a Chaperone?

2007-06-12T11:16:00.000+01:00

The past four nights have been a very long upward struggle of hell, but then again I think I'm walways moaning and a goraining about work, so I'll stop this very second and forget all that drudgery!

Last night was a quiet affaire, Jakey popped round with little David, David is an old mate, I have hardly seen him since he took up with some drag queen the middle of last year. It was good to catch up, find out whats been going on in the world of pink sequins and tape-it-up-pants and of course the red wine helped.

Before that the man from Ocado called with all my suppies, I've taken to having my grocery shoppping delivered because, well it's simply easier, less demanind and so much time saving. Also the only supermarket I have in walking distance of me is scummerfield, which is a chav and scallys playground and not suited to a chap like me. However, with waitrose doing deliveries, I am saved from mixing with the lower selections of human species from Whitehawk and a lovely man comes along in his grey van and colour coded bags to bring in my goodies. I'm not on a diet, so this weeks delivery consisted of mainly fruit and alcohol!!! Oh dear!

I'm a bit gutted at the moment for I have learned that I'll be busy for this years annual "The Chap & Hendrick's Olympiad" held at Bedford Square Gardens. I'll miss such wonderous events as the 'Pipe Smokers' Relay' the 'Martini Knockout Replay' 'Umbrella Hockey' and 'Hop, Skip and G&T' Honestly, I'm not making it up, it's a real event, check out www,ticketweb.co.uk if you don't believe me, it's on 14th July!!

Oh, back to work for a moment, during the slow hours , mean and the girls worked out our 'shame factor fines' as on Sex & The Sea Front a couple of days ago. Obviouslyl you already know mine and I'm a bit of a shamefull person! The lovely Rachael was very open and honest and managed a semi respectable £612. Germ was bearly £200 mind you, she's married and doesn't drink at all ( I never fully trust someone who doesn't drink!) But that bossy sourface Lisa was well over £700. Some of the things she'd got up to in the past would make an Amsterdam whore blush - shaggin on round-a-bouts in Ipswich to name but one! The diiirrtyy girl!!!!

I'm off to London with David in a little while, we're seeing the Drowsy Chaperone this evening starring Elaine Paige. It looks like it's going to be a good show, a bit of 1920's glam with high kicks and toe-tapping delights, so I'm looking forward to it. Obviously, as always, I'll drop you a review upon my return.

Oh, nearly forgot, Jakey spotted this photo of me and David doing our Equality Walk for chairty in May, here we are just behind the lead star, Antony Cotton! Proof if proof were needed that we did actually do the walk, in our fetching blue American Express / Stonewall T shirts. I remember this photo being taken, but by that stage my right leg was already throbbing around the metal bit in it and the blister's on my left prevented me from preening and posing too much!

The Moldovian authorities have banned the gay Pride march in it's capital stating it's against the countries 'Christian values'. Homosexuality is still illeagl in Singapore along with chewing gum and jay-walking. British outpost Bermuda, claim they are 'Pro-gay' this comment came after a gay cruise company cancelled a stop off at the island after much anti-gay protests on the island during it's last cruise. Aruba didn't want to allow gay marriages on it's island, but is being ordered to by the Netherlands supreme court, there is expected to be protests when the first gay couple try to hold their civil union on the Dutch island. In a recent survey, 1 in 5 gay men in Brighton have been verbally abused in the streets of Brighton! This is just the tip of the iceburg, which is why the work of Stonewall is so important, it's why I donate to them monthly and it's why you should as well. Click on the banner below for details of the Barcelona Equality Walk next month, or click in my charity page on the right to make a donation.

Right, thats it for today, I'm off to make myself look good for my public!!!!

Smallville & watch.

2007-06-10T09:57:00.000+01:00

While I was suffering complete morons at work and counting each one of the 43,200 seconds of my night shift, David was out in London town enjoying the spectacle that is one Michael of George! Yes the little chief pop stalker had nabbed tickets for the splendid show at Wembly Stadium, along with 65,000 other bods. By all accounts the sound was fantastic and the show was a wonderful one from Mr Michael. David loved it, indeed loads of celebs also enjoyed the big gig. From where our pop stalker was seated, he was a few rows away from ex Spice girl Geri and Chris Evans and they seemed to really enjoy it.

On the box last night was the final of Any Dream Will Do, the reality TV show to find a replacement Joseph for the West End musical. I've not been able to watch much of the series, but the ones I have managed to catch have been great. It's a nice bit of easy entertainment that is exactly that - entertainment. Alas, my tip to win Keith, didn't, he came second to curly haired Lee, but I've just watched a tape of the final and he did put on a great performance and my little buddy Jakey said it was a cracking show (although why a good looking 21 year old would be in watching the telly on a Saturday night and not out living it up big time, I don't know!) Funny, also running the same time as Any Dream was another reality show on ITV looking at finding replacements for the Grease musical, but, I'll not say anything about it as no-body seems to be watching it - so finally Grease ain't the word!

Whist David bopped to George and Jakey swung his pants to the three Josephs, I was at work and was chatting to Nyree about all sorts of things. Namely her baby, little Sam, she adores Sam, she even has a framed photo that is put on her desk at the start of the shift. Sam is a lovely white cat, which is a rather pampered pussy. He sleeps on a £75 silk throw, that has never been used as anything other than Sam's bed. Bless! Nyree is of course completely mad, but I mean that in the most nicest of ways and if it wasn't for her and David, I would not continue doing the job I'm doing. (So they are to blame for the growing number of grey hairs on my chin and head) All I can say is 'Mind that tweee' and 'Don't poke me, I might die' and 'Shssss I'm wanting 24!'

Pampered lil pussy Sam!

I missed a rather amusing sight yesterday, I was in the land of nod dreaming some exciting technicolour dream, people without many clothes on were cycling through the streets of Brighton. 200 brave folks bared their bits and bobs on a seven mile trip as part of The World Naked Bike Ride's that are or were happening in 60 countries around our globe. They are highlighting the damage that the cars doing to our planet and are attracting more and more supporters. A bit later on around 700 joined in the London leg of the nuddy ride and stripped off in the capital. Some people used body paint to conserve a little bit of modesty, while others used take and even more bizarrely a flower pot!

You may think naked bike riding is odd behaviour for sane people, but it's not as odd or as bizarre as this snippet of news. Recently reported in the London Evening Standard newspaper is the news that Charles Tombe from the Sudan is in mourning after his wife died. His wife, Rose, swallowed a plastic bag and died, which sounds rather odd to start with, but it really goes into the realm of insanity when I tell you the Tombe's wife was actually a goat!!! Tombe was forced to marry Rose, the goat by his village elders after he was caught having sex with her, the idea was to bring shame to him. But, apparently for a while they were a very happily married couple! So yep, it's official, there are some right nutters in this world of ours!

I'm not really a Smallvill viewer, I've seen it a couple of times, not a fan, I think the only reason I watched it for the first time was to see the swoonsome lead Tom Wellings. Well hey, I'm gay and he's good looking! Anyway a friend from over the other side of the Atlantic, the Pond, the Puddle suggested I take a peek once more. Not for the intellectually challenging storyline, not for the astonishingly breathtaking cinematography. No, the reason I should tune in was to see a handsome fella by the name of Justin Hartley, whose won a couple of awards for being in the show.

"check him out, maybe a post is in order" Nathan, USA

I'm still not a fan of Smallville, but Justin Hartley is a bit of a sexy fella, nice eyes, nice body, nice hair, nice teeth, nice d**k...... well I dunno about that, but I wouldn't mind finding out. However, I guess his wife would have something to say about that, never mind, it's still nice to look tho!

Now, something completely different, this is a moving video that I found whilst surfing YouTube. I'm not ashamed to say that it actually made me cry, I know I'm a softy, but this really is moving.

It should remind us all that we are not invincable, that condom's should be a fact of life and not forgotten about. When I used to work on radio, I used to have a couple of saying, catchphrases if you will, that I always used to say on air. One is very apt at the moment after seeing that video "Rubber up before you roger on! and if it ain't on then it ain't in!" Ok, I was younger in those days and the charm of youth was on my side. However, the message is still the same. I've lost enough friends already to HIV and AIDS, I don't want to loose any more - please.

More soon