Knickers & Oscars

What's your knicker draw like? Tidy? Messy? Or perhaps your undergear is scattered all over your bedroom floor! Apparently the state of your underwear storage says a great deal about you and your psychological mind state. Now I like psychology, but I'm not too sure really what you can possibly work out from someones pants draw. I mean, does all neat and tidy rows of under crackers mean you're a tidy person with a tidy compartmentalised mind. Or if it's a jumble is that an indication that your one of life's mucking fuddled people? If those under crackers of yours don't have a proper home, does that mean you're lacking any rotes yourself? Hummm I'm not sure, it could mean that if it's tidy you've had more time on your hands than if it's all messy. Anyway, just for fun, I thought I'd show you the place where my pants are stored, so you can make up your own mind. Feel free to have a peek into my world, comment on my clothing of the under variety if you so desire.

Oh must say hello to Angus, I met up with him yesterday at lunch time, my lunch time that was, he's been out for the evening with friends and text me to say he was in the Bulldog, as it was coming up to 1am, I felt it would only be fair to pop down the road and see the Scottish wonder for a while. So that I did, the door staff wanted to take my fingerprints or something, but I'm a member, so that really shouldn't be needed, anyway they let me in and there was Angus propping the bar up. It was so nice to see him and we had a good giggle. It's quite funny when you're in a pub full of drunk, merry or tipsy people and you yourself are stone cold sober, you notice far more and are awear of everything around you. And, now I kinda feel sorry for the bar staff in a busy late night pub, they have to put up with quite a lot. I downed a couple of pints whilst nattering to Angus and at the end of my break time I really wished I didn't have to return the the hell on earth that is work.

Overnight our time and yesterday there time, it's been the the pinnacle of the movie making year, yes their crowning moment, the ceremony of all ceremonies, yeah the Oscar's night. I was at work and sadly, despite how I tried, I couldn't get live streaming on the Internet to work. David and I came back to Jordan towers during lunch and tried to catch some of it on the news, alas we saw little, but it was good to get away from the office.

I am so so so pleased that out very own Dame Helen Mirren won the Oscar for her role as HRH The Queen in the film of the same name. It was hotly tipped and in my humble opinion, richly deserved. She looked wonderful and glowing during her acceptance speech and subsequent interviews, although I wasn't too sure about her frock. Mind you it was Christian Lacroix, sweetie!

I was a little disappointed that Leo didn't get the statue for his Danny Archer in Blood Diamond as I thought it was his finest performance to date. However best actor went to Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland, which I'm sure Angus would enjoy! Apart from our Helen, there wasn't many exciting moments, still hey never mind. It was presented by Ellen and she's a lovely girl, I loved her sitcom Ellen and her chat show on American TV is ranked highly, plus it's great to see a nice looking lesbian doing so well in yanky TV.

Right, that's more than enough from me, it's long past my bed time!

Blood Diamond & Norton

Hey funky friends yesterday I went to the cinema with the Scottish one, Angus, we saw Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond, well we did after a marathon walk then entire length of the marina in search of Alcohol! Angus I am pleased to inform remained alcohol free and so did I, OK, so I had one bottle of beer, but that is hardly alcohol, I mean it's in a bottle!

Anyway we took our seats, OK, we didn't take them anywhere, we just sat in them, so why do we say we took our seats, because we don't, we may take our position in the seat, but we don't take the seats, if we did I think the cinema management might have something to moan about. But, sorry, I'm drifting away on an verbal cranial tangent here. So the main feature started and off we rode on a roller coaster of violence and blood shed.

Blood Diamond is a pretty graphic movie with such a high body count, but if you can get passed all the death, then you're in for a great ride. Leonardo is looking darn fine in this flick set against the civil war in Sierra Leone. He's looking older, has more lines on his face and his forehead is in a permanent scowl, yet he's looking good and I think that has got to be one of his finest roles. I completely forgot I was watching Leo 'Titanic' DiCarprio and got into the story and his portrayal of Danny Archer, a well connected diamond smuggling ex mercenary. The film deals the the price a country has to pay when two sides collide with such power and hatred. It takes on the story of Solomon Vandy, a simple fisherman, who dreams of the day his young son will one day be a doctor, Solomon is captured by the blood thirsty rebels, the Revolutionary United Front - RUF, and is force to work in the diamond fields. There fields are controlled by the RUF to raise funds for guns. Whilst working in the diamond fields, Solomon finds a huge pink rock diamond, which is probably worth a small country in our artificially high priced diamond markets. He buries this precious stone just before being arrested and sent to a stinking jail.

Danny Archer makes a living smuggling diamonds accross the border and taking them to the big diamond houses, where the diamonds are kept back to keep the prices high. He's a soldier of fortune and supposedly was a member of 32 Battalion, one of the most decorated and now most hated regiment os the South African army. Smuggling doesn't always go to plan, he get's caught!

Archer, just happens to be in that very same jail ( oh the magical coincidence of film) for smuggling, however through his connections, manages to buy his way out, but not after hearing about the massive pink diamond. He arranges for Solomon to be released and after a while the two form a very unlikely alliance.

There are many dark and savage moments during the film, which are disturbing, for example where the RUF cut of hands. Little is made of this point in the movie, but it was widely done by the real RUF in the 1990's to stop people voting in the forthcoming elections. Something that's not in the movie and perhaps should be is how America was secretly selling arms to the Government back troops as well as buying smuggled diamonds from conflict zones. The complete lack of interest the west showed during the horrific conflict is highlighted by a show at a refugee camp, that pulls at ones heart strings.

During the film we see a strong bond between Archer and Vandy formed and tested and one of the most touching scenes is toward then end, don't worry I'm not going to spoil the plot and the ending here, yet it was just a tad surprising. Another touching moment was when Solomon is properly reunited with his young teenage son, a son of which has been pretty much brainwashed into becoming a child soldier, there were tears on the screen and tears in the audience (mine). There are some 200,000 child soldiers still fighting in Africa according to the film makers, which is so shocking and shaming to the west. However, as this is American film, they carefully lay the blame wholly at Europe's feet, which may or may not be the case.

Wow, look at that, I've nearly done a whole post reviewing one film, gosh, I feel like Jonathon Woss or a young Barry Normal, but hey, it's a really good movie and I enjoyed it. When you realise that the violence, murder and pain is based on reality, it is in fact shocking, but, perhaps more shocking is how little we cared at the time! Go see it!

Right on to lighter things now, a few years after Graham Norton defected to the broken biscuit corporation he finally gets his own show similar to his Channel 4 offering that made his name in telly presenting. His first one hand little Elijah Wood and Sex & The City star Kimmy Catrall and was his funny and slightly seaside postcard smuttiness which is always good viewing. I do like Graham Norton when he's presenting late night chat shows, it's fun and irrelevant and great trashy TV, great to unwind with.

I'm supposed to be going out this evening to Mad Cow at Charles Street, but I've got pretty wrapped in doing this post, answering emails, and nattering to a couple of bod's on instant messaging, so I think I'll just stay in instead.

Oh and Skins is now on, so I have to watch that slice of youth drama, gotta keep young after all. If you haven't seen it, you should, it give a great take on the lives of the youth of today, all party, drugs, shaggin, anorexia, pain, fights, abandonment and everything fun. Oh and the star's of TV in my youth keep turning up are parents in the show, scary but true! Harry Enfield, Neil Morrissy, Jodie Lawrence and that woman whose name I forget! I guess it's a sign of getting older, but in my day the parties and drug taking happened in my early 20's (oh and early30's!) but I guess that's the way it goes, it just happens at an earlier age than it used to.

Ok, that's ya lot for now. peace and love! Oh and if you are going to buy diamonds, make sure they are conflict free!

Lazy days & holidaze!

I've had a pretty lazy day today for sure, late up and looked out the window, was going to go for a ride but it was all damp and gloomy, so I snuggled in bed for a little while. Jake came around in the afternoon and we've had an afternoon of vegging out on the sofa, watching afternoon 'made-for-tv' movies, snacking out and drinking - first tea and then G&T's! We probably would have still been laying together snuggled on my rather uncomfortable sofa with the duvet wrapped around us, had he not had a call from a 'regular' wanting his services.

I said farewell to Jake and wished him good fortune, I know it sounds kinda patronising and makes me sound like an old fart, but, I'm kinda proud of him. I mean, he's 21, he's putting himself through university, earning all his own money and paying all his own bills, he's self reliant, so well done Jakey!

The trouble with working nights is that you get used to sleeping during the day and working through the night, that now at this time, 11.30pm I'm wide awake with no signs of sleep coming my way before 3am.

Oh, my tickets for Equus arrived in the post today, which I'm really pleased about, I'm looking forward to the night out to the theatre. No, not just because I'll be seeing Daniel Radcliffe's dangly bits and bobs wobbling on stage, but because I'm going up with David and he's always a giggle. Plus, it's a proper stage production, a play rather than a musical and on top of that it's got a psychological aspect, which is my kinda thing, a chance to expand my mind.

That's not to say that I'm not looking forward to seeing Cabaret a couple of days before, I am, but that's a different kind of enjoyment really. That's more a giggle, drinkie, show social sort of enjoyment.

Sydney was buzzing yesterday, not only is it halfway through the gay pride mardi grais festival, but another couple of queens sailed into the city! No, me and David weren't on an away-gay trip, but the Queen Mary and the QE2 sailed into the city much to the amusement of the locals and a few of the other type of queens on the dockside. After all, everyone know, all the nice boys love a sailor! There ya go, a sight you don't see every day, two queen in the harbour, or do you?

There's 19 days to go before Jo and Carolyn's big day and I have not even started on a good speech for the celebrations yet. I better start writing soon, I mean I've got this big speech to write and it's gotta be clean, which means everything I've thought of before is pretty much out the window. I have thought of one thing, I can say how me and Jo first met -"Jo and I have known each other a long time, a very long time, in fact I wasn't always this vision of sophistication you see before you today. Nope, I first met Jo I was a little more uncouth, I saw her sitting there, years and years ago, I went to same hello, and made her acquaintance by pissing in her sandpit, mind you we were 4 and at nursery school" Hows that? Any good?

Apparently Will Young has snubbed Graham Norton, romantically. Yes, little Willy said he "could never go out with you" To the Irish TV presenter "It would kill my career" I'm sure that's not the only reason why sexy looking William turned down the 40 something chubby Norton!

Ohhhh, I almost forgot, Jakey gave me a snippet of gossip that he knew I'd enjoy, so according to Jakey, Kim 'Goddess' Cattrall, has not ruled out doing a movie version of 'Sex And The City'! Apparently she's said in an interview that she might be up for it, SJP has always been up for it, but the two stars had a falling out during the last series of the top TV prog. However, they may yet reunite and do a movie! Oh I so hope so, that was great American TV. (Look where else do you think I got inspiration for the name for this blog from?)

One last thing, head watch, my hairs grown and so has the beard!

Nice hair cut!

It's been a long hard shirt at work this week and I'm glad it's over, mind you I always feel like that when the work is done. I'm off now for four days and plan to do not very much. Today as a little sleep, a walk along the front and a little shopping - food nothing eciting. I've got Jakey coming around tomorrow, off to the cinema with Angus on Wednesday. Yes, that's right, shock, Angus out in the middle of the week and a non drinking event, ohherr! Thursday I might just pop along to Mad Cow at Charles Street with Rachel, the new girl from work, so that should be fun and it's back to work on Friday night!

What the hell is going on with that mutt Britney Spears? He crazy decision to shave off her hair has made headlines around the world, it's just the latest in a series of craxy mad things that girl has done over the passed couple of months. Apparently she was seen sobbing for a good 10 mins before she went in the salon and demanded to cut her hair off. Then she went and had a tattoo done and then wandered into hospital! Before that Crazy mad is right, it's a long way from the innocent come sexy 'Baby One More Time' was topping the charts on both sides of the pond in 1988. I Bet Justin Timberlake is glad, he's made a lucky escape!

David from work is off to Wales to see his mother this week off, while he's down that way, I wonder if he'll pop into Dorothy's Chip Shop in Cardiff. Mind you, that might be a bit much for him, I know he likes a chip or two, but the Welsh chippy is now famours for producing the worlds largest bag of chips! Yep over a 5 hour stint the chippy produced a 865Ib bag from an amazing 50 sacks of spuds. That's the equivalent of 158,000 chips - a new world record! Now, where's the salt!

I wished I was in Rio over the past couple of days for the wonderous colouful and exciting Carnival, it always looks so exciting and so exotic. The parade is one of the biggest in the world and gets headlines around the world. If I was a rich bugger with money being no object, I'd have a pretty heavy Spring time schedule. First I'd be in London for the Bafta's and then The Brits, after which I'd scoot over to Rio for the carnival. Los Angeles would be the next port of call for the Oscars, when that curtain comes down and some dreams are just scattered on the floor with some sawdust and some glitter it would be time to whip down to Australia for a couple of weeks to enjoy Mardi Gras! The I suppose it would be home for a rest - god if only I was rich, just think of the air miles I would earn!

Alas, I live in the real world and such trips are only food for dreams, the extent of my trips this week will be over to Portslade on the No1!

Harry's crab ladder & Harry goes to war!

I'm a happy bunny today, firstly I'm half way through this bank of 4 nights, 2 down and 2 to go which is so nice. We've had a new girl start and it's been refreshing to have her company and someone new to get to know.

I'm also happy because yesterday I had my tickets confirmed for my trip up to London with Nyree and David from work. We're off to see Cabaret, the show on 28th Feb in the afternoon and then we're going to spend some time in a trendy bar Kensington, so that's something to look forward to. Oh and the tickets have just arrived and ploped through my letter box!

Also, at lunch time this morning, David and I went back to Jordan towers had a natter, had a beer and booked tickets to see Harry's crab ladder on 2nd March. I am of course referring to Daniel Radcliffe who plays Harry Potter in those wizzardly movies stripping naked in the new West End show Equus. We've booked online and got some funky stage seas which are above the stage and promise to give us the chance to 'participate in a wonderful theatrical experience' which I'm looking forward to completely.

Harry goes to war, nope this isn't Harry Potter this time, it's out own Prince Harry who, according to tabloid The Mirror is going to be heading to the war in Iraq shortly. The newspaper says the 22-year-old prince will head for Basra with comrades from the Blues and Royals Regiment within days and will then probably be deployed along the border with Iran.
A senior military source said: "The final details are being sorted, but he is definitely going. Naturally, his royal status has to be taken into account - but he will see action."
Second Lieutenant Harry, who insisted on going, is likely to be in charge of a troop of 12 soldiers in light armoured vehicles.

So apparently our third in line to the throne is going to Iraq to fight for his country and will muck in with all the other troops on the ground. I'm all for it, after all at the end of the day, he's just a 22 year old soldier, OK so he's got a pretty special blood line, but he's just a guy really. I'm sure his mother, who would undoubtedly be worried to death, as most mothers would, but would support his stand to go and do his bit. If the Mirror have got it right, then I applaud him. Hurrah for Harry!

That's ya lot for now, I'm knackered and need to sleep. So have a good one, be good and remember, eggs don't usually bounce!

Complancency

It's another fine day in Gaytropolis, the sun is shining down from a clear blue sky and the waves are breaking gently over the shore and the world is alright. I've been for a little walk along the prom to have the wind in my hair and down a little shopping, which has been quite a nice experience.

I was in the local scummy supermarket, getting a few bits and bobs, I was casting an eye over the washing powders and getting all confused as to which one I should purchase. Bio, non-bio, powder, tablets, gels, to get one specially formulated for colours or one that washes whites whiter, one specially made to clear stains, one for hard water areas, such a wide selection and it's not even a huge supermarket. We have such variety and choice these days, not just on washing powder, but on everything, it's a wonder we can get through shopping in under three hours and also I think we've come to expect such choice, regardless of the environmental costs involved. I think we have become complacent in our everyday lives.

While I was pondering how much more we have at our fingertips these days compared to our parents I saw these young lads, getting some lunch, one was as camp as you like, around about 16 or 17 and was wearing his jeans so low you could see his pants. It was kinda funny, the more he walked, the lower his jeans got, sagging I think they call it, it's more a us trend than over here, but you do see it from the more council estate kids. And this kid was sagging so low that a lil tiny bit more weight in his pockets and they have been at his ankles, showing the world his white boxers, oh well, it takes all sorts to make the world turn.

Last night I was sitting at this old computer chatting to a friend on instant messaging, well actually it was the same friend who was my 'slave' a few days back! It seems he thinks I'm a great master as I think of many different ways for him to get off. Oh well, I've finally found something I'm good at! Anyway, I've drifting off on an tangent here, back to what I was trying to say, there I was typing away when this shrill and loud alarm sounded. First I was shocked outa my seat, didn't know what it was or where it was coming from. I explored the kitchen and it was coming from the fire alarm thing on the ceiling, but I was not in the kitchen and I wasn't cooking. Then it suddenly stopped, I went back to my cam to cam enslaving session with the young lad from up north and thought no more about it. It was only this morning when I ventured out that I noticed that the firm alarm box on the wall in the main entrance hall of the building I love in was lit up like a bloody Christmas tree. 'Ahh so that's what the noise was last night' It seems that the flat upstairs had set off there smoke detector which then triggered the alarm to let all the other flats in the building that there was a problem. Only it kinda of did and it kinda didn't. It alerted me as the alarm sounded, but I didn't go out and check anything, I didn't evacuate the building, I didn't check to see if my neighbours needed assistance, or if I was gonna be burned alive. It was just another alarm and we hear so many in our modern lives that we just don't bother about them any more. I mean, you hear a car alarm outside, do you run outside to check it out, nope, most of the time you do nothing, occasionally you peek at the window t make sure it's not yours, if it's not return to whatever you were doing before and curse the persons whose alarm it is. We've become complacent towards alarms now, no-one comes running, no-one investigates, no-one bothers, we're all complacent about such things.

Did you See the Brits on TV last night? Nope neither did I, I used to watch it every year it was on, but not this time, but I'm pleased to hear that Take That not only performed on the show but also won the award for best single, the same award they won back in 1996! Their ex bandmate Robbie Williams didn't win one, which has gotta be a first in recent years, he, as we all know is in rehab in the States to combat prescribed drugs! Apparently it was a good gig, although Jakey, who called me this morning and filled me in on the prog said the Russel Brand who hosted was a little bit all over the place and not in a good way. Perhaps the occasion was a little to big for his, ahem, zany approach to presenting.

I've really enjoyed my days off this shift, but alas it's back to work tonight, I'm not looking forward to it, bit of a shame really, still one has to earn the pennies!

Just before I go, I want to leave you with this cutting sent to me by an overseas friend! Have a nice one!

Wedding plans

I had a bust day yesterday, I took the train up to Horley to see my best Buddie Jo, it's strange, when I used to do that train journey on a daily basis I hated it, now that I do it so infrequently, it was rather enjoyable. I got a ticket to Redhill, because I couldn;t find Horley on the ticket machine thing. However, I tried to get off at Horley, which is two stops less than Redhill and the gestapo guards at the ticket barrier didn't want to let me pass through, the buggers. Still got through I did and waited in the rain for Jo to turn up.

While I was waiting I did the shoe lace up for a 17 year old lad with a broken leg who was waiting for a bus, I had that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Just as well really as it was bloody nippy in that wind. Jo called me up and we chatted, I'd forgotten she'd changed her car so I was standing in the rain smiling to this 17 year old with the broken leg who I thing was regretting talking to me in the first place and all the time she was parked up less than 3 feet from me behind a white van wondering where the fuck I was!

Anyhow, we got in the car drove to her place, checked the post, drove to her sisters where she is house sitting and dog sitting for a couple of weeks. Her sister has this big lovely chocolate Labrador called Boris who was obviously pleased to see us and gave us much sniffing and licking. It's so strange how dogs always say their hello's by sniffing you, usually your crutch and then deciding if they like you. Luckily for me Boris liked me, so I made a new friend. Then after a brief pit stop Jo and I were back in the car on the way to Dorking so I could get measured for my suit for her wedding. The wedding is a pretty posh do, all the ushers, of which I am one, have to wear this rather fetching chocolate brown suit complete with Victorian shirts and waistcoats! The whole do is being held at a a rather posh hotel between Redhill and Gatwick. Jo and Carolyn have hired out the whole hotel at the cost of £14 grand! So it's a posh do and I have to wear a suit and I have to make a speech! Eeeks, plus it's got to be a fairly clean speech, so knowing me, that's double eeeks!!

After I had my vitals taken we popped in to see my old mother, nutty as a fruitloop she is, but was good to see her and then it was back to Jo's sisters for a wee rest before I got the choochoo back home! It was a real joy to see her - Jo you foll not my mother, although it was nice to see her as well, but it was a real joy seeing Jo, we don't see each other as much as I would like. Well, what with work and days off not matching and all that, life just gets in the way!

This morning I've done my chores and been on a ride with Mo along the under cliff walk down by the marina which was really nice. SO good to get the old blood pumping and the heart racing and all that, felt blooming wonderful. We stopped off for a pint at the pub in the Marina, I had a veggie burger that was supposed to come with a side salad and chips and I ordered an extra portion of onion rings. I got 6 chips, no salad and 4 soggy onion rings. The burger was pretty crap, I had to smoother it in mustard and mayo to raise a flavour and get any form of taste. I certainly would NOT recommend anyone to east there, so if you've ever down at Brighton Marina and you want some nosh, steer clear of The West Quay, the beers fine, the food not fine at all. I remember being there last year and I had to send my plate back, to actually heat up the food on it!

Robbie Williams has been admitted to a rehab clinic in America on his 33rd birthday to help him overcome an addiction to prescription medication. Oh what a shame, mind you, he's no stranger to rehab, he''s been in them for drink, for drugs, for sex, so now he's in one because he's got a hankering for drugs the doctor gives out. Well he can't be that happy at the mo, his last single bombed, the critics panned it and his former band mates Take That have just had a No1 single, No1 Album and have been nominated for best band at the Brits! Robbie may well feel his career is now over, which, sadly it isn't, but perhaps it should be! Oh I can bitch can't I? Anyway, Robbie's not a regular reader for Sex And The Sea Front so I don't need to worry about hurting his feelings! Or, perhaps it's just a way of gaining publicity for his new single out then of the month!

It could be a good news day for the world, North Korea could disable it's nuclear weapons and shut down it's reactors after marathon talks held in Beijing ended today. They will shut down and not make any weapons in return for oil and economic aid which is so badly needed by the country, so there is hope, a world of peace and harmony, well no but at least it's a step in the right direction.

I wouldn't want to be a soldier in Russia, oh no according to the BBC website, Rusky soldiers are turned into rent boys! Yeap, apparently the Russian military is reported to be investigating claims that army conscripts were forced to work as male prostitutes in St Petersburg. The command of the interior ministry unit denied the claims made by the Soldiers' Mothers human rights group. The group says it was contacted by a parent of a conscript who had been forced to work as a male prostitute, ohhherrr matron! Last year, an 18-year-old soldier was so badly beaten that he had to have his legs and genitals amputated - ouch! It's claimed that older servicemen are said to have forced younger conscripts into prostitution and then taken the money for themselves. Apparently More than 6,000 soldiers were victims of abuse last year, so being a soldier in Russia may not be all it's cracked up to be!

Oh news from across the pond, the good old FBI have done an audit and found that they have lost 160 laptops in the past four years. Some of the lappys contained secret information, one held the personal details of all of their agents and others had software to make FBI Id cards! That's a bit silly if you ask me, almost as silly as them loosing 160 weapons. Ahh but, in actual fact the FBI haven't lost the weapons, nope, they've been "misplaced" The last time they "misplaced" loads of weapons they ended up being used for robberies and murders! What's the FBI Mission? "Protect and defend".... errmmm ok!

Where does the time go?

Can you believe we're almost at the middle of February already, where does the time go, it only seems like the day before yesterday that I was bitching about working over Christmas! It seems to me that the older one gets the faster time flies, quite ironic really. When you're young and have all the time in world, it travels by so slowly. Yet, when you get older, when the time you have left is limited and getting limited by the day, it whizzes passed, while you wish it wouldn't. Still I guess that's life!

The other day I was over in Portslade, seeing Mo after her very own Aussie adventure, I felt envious as she showed me some of the photos from her trip. She flew the 23 hours to go see her friend Sylve, who emigrated there around nice of ten months ago, it's the first time Mo's flown on her own. But she loved it and the photo's show as much. It was really nice to see pics of Sylve and her rather handsome teenage sons, oh and the little cutie 7 year old Jack! Life downunder certainly seems to be suiting them, they've all blossomed and the wide smiles on the faces show true contentment. I wish I was there!

It's always nice to see Mo, not as easy as it was, I used to live just round the corner, now, it's like other ends of town, still as the weather gets better, we'll be able to go on a few more cycle rides and drink it up at the Dyke or various other pubs. Strangely, at the end of all of our previous cycle rides there is a pub!

While I was round there her daughter, whose fast coming up to her 18th, which also makes me feel old, as she was still at school when I moved down this way, showed me her new boyf. Now Nadine, is a proper pretty young woman, has pretty good taste in guys, well she showed me a video on her mobile of her latest beaux. However, this wasn't just a portrate type shot, nope this little moving picture made me blush, yeah me! You see he was playing with his old todger and I must say it was rather an ample todger, Nadine's a lucky girl - sore but lucky. I can't help thinking her new blokey would not be best pleased if he knew she'd been showing his man meat to an old poof like me, so I think it's best we keep this just between us!!

Oh talking about naughty pics and the like, well, I was rather naughty yesterday, I was just checking emails and the like and wondering what the heck I'm going to buy Jo & Carolyn for their forthcoming wedding. When I was hit up on instant messaging but a lad I'd kinda meet on the social networking site Bebo. We had a brief chat, then he bluntly told me that he wanted me to enslave him on webcam! I wasn't quite sure what that meant, however it soon became clear, he wanted me to boss him about, everything I told him, he would do in his bedroom and in clear colourful action thanks to his webcam. So for the next hour I had this young guy basically doing everything I said and he was really getting off on it, lets just say the only thing that was soft was his duvet! I'd never really enslaved anyone before, never thought of myself as a master, but, I have to admit it was kinda horny and ermm rewarding - so thanks Slave boy!

At work David and Nyree have been getting well and truly into the TV Prog 24 with Keifer Sutherland, they've been watching it during breaks. Then after it, they keep using tags from the programme, for example, "Patch me through to division on a secure line" "Whe have an incident at ctu" "I love Jack" ok, the last one isn't from the show, but it's what Nyree keeps saying! I'm a 24 virgin, however Nyree keeps threatening to make that a thing of the past!

Hollyoaks has finally come up with a good gay storyline, well when I say good, I actually mean not bad, but at least it's still mainstream youth TV. There is young Craig and young John Paul, John Paul is gay and has the hots for his best friend Craig, he loves him, plain and simple. Craig, as anyone whose ever watched the programme, just happens to be the campest softie straight boy ever! Anyway, it all came to a head this passed week with the boys sharing a kiss in the back of the gym at a school dance off. I think, far from being John Paul's fault as the big nelly bender, Craig was the one telling his mate 'I love you' and pulling closer for the smacker. Anyway, it all comes out, and somewhere down the line, Craig, in an effort to prove his heterosexuality wallops little cutie John Paul in class. What's going to happen? Will John Paul forgive Craig? Will Craig actually have to guts to confront his own sexuality issues? Will there be gay love blossoming in Chester? You'll have to watch Hollyoaks to find out.

I guess I couldn't really do end this post without the smallest of mentions of the death of Anna Nicole Smith, the white trash former Playboy Playmate who married that rich oil tycoon who was 89 and died 14 months later. As a tribute to her, I'll report the news of her demise in a style shoe would have understood. " Well yeah her, well she's gone, yeah she like died, dead yeah, like alive no more!" Over and out!

Oh and I've just had my weekly fix of Shipwrecked, the Channel 4 reality show about teams on those lovely Pacific Islands. They had a new arrival, a rather boring lad from Scotland, however, he was still a litle bit tastey, mind you I think the makers of the prog have only picked good looking, or fairly good looking people to go to those islands. Rationing on Shark Island is strict under Lorenzo's regime (he's the self apointed leader), but the desire for marshmallows is too much for Joe, who resorts to some desperate measures. He only has to drink half a cup of liquid for one tasty marshmallow, but what is the warm and frothing beverage he must drink? It's his own wee! Euuuukkkkk!! He did it as well, drunk it down like a trouper, all in one! All that for a mallow of the marsh variety, I know I wouldn't!

Right, that's it, this long update is now over and out. I've got a busy day tomorrow, I'm going up to Horley to see Jo, then we're going to Dorking so I can be messured for my suit for her wedding on 10th March. I can't believe it's coming around so soon, it only seems like the day before the day before yesterday that Jo and Carolyn were in Aussie doing pretty much the same thing. Well, just like I said at the start of this post - time flies!!

Fruity life

I've had the weekend off this shift and I've blooming well love it, it's been nice to catch up with some of the old gang. I met up with Jakey for a drinky and also little David which was so nice, although I do have to saw, we did rather do the alcoholic intake. David enthralled us with the twists, turns, ups and downs of his love life, soap operas seem dull and boring in comparison!

It's a strange feeling when you find out that one of your ex lovers is now going out with one of your friends, but that's what happened during David's expose of his love life. He was telling me and Jakey about his new boyf, I thought he sounded familiar, but I didn't put 2 and 2 together until he walked in. This lad, who we'll call Michael (one has to protect the guilty and shame the innocent) bounded in and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. David had no idea that Michael was an ex of mine, from when I used to live up in Crawley, I had no idea David's new bit of stuff was my ex Michael! I was cool about it, welcomed Michael and we all had a chuckle at the situation. Mind you, living in Brighton, it's not surprising, it has always seemed like a bit of an incestuous town. For example, I know a guy called Martin who is going out with Simon who was Marks ex, Mark was Martin's best friend who went out with Paul who was Simon's ex. And to top it all off nicely, Paul just happens to be Martin's new boss, who before he went out with Simon went out with Dean who was Martin's ex!!!

I went for a walk this morning to clear my muzzy head, the sun was high and the skies were blue and the wind was soft and gentle. I headed up the prom towards the marina and then halfway along I turned and headed to the pier. Now, I don't usually go on the pier, well unless I'm with some out-of-townee's, it's just not what local lads do. But today, I took a leisurely walk up and down it and felt warm and fuzzy. I had a vague notion of walking in the past as the the sweet music from the carousel filled the air as I gazed on the rigid bare structure that was once the West Pier. Oh it would have been so nice to have been a Victorian gentleman out promenading in the warm winters sunshine with the young gentleman of my hearts affection strolling beside one.

Right back to real life, congrats to Alexander from Manchester, Sue from West Kent, Ian from London and James from Scotland, they all have 1 one months DVD trial from Love Film. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading.

Head watch now, I'm not sure if the hair has grown that much, although it does look a bit darker, see what you think.

Nice crab ladder!

So here we are again, I'm just been to lunch with David, again tripped off to my place and had a natter while watching the new E4/Channel 4 prog Skins. Skin's is an almost a rite of passage story of a group of teenage colleges kids based in Bristol, it's produced by the same guys that did Shameless. Therefore it's a little strange, a little woo and a little bit rude, just perfect for lunchtime viewing, obviously bearing in mind lunch being 1am. It's actually really good, nice to watch, got some interesting characters, there is an anorexic, a muslim, a virgin, a stud, a slut, a mentally challenged person and a gay boy amoung the gang, so there is something for everyone!

There we watching some boy in his pants drying his wet trousers under a hot air blower in the girls toilets where from out of nowhere David pipes up "Harry Potter, nice crab ladder, who'd have thought it!" I was a little taken back, after all it was a surprise, however I couldn't really disagree with him on that score. Indeed the phrase 'Stairway to heaven' seems to come to mind!

Oh, I saw this thing on David's page, it's a little programme that takes a look at some of the most common words used on the blog and puts them together in the form of a word cloud. I thought 'oh that's clever' and I wondered what words would come out if I did it for Sex And The Sea Front, it's quite amusing - see what you think

So later on this morning I'm gonna be laying on my back with a handsome man putting his tool in my mouth and I'll be paying for the privilege! No, I'm not paying a visit to the Kemptown whore house to dip my wick in someones chocolate starfish, I'm off to the dentist. Yep Mr Christ is going to be filling my gap and plugging my hole and for some bizarre reason, I'm kinda looking forward to it. I'm not sure why, perhaps I'm turning into a misogynist, but it will be good to get it all done and have this rough temporary filling removed.

My appointment isn't till 11.35, which means I'll not get back home till gone 2 and as I'm working tonight, god knows when I'm going to get some sleep! I'm sure I'll fit a couple of hours in there somewhere, in between going to the dentist and the post office and home and all sorts of odd little doings. Only one more night to go, then 4 off, so I'll be able to catch up on sleep then, at least that's the plan and I'm sticking to it!

Oh and whilst CBB has finished and I promised not to mention it again, here I am breaking my promise, just one more time. That awful Jo O'Meara has stated in an interview that she only did the show for the money, yeah like that's news. Also that since she came out the house she's had a few death threats and her life is "shattered". So I see there are good things in life then!

OK, that's it! More soon, till then remember to keep reaching for the stars, but always with your feet firmly planted on the ground!

A naked Harry Potter!

I can honestly say that I neither understand nor like this whole work ethic thing. I've just complete my second of four nights on and I can say with hand on heart, I hate that place. It really is the pits! OK, so I have missed some of the guys I work with, the banter, the jokes we share. But, I haven't missed the dire dross work or the complete knob head's we have to deal with. All I can say, is we do earn every penny of the pittance they call a wage for the twelve hours a night we spend in that place, that we call HELL!

Over the last couple of nights, David and I slopped off to my place at lunch time (1am) had a couple of beers, a natter and a right old bitch session. I feel so much better for it, it's like a stress release valve, it's nice to bitch about the world at times. So thanks David!

One of the things we were chatting about was going up to London to see a couple of shows and one of the plays we want to go and see is Equus at the Gielgud Theatre starring Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel you will probably know better as the lead in the series of mega box office smash hit Harry Potter movies. However his latest part in Equus is about as far removed as you can get from the young bespectacled boy wizard. He plays Alan Strang, a seemingly normal and happy 17 year old with an ordinary loving family and a perfectly normal passion for horses, normal that is until he lashes out in rage one night and blinds six horses with a hoof pick.

Subsequently placed under psychiatric surveillance and plagued by nightmares, Strang must trust a psychiatrist to unlock the puzzles of his mind. OK, so it sounds like hard work, but one of the reasons why I wanna see it is, well it;s the fact that during one scene Daniel strips completely naked. Ohhhherrrr matron, Harry Potter in the nuddy, what a shock. But as the following publicity shots show, he's developed quite nicely from the squeaky little Potter into a handsome young man. I know it sounds a little pervy, but he's only nude in one scene and the story interests me, so in my defence, I'm not going just to ogle his bits 'n' bobs but going for the story as well. Look, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Daniel Radcliffe

Ohh I say!

Another show I want to see is The History Boys, a tale of some unruly but bright and funny sixth formers in pursuit of sex, sport and a place at a top top university. It's about how their conflicting teachers try to aid and support them getting those sought after university places. You'll be pleased to hear that there is no nudity in this show, so I'm not a total perv, there may however be a little gay lusting, but no wobbly bits on show!

I can hardly wait, I really like theatre and musicals and lucky for me, at the work's Christmas do, that I couldn't go to because I was working, I won two tickets for a show of my choice. So the plan is that we would buy another ticket and David, Nyree and myself would troll up to London town and have a good old time! Watch this space and I'll tell you all about it, oh and yes, even the size of it!!

Right I'm off to be for a nice sleep, have two more nights at work and I've got anotherr dental appointment tomorrow morning. Yikes, I'm not looking forward to that, my dentist Christ is finishing off my rote canal work and giving me a filling, I'm bound to have a sore gob at the end of it!