When wrong numbers can be right!

I have now become used to the fact that my home telephone number is just one digit away from a local tyre retailer. I've lost count of the number of calls I've had enquiring about a set of radials from a focus or similar such request. Recently I have 4 messages left on my answer machine for Barry from a Scott, telling him he's moving house and the like. If had a few calls from various companies trying to sell other companies something or other. This morning was another variation of the wrong number which made me chuckle. I stumbled out of bed and 9.30am to reach toe the ringing telephonic receiver, I pulled it to my ear. A disembodied woman's voice instantly sprang to life, she didn't draw breath between telling me she was sorry she hadn't paid for two weeks, she'd been ill, her mother was taken into hospital and her daughter was off school with chicken pox. I finally interjected when it sound as if she were about to burst in to tears as she worked herself into a right old tizzy. It transpired she was attempting to call the credit union and not me, relief all round me things, it sure brightened up my morning!

I think I'm probably unique in my liking for the wrong number scenario, I enjoy them, mind you that could be because I've had a rather pleasant experience from a wrong number that turned out to be a right number in the end! This was a couple of years ago on, I had a text from a number and person I didn't know, it was ermm shall we just say a rather erotic text. I replied, saying whilst doing certain things with chocolate body paint and a can of squirty cream on Saturday night was appealing, I would have to turn the sender down! I was surprised when I had a reply to my reply apologising for the mistake and asking who I was. I replied to their reply of my reply to their message and told them who and where I was. In text speak it's ASL or age, sex, location, I didn't know that at the time but I do now, which just goes to prove you really do learn something new every day! Anyway, I thought no more about it, having guessed that it was either some girl disappointed that her raunchy text had gone to a 30 something Brightonian poof or some young hettie boy equally miffed that his plans to get his end away at the weekend had gone rather extremely astray.

Two hours or so later, I had another text from this mystery button pusher, informing that he was a he, that his location was some town in Surrey and that he was bisexual and that he was sorry for the earlier text and wondered if we might become text mates. Now, I'd never had a text mate before, sure I've text mates but never had a mate from text, and anyone who knows me, knows that I love doing things for the first time, so I fired one back saying sure. A little while later, were were to-ing and fro-ing with snippets of ourselves and our lives. It turned out that he was a young guy, 22 or so (I can't honestly remember now!) and lived not too far away from my old stomping ground as a callow youth. Now, the progression from our written messages was to send picture messages, a big step I know, but hey, in for a penny - in for a pound. This went on for a couple of days and slowly the messages became more erotic and the pictures more revealing until the following Friday when he sent the very first message again, but this time added "this time it really is for you". Ok, I may be slow on the uptake at times, but this time I wasn't and whilst I should have been a bit more guarded, I throw caution to the wayside and we fixed up the details.

Saturday night came and I certainly learnt the chocolate body paint is a nice idea but in the ends it's just a sticky mess on the sheets, squirty cream is fine in small portions but is no substitute for the real thing and bisexuals sure love a bit of cock! We saw each other a number of times over the next few months and the sex was wonderfully passionate, exciting and not short of kinks, but as all good things must come to an end, and so to did the little interlude we shared in each others lives. So there ya go, sometimes wrong numbers can be the right ones in the end!

I'm guilty of being drunk in charge of a credit card today! I met up with little Jakey today and had lunch, well actually he came round to do his washing - long story, and a spot of lunch. So whilst his smalls were spinning around in hot soapy water, Jakey and I strolled down to the beach with a bottle of wine and some sandwiches. Silly me forgot the cork screw, however Jakey soon showed his studenty skills and with the aid of a borrows pen we were supping white wine out of plastic cups. There is a reason why I don't drink white wine, that reason is it makes me tipsy quickly and in the sun with not much to eat that effect is far more rapid. Anyway, after a while of enjoying the sun I walked with Jakey into town and purchased myself a new telly. My last one went wrong a couple of days ago, not sure when, I had it on and was listening to a music channel whilst surfing the net and when I next looked up, the screen was all white, yet the sound was perfect. I guess you can tell I'm not a big telly watcher, but as the telly wound not play DVDs it had to be replaced.

I was about to head off and see the lovely John at the Bang & Olufsen centre and nab myself a massive great big delight, however, I wasn't that drunk and new my meager resources would not stretch that far, despite my desire, so I opted for a cheaper 'make-do' set which is quite nice and bigger than my last one! Sorry John! But I'm still saving up for a phallic blue phone!

Yes - it's a phone!

My new telly has been showing me in wonderful colour the excellent Glastonbury coverage this evening on BBC3. So far I'm seen Bloc Party, Fratellis, Amy Wineglass, the camp but hugely talented Rufus Wainwright, Kasabian and a few others, and probably a lot more than if I was standing in those water logged fields with a a few hundred thousand other folks. I sometimes feel that I should have pulled my finger out and been more on the ball when the tickets first went on sale, but then again looking at the mud and rain today down near Glastonbury Tor, I think again. I'm not really a festival sort of person these days, I like my creature comforts too much, like clean toilets and dry underwear! Still, hey who needs to be there when the BBC are broadcasting so much on BBC 3, BBC 2 and two interactive channels and I'm not even thinking of live radio shows also coming live from the event. So that's what I pay my licence fee for, what a bargain!

Oh before I pop off, I just wanna say how pleased I was to see and hear there was a John Peel stage at Glastonbury this year, show casing new and fresh talent, just like that great master DJ did when he graced us with his being on this place we call earth. And on that note, take a look at this picture of John Peel, on the side of a pub here in Brighton, taken by Dean Harvey on placed on his wonderful blog Brighton Daily Photo. http://www.brightondailyphoto.blogspot.com/

Thanks for your comment Steve, good to hear from you and great that you're reading my little bit of webspace. David is out of town at the moment, that's why I can rest and there's no star stalking to be done!

Thanks also to Jerry from over t'other side of t'pond for your concern over the events of last week. Touching, but then again you are a kind and caring person.

More soon!