Always the sun!

The sun shone brightly through my window this morning and for some reason a song was battling to come through from my dreams to my waking reality. I'd been dreaming of being a teenager again, walking through a field and then coming out at a cliff top looking out to the sea! I can clearly remember where this place is and I long to go back and be a teenager again and enjoy the wide eyed wonder of everything without the cynicism that comes with age!

"How many times have you woken up and preyed for the rain? How many times have seen the papers apportion the blame? Who gets to say, who gets the work and who gets to play!" were words repeatedly swirling around the inner recesses of my brain. Where they came from, I couldn't have said, only a soft slight voice and strumming guitars. Would those lyrics disappear along with the visions of my dream of clear blue skies looking out to see from the cliff top? Nope the would not, not even when Ocado came with my grocery shopping and a free bottle of wine!

Then suddenly like a lightening flash while I was showering, Always The Sun, darted into my somewhat bedraggled cranial mass. A fab 80's song from The Stranglers, at least I thought as I basked in the contented knowledge of recognition. It's a great song and I'm playing it right now, as I write this post to you, it's a dream like song and reminds me of times long passed. I love the power of music that hearing just a few bars of a lyric or two, can transport you back to those youthful days of yore. Oh how dull life would be without my music, without my memories. Anyway, as I've been dreaming about walking along that cliff top and hearing in my head (and now my speakers) Always the sun, I thought I'd share both with you.

Nope, this isn't me, this is Ed, he's an ex of mine, I loved him madly, or was I madly in love with him or was I and to love him? Whatever, he's pictured walking along between the field and the cliff top, it's such a beautiful place, always inspires creative thoughts and brings happy memories. I remember, holding hands walking along that cliff top with young Ed and thinking the world was perfect. Oh what foolish notions I had back then. Oh and Ed, yes I did love you like the stars up above!

Here's the Stranglers - Alway's The sun, there's a great line in there, "Who get's the job of pushing the knob!"

This is turning into a bit of a musical post today, the sun is so bright and the sky is a wonderful lighest shade of blue, mirrored by the sea that is having wonderful powers on my mental state. It's wonderful, how a little bit of nice weather can make the world seem a better place and people friendlier. Anyway, I thought I'd share another tune with you from that youngster Ben who I featured on the blog a little while ago. His name is Ben, he's a sweet English 20 year old with a very pleasing voice that I for one could listern to all day. Anyway, here he is again with another track, The Reefer Song!. (Oh and if there's any record producers, or A&R men out there, blast this passed your lug holes and email me!)

There ya go, another track from Ben, I can't wait for him to record another couple of track so that I can share them with you as his voice is amazing. I might have to do a recording of it and give it to Angus. Not that Angus is in the music biz, it's just he lives next door to Simon Cowells mum! He meet Simon the other day and said what a thoughly lovely chap!

Anyway, I must go now, as the girls have come down, yeah, Jo and Carolyn have come down for the night, although looking at the amount and size of bags they've got with them, you'd swear they are staying for the month! I'm not sure what we are going to do, but one thing is for sure, there will be alcohol involved! God help my liver and kidneys!

Sober, well at least for now!

The truth is out there?

The truth is out there, unless you're in reality TV world that is. It seems like you can't turn the page of a newspaper or see a news bulletin these days without some fresh revelation of reality TV faking something for the small screen.

Reality TV is faked, OK, so some have had suspicions for some time that everything in the reality TV world is in fact reality, but these day's it's becoming more and more prevalent. Take the documentary, about the Beckham's going to America, we were treated to a behind the scenes look at Victoria's efforts to pave the way for their move to LA. But after the show was shown, it transpires that, a few of the 'real' people in the programme were in fact actors and actresses and whole sections of the show were in fact staged.

The BBC has been caught yet again faking bits on the antiques auction show 'Cash In The Attic'. In the episode in question a man was seen entering a bidding war during an auction for a iron door stop, this guy won after bidding got up to £600, for what was an item worth only about £50. Fool you may think, and it's it was true you'd be right, but, it's not, this guy, Bob Warman, who was seen bidding, was actually bidding on a different item at a different auction, his £600 went on an antique table and not a rusty old door stop. This comes on the back of the BBC admitting it has done a similar thing on another daytime TV prog, 'Flog it'.

Ramsey's kitchen nightmares has been accused a few times of faking scenes to make the show more interesting, Even the Queen is not immune from being a subject to chronological manipulation in the clip shown to the media by the BBC that appeared to show her storming out of a photo session in a huff. The scene of her walking out was actually Her Maj walking in. The BBC have had production staff pretending to be competition winners on various radio and telly shows, it's getting harder and harder to trust the BBC, once the World's most widespread, trusted and respected broadcaster, now well, I still trust them to entertain me, but I'll never believe a reality show is actually a reality!

Oh talking about the Queen, according to a royal biographer, there are only three people that can be put straight through to the Her Maj no matter where she is. The first is her granddaughter, Zara Phillips, the second is Prince William and whom is the third? One would expect it to be Prince Charles perhaps, but you'd be wrong, perhaps you're thinking it's Harry, but you'd also be way off the mark. Could it either of her children, Anne, Edward or Andrew? Nope it's not either of them. I bet you thinking it's gotta be the Prime Minister that gets put straight through to Her Maj, but that's even not correct. No, strange as this may see, the third and only other person to be put straight through to the Queen when they call wherever she is, is, John Warren, her horse racing manager!

I hear that Ben Ellis is going to star in the new Westend musical Hairspray, which is good news for the youngster who lost out to Lee Mead in Any Dream Will do reality show recently. Ben, is over the moon as you'd expect "This has been my dream!" bless him, he's kinda cute too and I thought he should have won Any Dream. But, alas he didn't, Lee Mead did, I wonder if that had something to do with the fact that the winner of this reality TV talent contest was already employed as part of the the chorus of the musical Joseph and was always an understudy for the role, before he won?

Camp actor and fellow Stonewall Equality walker, Antony Cotton has got himself a brand new chat show, which should be a bit of a giggle, especially if he's anything like his character of Alexander on Queer As Folk. Apparently he's going to keep on doing his role in Corrie as the gay barman, knicker stitcher Sean whose just impregnated a woman! I for one will be watching the first show with open eyes, is there any other way?

Our National Health Service is spending £1 million a week on 1 single drug it was revealed this week, which is a pretty hefty price tag. But, what is this drug they are spending so much dosh on? Is it a cure for cancer? Nope, A life saving treatment? Nope, it's Viagra! Yep they spend a million quid a week on giving people erections, now that's an upstanding job!

Right, that's ya lot for now!

Gossip tongue, trust no-one!

It's been a very long four nights at work, yes I did go back to that metaphorical sweat box in which I am currently employed. I've thought about posting before now, but, well one can not be sure just whose going to be reading! That is in essents what this blog is about, to be read, once it's up and 'out there' on this interwebnet thingy, it is my viewpoint, my opinions, my thoughts, dreams and desires that is shared, and can be read by anyone, which is a joy and a freedom that is the very cornerstone of a democratic society, the freedom of speech. Even if it's being read by those that one least expects would be interested in my world, my life.

However, it's this 'freedom, that has very nearly got me in trouble, at least in the work aspect of my life. It would seem that there are certain gossips around that have taken a serious interest in stirring up feeling, miss-information and almost certain untruths. It all stems from the post about a 'loud mouthed' woman I put up a very posts ago, she read it in the middle of the night and made a comment, which was her view point, and was fine, cutting and perhaps a little hurtful, but none-the-less valid. Now, this lady, who by her own admission is ermm on the loud side, and I, who by my own admission can be a little over sensitive at times have talked, spoken and everything in the garden between us is rosy, it was all done and dusted ages ago.

However, apparently the poisonous gossips of this world tell a different story. A web of lies has been spun, gossip has been spread, phone call's have been made for one purpose and one purpose alone and that was to gossip! The result of which has been that 25% of traffic to this blog in one week has come from work! People, who've have never had anything to do with me before have read pages of information about me! Apparently seen rather senior managers looking into the blog, consulting with outside employment law consultants and industrial relations experts. A rather large amount of time and money has been spent by the company, I've been 'given advice' from a big boss, and all because of......one persons evil gossiping, the truth behind the gossip all completely lost in it's transgression upward and over. So, perhaps, to learn a lesson is not always believe what a gossiper is telling you!

Winds of change

It's startling how different two days weather can be, today the rain is falling for a dark grey sky, the waves are high and rough and the wind is whistling trough the old sash windows of the lounge. Yesterday, all windows were open, a golden hot sun shone brightly from an unblemished blue sky, little wind was matched by a gentle lapping of the beach by the soft waves of a tranquil sea.

I am recovering from my recent illness, my stress and am starting to either cope of look forward to the next few days and weeks. Angus, the boy from the land of Scot, came round on Saturday and managed to talk me in to leaving the flat for the first time in 9 days. I must say, it was good to get out and have some freedom. We had what can only be described as a rather, nee very sedate evening out. Usually, we're doing a pub crawl, flitting from bar to bar, downing pint after pint and getting well and truly sloshed. Saturday however was more refined and slow, we went to Legends and that's where we stayed all evening. We chatted about everything and anything, from politics to his new found activity of scuba diving (a little of his blokey, the Robster, influence there me thinks!) It was refreshing, entertaining and delightful to be with Angus and to be out. Whilst I wasn't up to full strength, I did feel better than I had in days, the wind of change is stirring a little.

I've harped on about Global Climate Change and going green and being more energy efficient in the past, so I thought I'd find out what my own personal carbon footprint really is. There is a good website which helps you calculate how green you are - http://www.actionco2.direct.gov.uk/ By there calculations, my individual carbon footprint is just slightly larger than the national average. I produce a total of 5.07 tonnes of CO2 emissions per year, which is derived from 1.61 tonnes from heating, 1.51 tonnes from appliances and 1.94 tonnes from transport. My transport factor would be a lot greater if I had a car, but as I don't, the majority of my transport tonnage comes from flights, which is obviously a little less this year as I'm not going to New York now! What's your carbon footprint?

Because I've been unwell recently, I have plenty of time to flick through the TV channels during the odd times of the day and night. I'm surprised at the amount of strange shows there are dotted about our even expanding choice of channels. From the trail of a single $5 bill through a casino, to the practicalities of building with concrete! I've been enthralled, entertained and repulsed by various programmes, and sometimes I've found the adverts between the programmes are the best entertainment. In that vain, it's hats off to Sony's commercials for the Bravia tellys. Last July's advert, was an absolute marvel, sending 250,000 multi-coloured 'superballs' bouncing down the streets of San Francisco may seem the strangest way to advertise a telly, but that's exactly what Danish director Nicolai Fuglsig did for them. San Franciscans have seen some unusual things in their time, but even this gave them something to talk about. Plus the incredible visions were matched by a deeply movingly enchanting music track from Jose Gonzalez, called Heartbeats. It's a pure joy to watch and listen to.

This is the commercial, taken from YouTube, you can't see the incredible quality so well, but you can hear the great track and it gives you a real taste of what I'm jabbering on about!

Also advertising Sony's new TV's is another full colour explosion of an ad, which is bounding on our screens. Paint splattering all over a block of flats which as equally stunning, yet not as soft of as emotive as the first one, it is still a wonderful creation of commercialism cinematography.

I'm sure that the streets of Glasgow where the ad was filmed has never seen anything like that before or ever will again. Over 70,000 litres of special environmentally paint was used along with 622 bottle bombs, 330 meters of steel pipes, 455 mortars and 57kms of copper wire to create this iconic ad. Stunning, all to sell us a TV with exceptional colour 'like no other' it's classy, maybe not as calssy as those wonderous tellys from Bang & Olufsen, which are still number 1 in my book!

The wet weather has continued to cause havoc and destruction to some parts of the UK, with people not only homeless, but also without power and even in some places, food is being rationed as the destruction creeps further. In Gloucestershire the number of people to have lost water supplies is expected to reach 420,000, as the Severn and Thames rivers threaten to overflow. The new PM Gordon Brown toured the area by helicopter and has promised a review of the crisis, big wow there then from the most uncharasmatic of leaders ever. I do really feel for those families that have seen their homes flooded, their lives turned upside down by the ravages of nature. It must be a very distresing time for them, how do you cope with such a thing, I don't know, I suppose you just get on and deal with it, very little else you can do.

I hope it starts to clear up for those living in the flooded areas and they can get on with rebuilding their homes and their lives.

Oh and Tom, thank you for that snippet of news about the Homer and the guiat story, now that would have been a sight and I'm sure would have attracted more publicity and maybe less complaints.

Ok, that's ya lot for today. But, before I pop off, let me leave you with this little saying, coming from the mouth or a youngster,

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorma mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn offthe light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy.".

Harry's last stand!

Harry makes his last stand? Unless you were on the moon yesterday I'm sure you couldn't escape the news hype media coverage of the release of the 7th and last Harry Potter book - Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows from JK Rowling! Top secrecy surrounded the release of this mega tome, the publishers apparently spent a cool £10 million keeping the story secret before it's official on sale time of a few seconds after mid-night last night/this morning. Book shops around the world have opened especially for this mammoth launch of this much eagerly awaited book and people have been queuing outside shops for days. Indeed outside London's Oxford Street branch of Waterstones, there were some brave soles or stupid twats, depending on your view point, that have been waiting outside for over 54 hours! Can you believe that, 54 hours, outside on the streets just to get your hands on a book! Now that's devotion for you, of complete hysterical madness, just to buy a book as early as you possibly could.

While hardened fans were bursting through the doors of shops up and down the country, the multi million selling author was reading the first chapter at the History Museum to a group of 500 lucky prize winners in the warm, she's not silly ya know. But what can we expect from this the latest and the last installment of the life of the boy wizard? Well, JK Rowling herself has confirmed that, one, possibly two much loved characters will end their days! There are some many thearys about what will happen and who will die, is this the end of Harry once and for all? Will Ron get the girl? Has Herminone headed off this mortal coil? Has Voldemort vanished? I'm not going to spoilt if for you, mainly because I don't know for sure, so I guess, if you wanna find out for yourself, you'll have to buy the book and wade through the 759 pages until you get to 'The End' to ever know for sure!

Without a doubt, JK Rowlings Harry Potter series of books has been the most amazing publishing successes of the passed decade, but it almost wasn't the case. It took a year for her agent to find someone that would publish her first book, many publishers turned the manuscript down, you can bet they kinda regret that decision now! Publishers very rarely seem to either read the opening of books sent to them or know a good thing when it lands on their desks. David Lassman sent of the opening chapters of three of Jane Austen's classics to 18 different publishing houses. He changed the names and locations slightly to see if anyone would notice. Nope they didn't, Penguin, which currently publishes Pride and Prejudice, which was one of the books Lassman sent off, responded that "First Impressions 'seems like a really original and interesting read'. But there was no request to see the rest of the book. There was only one, that spotted something a little fishy! Alex Bowler, assistant editor at Jonathan Cape publishers. His reply read: "I suggest you reach for your copy of Pride and Prejudice, which I'd guess lives in close proximity to your typewriter and make sure that your opening pages don't too closely mimic the book's opening. After all, there is such a thing as plagiarism." Interesting huh!

House, my favorite US drama series is up for two Emmys this year, one for Best Actor for Hugh Laurie and one for Outstanding Drama Series. I'm pleased about that, it's a great show, full of interesting facts and great performances and also gives me an excuse to put up a photo of the lovely Jesse Spencer who plays chase in the show!

England has been gripped by floods again after more torrential rain, a whole months worth in a few hours, and there is more on the way apparently. So this is summer, it's England, we should be used to so much rain, after all, the weather is one thing that we all complain about. It's a national obsession to bemoan the weather, but even to us moaners, it's still pretty devastating, especially in the north and in Wales. I'm so lucky I live on a hill!

Lucky eBay'er! Can you imagine the look of surprise on a teenagers face as he opened a package, that he thought was going to be the PlayStation Two he'd purchased on the auction site, eBay. Yes, it contained the console, but it also contained 65,400 euros, which is about £44,000! That's some tidy sum, sadly the money is currently being held by the Police while further investigations are made, but if the money goes unclaimed, then the boy and his family can claim the money, have to wait till September and see what happens. But the look on his face must have been priceless! How come things like that never happen to me?

It's sunny down here in Brighton, which is nice, although, I dont want to veture to far from the sofa and the bed. I've no longer got the trots, but I still feel low, lack energy and a body full of aches, so, to me it matters little what the weather outside is doing.

Fresh talent!

This is night three of my four nights on, or at least it would be if I wasn't a sickie bunny, I've called in sick with cold, flu and the trots which isn't pleasant in the least. I'm sure it has something to do with the stress of the past shift and all that disciplinary stuff that has been going on. Oh and while we are on that subject, can I just say thank you to Tom of Worthing, Rich in Chicago, Grouse and Jerry for your supportive comments, they really do mean a lot, so I truly do thank you guys. I also want to apologise to a work colleague, who has rather taken exception and offence at what I wrote here on the blog in the 'Good cop, Bad cop' I never meant to cause offence to you or anyone. Maybe I was a little over sensitive, maybe if what had already happened that night, hadn't have happened then I wouldn't have been in the subdued and perhaps a little oversensitive as I was and things wouldn't have bothered me as much as they did. I wrote what I wrote because it was how I was feeling at the time.

Maybe, I should just stick clear of writing about work colleagues in future, but I think her reaction to my scribblings on the blog just go to highlight that there is always two sides to every story. Two sides, two truths, two reactions, two beliefs and sometimes two completely different opinions of what happened and how some little things shape the future. A lesson to learn to learn would be to constantly see things from the perspective of others, for that may not always see things the way you do!

How would you like to be sunning yourself on the island of Mauritius, staying at a four star Le Meridien resort? Sounds nice doesn't it, sounds even nicer if it you could have all this for free for a week. Well gang, you can, enter this compo and you may be enjoying those beaches and that lifestyle! visit: http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/comp/mauritius.asp

Still got the desire to enter another competition? Well, here ya go, here's another one that you may wish to visit the following site to win a wonderful weekend away, now who says reading this blog wont do anything for ya! Because if you win this one, you and your guest will be staying at this fantastic five-star hotel for two days and two nights, plus they will even give you first class rail travel http://www.firstgreatwestern.co.uk/Content.aspx?id=1470

I feel a little bit like Simon Cowell now, but I wanna introduce you to some new talent. I came across the following video on YouTube and thought the young guy was so good that I just had to share it with you. He's 20, his name is Ben and I hope you agree that he has a really great voice and is a talented young man, he's not bad looking either, so I would expect (and sincerely hope) that we'll be seeing a lot more of this young fella in the not too distant future.

It's a great cover of an old John Denver track This Old Guitar, which moved me the first couple of times I heard it. Ben's voice has such a sweet quality to it that it adds feeling and depth to the track. He's uploaded a couple of other tracks which go a little way to highlight his talents. I've sent him a couple of messages and asked for a couple of requests which I look forward to sharing with you when the young fella has time to record them.

Ok, that's ya lot for now, but before I pop off, he's another of those sayins from the mouths of babes.

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

She's so not Posh

OK, hand's up here, I've never been a massive Spice fan, Spice Girls that is. The most useless one of the five to me was always Posh Spice, Victoria. She was so untalented that even in their first video she was only seen for about 20 seconds! Her solo records went down, ermm well actually they just went down! I always thought she was a bit of a waste of space, she was just a wag, but I may have been wrong! It's not often you hear me admit that I might have got things not quite correct, but hand's up, that's what I'm doing!

I've just watched the TV documentary on ITV about Posh in America and it was such a laugh, so comical I could hardly contain my giggles. That girl is so so not posh, she's a common as a little girl from Essex, but with the added bonus of a few million in the bank. She sounded very down to earth in places and down right common in others. "These shorts are going right up my crutch" Yes, she said that, it was so funny, there she was, in heels all the time as she tottered about house hunting for the move over to LA. It was an up close and personal 'follow around' kind of documentary and the camera crew spent a lot of time with them and by god it was funny. I take back pretty much everything I've ever said about her in the past, she's a cracker, a right funny girl. The only problem is, I have no idea what was intentional and what was not, to be honest, I don't think she did either. Great TV!

However, Great TV is not what American's are making of the show! It appears that our state side friends don't see much about Posh that is all that different from 100's of other rich wives! Oh well, never mind, with that ammount of money who really cares. And all this is before Becham himself has even kicked a ball for LA Galaxy!

There's a new giant in Dorset! Yes along side the historic Cerne Abbas giant in deepest darkest Dorset has appeared one of the biggest publicity stunts I've ever seen! The figure, representing Homer Simpson in his Y-fronts holding up a doughnut, is standing to the left of the chalk giant, whose big willy is said to increase fertility. The cartoon character was drawn on the hill slope to promote the new Simpson's movie, which will be released later this month. He was painted with water-based biodegradable paint that will wash away when it rains, hopefully. Oh and I can exclusively reveal, that in the film, there is full frontal nudity, Bart skates through Springfield in the nuddy and you actually get to see his doodle!

Could it be the start of the cold war again? It would seem that the British and the Russian governments are having a little spat at the moment. It all stems from the poisoning of an ex spy, Alexander Litvinenko died last November from a fatal dose of the radioactive isotope polonium 210. The murder has sparked a diplomatic rift with Russia. The Crown Prosecution Service named Andrei Lugovoy, a former KGB bodyguard of Mr Putin, as the chief suspect and demanded his extradition. Lugovoy denies murdering Mr Litvinenko and Russia have said there is no way Lugovoy will be extradited. So we expel 4 Rusiian diplomats/spy's and now, it's up to Russia, we have to wait to see what they are going to do? Could it be a cold war all over again, or is it just a storm in a teacup??

That's ya lot for today, well, OK, just another little funny from the mouths of babes!

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later..."Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Inter web thing

Hello Jo, welcome t0 this interwebnet thingy! At last!!!!!

Do we talk a different language!

I'm feeling in a rather retrospective mood today, it's a bright beautiful Sunday here in Brighton, England. I've done a bit of grocery shopping, I've had a little walk along the prom, looked out at the sea and wondered how high the water line will be when the global warming after the climate change takes it's toll.

Of course when I did my grocery shopping, I took my 'Bag For Life' with me to pack my goodies in for the short walk home. Bag For Life is what most of the major supermarkets are selling these days. You buy a bag for 10p or whatever, then reuse it, when it wears out, you take it to the supermarket and they give you a new one for free. It's not about money, it's about saving resources. It's a good idea, but as I was packing my shopping, I noticed that I was the only one using a Bag For Life! All those carrier bags, all that waste, it'll pretty much all get thrown into landfill refuse sites before not too long. And, I'm not even going to think about all the energy wasted in making the bags, transporting them to the supermarkets and all that! I mentioned this to Mo the other day, but she wont use the Bag For Life, because it's only 10p and she cant be bothered with the hassle!

Ok, she's very a different generation, although when I first moved down this way, she didn't recycle at all. But with a lot of careful and tactful persuasion, she's now a recycling queen. But it's has me thinking, it seem that I blame the previous generation for the state of our planet, but isn't that always the case. Every generation, blames the one before, it's almost like we talk a different language, the old don't understand the young and the young resent the old, I think it's always been the same, I remember my grandpa often saying 'The youth of today don't know they are born" when I was a kid and sometimes now, I find myself thinking similar thoughts when I see youngsters mucking about and generally being, well annoying to me, but having fun to them. We all take our lives so seriously, always trying to get a better job, make more money, buy a bigger house, go on more expensive holidays, that we sometimes forget that we are just tenants on this world. It doesn't belong to us anymore than it did the previous generation, or the one before that, or the one before that and that. It surely is our duty, to care for this place, the precious ball of wonder that is our home while we pass through it! Sometimes, with out busy lives, with everything going on around us at such a rapid pace, the greatest gift and pleasure we have, is just to stand still and look around once in a while.

I've been trying out my new 'nude flip flops' you know the ones with no flip and no flop! The topless ones, which are basically just a sole. They are kinda surprising and I'm not at all sure they are worth the £14 I paid for them. They feel a bit odd and strange, but I suppose that's only to be expected. They stick to the soles of your feet with this new sticky glue like substance, it's really most bizarre. when you touch it, it feels very sticky like putting your hands on treacle, yet pulling your fingers away the substance stays on the shoe. Well ok, you cant really call it a shoe, but you know what I mean. It was kinda hard to take them off and it tickles when you do, by the way. My feet were not sticky and I easily put them back to my feet and they stuck! Apparently you just need to wash them in warm soapy water every once in a while to make the stickiness stuff come back to full strength, I'll wait and see on that score. I think these are a bit of a novelty item, but I sure got plenty of attention as I walked down St James Street with them on!

Nude!

Now with feet!

Top celeb chef Gordon Ramsey was in town the other week, just down the road from me, He was filming another one of his kitchen nightmares shows at Ruby Tates, seafood restaurants on St James Street. One of my work collegues spotted him out side the small fishy eattery and another collegue was in there having dinner while filming was taking place. She said he was very nice and pleasent and friendly with hardly a swear word popping out of his mouth - most unlike him! I wonder if there will be any fake scenes in this show? It seems there is a bit of a reputation for fakery in Gordon's TV shows. He was accused of it a year or so back by the Evening Standadr news paper. He took them to court and won, then just recently, a guy in America is going to court over allagations that Ramsay faked bit's of his American show in the same vain. Now, it's come to light that there's been more fakery in another of his shows - The F Word, channel 4 have admitted that a scene of Gordon spear fishing, claiming to have speared a couple of seabass was indeed faked for the cameras. The fish were caught earlier by a local expert and Ramsay nabbed, in his words "Fuck all!"

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but itwas dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' in it's ear and it didn't move

More soon !

Good bye New York! Hello LA

Well, here we are, I've had a pretty horrid time with the work aspect of my life this week, I psyched myself up for the second meeting of this whole disciplinary process for 8pm last night when I was told that I was going to have the meeting. I was told by my leader (bad cop) that she wasn't ready for me, that it would be a little while yet. Eventually we had the meeting at around 10pm. She informed me that it was a Stage One disciplinary, no more incentives (not that I have ever had any!) No more trips, so I can kiss goodbye the trip to New York later this month and the trip up to Hambleton Hall in September! No suspension though (well it would leave the team short staffed!)

I have the right to appeal the decision in writing, within 5 days, to the manager of the whole department, however, my manager doesn't recommend that. The last guy that did that, was hounded out of the company. Each time he appealed, he won, yet the very next day, they found another reason to invoke the procedure, he won on three appeals but after the forth it was all too much for him!

I don't know if I'm going to appeal yet, however, I'm going to raise a completely different complaint against the company on the way I have been treated. Fairly, not a bloody chance, so I'll give you more on that when I've done the complaint. Of course you do know that if I'd have been straight or a woman, then none of this would have happened.

Now, hey lets get on with some happy, non work related stuff, it's hello LA from the Beckhams! Oh yeap, the Beckhams made their very public arrival in the Californian sun and he new footballing home, LA Galaxy, opps, just like Beck's I've slipped up there! It's not football over there is it? Nope, they call it soccer, Beck's hasn't got used to that yet but am sure he will. Posh was there as well, playing Hollywood at it's own game and winning. But by god, doesn't she look slim and thin and below her supposed size zero. Ya know if you dont look too carefully, these days she's looking more and more like a 12 year old boy wearing false tits! She milked the limelight and the attention, by posing for the assembled mass ranks of photographers and Hollywood hacks for a good 5 mins. It was almost the same at LAX airport when they arrived stateside, this is obviously the Hollywood publicity machine working overtime and at full speed!

David, still looking good even at his age, OK, yeah yeah he's younger than me - just, but you know what I mean. For a football, strike that, soccer player, he's in the final couple of years of his playing life. But, hey having said that, he did wow the crowds in the last couple of times he's played for England, so who knows, there is still a lot of life left in that old dog. Although, how his new team mates react to him in the knowledge that he earns more in a week than they earn in a year is any ones guess.

It is kinda strange that one of the World's largest countries, isn't, up until now, been pretty much in the World's most played and popular sport! Maybe Becks will change all that, by the hype surrounding his arrival, he might just succeed.

Get ready for another round of Potter mania as the latest blockbuster movie in the series hits the big screens. SB, a friend from the other side of the puddle has always seen in and has loved the latest exploits of the boy wizard. SB and his movie going pals, all donned Harry Potter glasses to watch the screening, which must have been a sight in itself. I must admit I'm not a huge Potter fan, although I have liked each of the films, it's just I don't wet my nickers over them. Although, I did happen to see him, Harry Potter actor, Daniel Radcliffe running around naked on stage in the West End play Equus a few months back. Which could be describe as a little bit of fandom behaviour, I suppose, so I'll probably go see the movie.

Beck's and his Mrs are not the only Brits hopeing to make it big over that side of the Atlantic. Nope, Matt Lucas and David Walliams are to make a US version of Little Britain, it was announced today! The pair have landed their own show on TV channel HBO. The series will feature a mix of brand new characters and Little Britain favourites - although American audiences might find themselves completely gobsmacked "yeah but no but yeah but know but yeah" teenager Vicky Pollard and "I am the only gay in the village" Daffyd. David (knobhead) Walliams said: "The new series will be a sketch show set in contemporary America. "We are taking some existing characters and writing new material for them, as well as introducing new characters and ideas. " We're very keen to take Little Britain to as wide an audience as possible, so we're looking forward to working in the States."

Finally, something to make you smile, a friend emailed me and advertisement regarding a new product from McDonald's! Hummmm I wonder!

Good cop, bad cop, fair cop?

What a night! Phew I have to say it's been one of the most horrid nights of my working life! Clearing up after a vomiting dog with diarrhea wasn't even this bad! Breaking my leg dancing on stage on a cruise ship was a piece of cake compared to the night I've just experienced!

First of all I had my disciplinary meeting at 8pm as soon as I walked in the building. I faced two managers across the desk of a windowless cell, oops I mean office. They were obviously doing there best good cop / bad cop routine, and do it well, they did. I wouldn't have minded if I'd done something hideous, been guilty of some heinous crime, sold trade secrets, lost the company thousands or sworn at a customer. Nope, my crime and the reason for this disciplinary, was to fail to offer to call a hotel for a client, not refuse to do it, just not offer to do it. Did the client complain? Nope. Was he unhappy? Nope Did I lie? Nope. But apparently that's beside the point and not relevant!

At the end of this disciplinary meeting I was told by the 'Bad Cop' that they were now going to take 24 hours to consider the next course of action the company will take against me. It could be a letter of concern, or it could be a stage one, which is a suspension, withdrawal of any incentives and trips (goodbye New York) or a stage two, which is the sack!

Now, if it's a stage two, that means I cant be trusted to do the job, and if it's that case, then why am I trusted to do the job for the 24 hours between the meeting and the decision being made and notified to me. Well, I'll give you a clue, the office would have been short staffed!!

As I'm sure you can imagine, I was in a rather subdued mood for the rest of my night, however, I was professional and kept myself to myself and did my work. All was well until one of my work colleagues, asked for help and called me over. While I was giving the said help and advising her what needed to be done, on what actually is and has always been part of her job, she proceeded to shout at me! OK, now this lady is a bit on the loud side, I can always cope with that, I take it in good humour. What really got my back up, is when she did exactly the same less that thirty minutes later!

Did I bite back? Nope, I'm good like that, I can't stand arguments or bad feeling, so I kept me trap shut. About an hour later, this woman starts up a conversation with another work colleague about the virtues of a specialist restaurant in London called St John. She delighted in going over board on descriptions of items on the menu with graphic detail at a fraction off shouting volume. You may think that isn't bad, however let me give you some of those dishes on the menu, rolled pig spleen, bone marrow and parsley salad, pig brain omelet, chitterlings and widgeon. Now she knows I'm a vegetarian, my other work colleagues informed her that they were feeling rather sick with the gab about pig and cow innards, yet go on? She did. I have to say it turned my stomach! Was she doing this on purpose , I couldn't possibly say, but walking out of that building this morning, made me wish I didn't have to work for a living anymore! There's gotta be more to life than this!

Oh well, I've got to sleep now, before I go in to work for to night, possibly for the very last time, well it will be if it's a stage two!

Thanks to Tom and Jerry for your kind words, if it goes to a stage two, then you'll hear about the homophobic attitude of a very well known company that's whole business is built on it's reputation, so too will the readership of a national magazine, whose features editor is a personal friend!

No Man's Land!

Well, night two of four has been completed, without a major hitch, huddle or other hullabaloo and I'm glad that's over with. I have yet to have my disciplinary, I had a call while I was dozing before my shirt on Monday, to say that the company procedure stipulates that I have to have written notification of such a procedure at least 2 days prior to it, so therefore I couldn't have it on Monday as I only got the letter then and now I have to have it today. So at 8pm this evening I'm having the hearing and then I'll find what fate befalls me.

Forgetting about work for a moment, I hear that the Madge movie, Desperately Seeking Susan is going to be a West End musical with the title of Blondie. I know for a fact that my work colleague David will be one of the first to go and see it. He's a bit of a Madge fan, so I'll hear more details every step of the way. He's also a bit of a Spice Girls fan, he's registered and had me register for tickets for their reunion tour at the end of the year. But, not only that, he's also been in touch with a good ticket tout in the States to see if they can get tickets for the gig. This is all before we know exactly how much the tickets will be, when they go on sale and all the other details needed to make a decision. So, I guess, yes, you could say he's a fan of girl power!

Did you hear about the bride who got arrested on her wedding day? It's true, this woman got arrested and fined on her wedding day for stabbing someone with her stiletto shoe. But whom did she attack? The groom of course! Wonderful start to wedded bliss, I don't think!

Fancy a new home with a view and no noisy neighbours? I've got just the place for you, it's on sale today and is miles and miles away for your nearest Neighbours. This property benefits for stunning sea views, is luxurious appointed and was once used for filming of Dr Who. Nope, I'm not re-training for a career as an estate agent, but I heard this property was up for grabs and wanted to take a look, but I've found it's way outside my price range. I'm talking about No Man's Land Fort which has gone on sale today, No Man's Land Fort is in the Solent near Portsmouth, hence the great sea views! It was was built way back in the 1860s, long before my time (Although David might remember it!) It was designed to fight off an invasion by France, which was a big thing in those days, don't want the Frenchies to take over us 'roast beef'!

In October 1971, its exterior featured in an episode of Doctor Who called The Sea Devils with actor Jon Pertwee. The fort - converted into a hotel - has hospitality suites, helipads, an indoor swimming pool, a gym and a roof garden and sounds absolutely wonderful. I'd love to live there, you'd all be welcome to come and visit if you wanted, although I'm pretty sure it doesn't have an Internet broadband connection as it's a few miles out to sea, and it's a bit of a trek to pop to the local shops and finally I'm pretty sure the local pizza, Chinese, Indian and Thai wont deliver!

So do you fancy coming in with me to buy this Fort? They estimate it will cost a cool £3.5 million - small change then!"

Well, I'm off for a snooze, more soon. Oh and thanks Tom for your comments, musch appreciated. Oh and actually, I just have to say a big hello to Will, a funky dudester from Crawley and another star spotter or do I mean stalker? Here is Will doing a bit of stalking, errm I mean spotting!

Live Earth, on ya bike!

Well bugger me with a barge pole, the world hasn't got together like this for ages, it's been a global event and a bloody successful one at that. The global Live Earth concerts all around the world have hopefully raised so much awareness of the global tragedy that may very befall each and every single one of us. Global climate change. I'm not going to go in to the scientific whys, wherefores, reasons, observations and what-not's here, mainly because I don't know them all and this is a fun blog of my life and not a science journal. But one thing is clear, we can all do our bit to help protect this fragile ball we all live on. Yes, you, me, David, Jakey, Sam, Mo, Angus, Tom, Simon, Jo, Carolyn, Rufus, Donovan, Pete, Chris, Claire, Runi, Tippy, Dan, Nyree, Rachael, David, Ed, the boys in the bar, the lovely lesbians, the cute bar man, the funky shop assistant and the old woman who lives down the roan and the right moaners next door - the time is now to do our bit! We have to help prevent the very exsticntion of our own very existence!

Switch to energy saving light bulbs, turn off appliances when not in use, don't leave TV's and videos on stand-by, do full loads in washing machines, recycle everything that can be recycled, use bikes or walk when you can, car share, whatever you do, think about the planet you live on before you do it. Do you really need your two litre car to go and fetch a litre of milk? Does that light need to be on? Can you turn the washing machine tempiture down? Our land is most precious, and lets face it they are not making any more of it. OK, so I think I've got the message across!

The concert was a blast today, watched it on the BBC and surely wished I'd got myself a ticket as it looks an amazing day and night. So many great names in the music and entertainment world got together to bang the drum to save energy. Pussy Cat Dolls, Spinal Tap, Duran Duran, The Beastie Boys, Genesis, James Blunt, Matallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow Patrol were some of the people at the London in Wembley.

It was an amazing gig, I really enjoyed what I've seen and I have to take my hat off to the closing act, Madonna, she was fucking amazing. 100% superstar giving a superstar performance. I loved the introduction that Sir Terrance Stamp did, when all the lights in Wembley went out, it was an amazing sight, very poetic and strangely beautiful. Then Madge took the spotlight and rocked the city!

But it wasn't just here that the star's sang and the music played to save the world, no, first up was Sydney at 1am our time, where a reformed New Zealand group Crowded House, who were joined by many of the other Sydney performers at the end of their set, for a rendition of the 1991 hit Weather with You. A couple of hours later, Tokyo took on the concert fever. Among the performers in Tokyo was the fab US group Linkin Park, who rocked and rolled. " I don't have any delusions of grandeur that Linkin Park is saving the world," their bassist, Phoenix told the BBC News, "But it's our goal to do what we can to make it possible for our kids to have a place to live, and, at the same time, hopefully clean up where we live in the process."

The music continued in South Africa when the Johannesburg concert kicked off at around 11 GMT. Then there was concerts in Shanghai, Hamburg, London, Washington, New York and finishing this world wide event will be the show in Rio. In musical terms it's been a major triumph, but in the awareness of climate change and protecting the earth, has it done any good? I guess we'll have to wait to find that one out!

Another strange sight in London today was the start of a very famous cycle race, the Tour De France! Yep, the first stage of this mammoth cycle race started here in good old England's capital city for the very first time. I saw some of the coverage on telly earlier and it looked a very impressive sight. To me it felt like it was a symbol that, whilst we've been linked so much with America recently - Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq and all that, we're still closer to, and part of Europe, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

Beckham's good for business and may just prove he's worth the £128 million LA Galaxy are going to be paying him. His former club, Real Madrid have revealed that the super soccer playing hunksome Becks has earned the club just under £300 million in the four years he's been there. The club reportedly sold one million shirts within the first six months of Beckham's arrival and the money continued to roll in over the course of his contract at the Bernabeu.

"In four years that Beckham played in Madrid we have generated more than €440 million (£298.2m) in marketing and commercial activities," said club marketing director Jose Sanchez. That kinda makes him a very valuable person in terms of revenue generation. Will he still be such a draw in a country where football is known as soccer and is about as popular as an ice cube at the North Pole?

Right, I've taken up more than enough of your time today, go save some energy, be good and look after yourself. Come back soon and help keep me company!

Pub lunch

It's been a wonderfully warm day in Brighton, I enjoyed a lovely pub lunch with Mo, who is as brown as anything from her holiday and her lovely new foster child, called Samantha.

It was so nice to see her and meet her new girl, nice meal, a drink and then they came back to little Shaw Towers, where they posed for this little piccie. If you're wondering what they've got in their mits, they are holding the new Sex And The Sea Front postcard. Was so nice to have them over, Sam's hair is soo long and lovely and I wish I had it, ya never know, she may just give it to me!

More life in the city!

Hey, it's the first night off for me and boy am I glad, it's been a bugger of a shift, it started well and then got stedily worse. Ended up with me doing a crap call and being told that when I go back to work in four nights time that I have to go to a discipliary. Mind you, I'm not surprised, it was a pretty shit call, but more so, the manager has got it in for me, I think she has a thing about gay guys and not in a good way! More on that next week, after they give me a disciplinary, whatever that may be!

But folks the hot news of the day could be that there is more life in the city! Yep, it's been reported by various news agencies that the girls are getting back together. Nope, I'm not harping on about the Spice Girls reunion tour, I'm on an altogether different plane, I'm talking of the reverlation that Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all signed up to reprise their roles for a movie version of Sex And The City!

This is obviously good news for me as a bit of a fan of the said show, well come on, where do you thik I came up with the name for this blog! Oh you thought it was a