Wicked goings on down south!

Welcome to All Hallows eve, the night for ghosts, ghouls and spirits to make their presents felt and come out to play! So far this evening I've had 2 devils, 1 ghost, 3 witches, frankinstein and a talking pumpkin at my door! I could have been worried, I could have called up the vicar of the local parish church of St Useless to exorcise the place. I could of, but I didn't, you see not one of my strange and unworldly visitors was over 4ft5!






Yes ok it was the local kids doing trick or treat and I must say the outfits were pretty impressive, very effective, all perfect. The parents in this street must have spent a small fortune on kitting out their offspring for just a few hours worth of fun. The talking pumpkins boy had to be the cutest outfit, I guess he was bout 5 or 6 and his lil pumpkin outfit was pretty much the size of him, bless.

Still it wasn't always like that, where I used to live, the local neighborhood kids used to come round trick or treating damping hard cash and mobile phones! If you didn't give them a tenner you'd more than likely wake up with a lighted banger pushed through ya letterbox or a tin of pain splattered all over your front door!

last week at work was pretty non-description, just the usual crap really, although the only good thing was that I went down the pub on the first night with David which was cool. We had a laugh and a joke and a gossip. Oh and he's invited me to go see Wicked with him next month. Now that's gonna be a fun night out. Wicked, if you didn't know is the untold story of witches of The wizard Of Oz, the captivating stage show tells the tale of how a green girl called Elphaba becomes wicked and her unlikely friend Glinda becomes good. It's won over 15 major awards so it's bound to be a good show!

Oh, the night before this past shift, we had a work function to go to, Lisa and I held up our teams reputation, at least until we both got drunk! By the time the sun came up the following morning one of us had been nicked and for the other a strange man was getting out of their bed - but who did what?

More soon!

At last - holiday snaps!

Well ok it's been a long time, a very long time, but, here at last are a few photographs from my holiday with Mo in Dom Rep!

It's our Mo, floating in the pool

Me 'de-stressing' by the pool - in other words - sleeping!

Miles of empty space where the crops grow well!

Note the beer bottle between my legs!

Eatting again!

Such a hard life!

Hello sailor!!

Mo wears my pants!!!

Glitter and sawdust!

The rain started to fall this afternoon at about 2 and so far it hasnt stopped, which has kinda put my plans of cycling to Newhaven and back this afternoon well and truely down the plughole of life. Still hey, I've fixed the new lights to my bkikes that I purchased a week or so ago, so now I have no excuse not to ride my bike to work. (Except that I'm a lazy fucker!)



I walked into town to get some cash, post some leters and buy some stamps, all of whice I did just before the weather turned wet. I also nabbed a couple of fruit smoothies from the chiller in Tesco's. I choose three of the Innocent drinks range and I'm blooming glad I did, they're excellent. Ok, so they are not the cheapest, but the taste was out of this world and the packageing has to be some of the best designed in the business. Simple and cute, for example the ingredients list tells you exactly whats on the carton, for example "9 pressed apples, 2 crushed mangoes............" from reading the carton, it's like the drink is made by friends and they like a laugh whilst producing great and healthy drinks. They really are yummy! If you ask me, you really need to get Innocent right now!

Maybe it's a sign that winter is here, but there seems to be a glut of good movies around at the moment, that I wanna see. First, The Devil Wear's Prada, which is a hot flick apparently and very funny and Jakey says is much is a good laugh. It star's Meryl Streep, who is so on top form according to Jake, she carries the whole film. Next on my list of must see's happens to be Alan Bennett's The History Boys, ok, so some critics have panned this movie, but I wanna see his tale of boys struggling to get into Oxford and Cambridge and very different teaching methods from two teachers - one of who is the very large round Richard Griffiths. Apparently there is some gay content to the film - which could perhaps explains why I want to see it!

Click is the latest Adam Sandler movice and there are always good to watch while the rain pisses down. Also I wanna see the movie about a rescue team with Kevin Costner in it, for some reason I've got the hots for him. Oh and if we're talking of top totty on the big screen then there is The Departed - that's got Leonardo Di Caprio, Matt Damon and Marky Wahlberg in it, so even if the films shit, there is still somethinggood to look at!

Oh and the Bebo boy date was ok, but hey I dont expect anything to come of it, I guess my dreams of finding Mr Right on bebo have been trashed and left amoung the sawdust and the glitter after they've pulled the big top down! !

More soon!

Choccie mountain

The first night of 4 is over and it's been a pretty long night, it was kinda busy to start off with, which I like, but to be honest, I feel I've had enough of that place! Mind you, I always feel like that after the first night, it's even worse the second one! This week may be different, for I've asked for holiday on Friday, well I've got that boy from Bebo coming round in the afternoon, so might need a little more time!

However, there was good news, David, our lil wonderer has returned from his American vacation and it was so good to have him back. Nyree, who was so lost without him last shift was so much happier and even took the odd call or two!

It was so nice to have him back and to make the occasion, we tottled off to the pub at 1am for our lunch. Off to VaVoom we went and saw the sights that Brighton has to offer on a wet mid week night. Two young girls pilfering through the rags and clothes left outside the charity shop. Two people sleeping in different doorways off their faces! VaVoom was pretty busy, in fact it was crowded, Mark was behind the bar and served us as soon as we walked in, nice to be recognised!

We had a nice chat, well as much as you can when your competeing with 7 video screens and 30 odd drunken lush's and it was so nice to get out the office and spend some time chilling with David.

Now, I'm as happy as a pig in shit! Over the moon pretty much, oh and no, not because I have this date kinda thing on friday. Oh no, I gave David some dollars before he went away in the hope he'd get me some choccie. Well the superstar that he is, he didnt forget and now I have a mountain of my fav choccies. I'm a Hershey queen, I just love the stuff and as you cant get it over here, I beg anyone who crosses the pond to bring some kisses back. David did the bizz in a big way - I have my own chocolate mountain, hundreds of kisses, all varieties, all mine! Fuck the diet I say!!

I've purchased a new red phone, Havn't worked out how to work it properly and havn't got all my numbers in it yet so at the moment I'm carrying 2 phones around with me. Jake said the only gay people he's seen with two phones are drug dealers! Hehe, me a dealer, I ask you, I'd never be a dealer, never have been a dealer and never will be one. (Helping my friends out from time to time is an altogether different thing!) Kidding!

Another dream washed down the plughole of life!

I've been fighting it for ages but yesterday I finally relented and went and got my hair cut1 I did have the silliest of notions to grow my locks and dye them blonde to look like some hot surfer dude. But for crying out loud I'm 37, my hair isnt that thick and I've got a lil bald spot coming and hey, even a new hair do isnt gonna change my body - so surfer dude - me, well I can kiss that dream away. So hair cut I had and so it's not exactly shaved, it is a lot shorter and I suppose I feel good about it.

But as I was having it cut and styled, as if to rub salt in the wounds or a wounded pride, in walked a young hunk with messy blonde thick hair who wouldn't have looked out of place holding up his longboard on Bondi beach! I mean talk about timing or what, god sticking his two fingers up at me, me thinks!

Another thing struck me as I was in the hairdressers chair was the amount of banarl, inconsequential garbage that hairdressers dish out all day. I mean the conversation was just dire, firstly about the weather, then about holidays and then about hair. Is it always the same, do hairdressers have to go to college to learn how to talk boring crap? Is it part of hairdressing law to talk about things that really dont matter? Is there a hairdresser in the land that can talk about something other than the weather and where you going for your next holiday?

I returned home, with my hair strewn accross the hairdressers floor, along with my dreams to find a little package waiting on the side for me. Some time ago I found some old camera films, so I decided to send them off to this developer person to find out what was on them. I found the films in an old back of crap when I was moving so I was guessing the films had to be a few years old. When I opened the package, my thoughts had been proved correct, the first photo was of me in a traing room, with my housmate - Nart, from 1997! It brought back a memory or two I can tell you. I had dreams then of making a career at that company, well, as you know that didnt happen, but what is funny is that I didnt notice that dream crumbling at the time!

I am very glad I sent the films away to be processed by a confidential developer because I'd have never had the guts to pop them down to the local Boot's had I know what was on one of those little undeveloped rolls! I was a little surprised when I opened the next little package to find the face of an cute little ex of mine wearing nothing but a smile! Four or five years ago when me and this lad in question where dating, we had a little mini photo session of the erotic variety, yeah you get the idea, a few little saucy snaps to brighten up the sex life! Well a coupleof things struck me as I leafed through those photo's, 1) He really was quite pretty. 2) He had a big joystick. 3) I could have been a pornstar. 4) I never noticed how beautiful his eyes were.

As I looked at those photos a lum appeared, no you dirty fools not down there, in my throat as I remembered our strange relationship and a recalled those happy times. I wonder what he's doing now - I hope he's ok, he was such a sweet guy, very giving (in more ways than one!) I could kick myself now though, for I was the one who dumped him, he was young, I was older, he had more life to live than being stuck with me who was ready to settle down. So I guess you could say, I pushed him away, probably for all the right reasons, yet just now, I do wonder if I made the right choice!

Ok, that's pretty much it for today, but before I go, here's a little story for you -

The Stone!

A young and successful executive was traveling down a Brighton street, going a wee bit too fast in his brand new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars as this was a residential area. He slowed down a little bit when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a large stone smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the stone had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the hell are you doing? That's a new car and that stone you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," Hepleaded. "I threw the stone because no one else would stop..." Withtears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, " he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the disabled boy back intothe wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going tobe okay. "Thank you so much and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the pavement toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the young executive has never bothered to repair the dented sidedoor. He's kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a stone at you to get your attention!"

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Bebo hot bed of teenage hormones!

Last night I took advantage of the opportunity of having the house to myself, well expect for lil Jazz the cat and completely slobbed out with the laptop and chilled. Now, I've said before that I've been playing around with the whole Bebo site thing and it's been kinda fun, well it passes the time doesn't it. I've come to the decision that Bebo is mostly the domain of the youth of today - it's pretty much exclusive to those in their teenage years! Pretty much all of my 'Friends' are teens, not that I mind youngsters, but it would be nice to find someone on there nearer my age.

It's nice to see what the younger generations are getting up to, well, I could use the old adage that it keeps me young! Which I guess is true, what has surprised me is the amount of youngsters that seem to like us olda guys! I had a message from a 19 year old lad who wanted to get to know me and thought I was fit - although how he got the idea I'm fit from the crappy photo of me looking pissed, I have no idea! But anyways, we swapped msn addresses and within a min or two, we were chatting away like old chums. Well, ok, it's so flattering when someone finds you attractive, but when they are young and incredibly good looking it's a blast. Now this guy was a stunner, indeed he wouldn't have looked out of place on the pages of a glossy fashion mag! Yep a real beauty, dark and broody looking and a fit bod as well.

Now when we started talking on msn the last thing on my mind was a naughty bit of web cam to cam stuff, however it seemed to be the first thing on this lads mind, for he kept on asking to see me on cam. Ok, I had the house to myself, I was feeling horny, I haven't had a shag for soo long that the lil todgers almost fallen off through lack of use. So, Ok, I didn't the smutty thing and we exposed ourselves to each other and well, pleased ourselves whilst watching each other!

The thing that surprised me was that after we were done, his next message was basically, that it was good and he cant wait to do it again! I wonder if that's true? I mean, last time I did this with a guy, he never contacted me again! I guess I'm not alone in that experience, as the following comment shows -

"I agree with the whole perception about doing stuff on webcam. One guy I know did stuff on a webcam for me (I didn't ask, I don't ask for that stuff honestly) and communication with him went to less often to less often to nothing (I even said: "Look, if I've said or done something to offend you, just tell me instead of ignoring me")..so everything changes once someone does that crap, I probably should've said no but anyway. It's not like I did anything in return so I didn't have anything to lose. Still, he seemed like a nice guy."

I seem to think it's really all about the chase, the chase is more exciting that actually catching the pray. All the build up and all the fun, then you get what you've asked for, and, once you've got it, you don't want it anymore! I hope that's not the same with the guy from last night, but hey, as I do inhabit the real world, I'm not holding my breath!!!

But, now other hot news, also from Bebo is this 17 year old lad who just happens to live near me, for a few weeks we have exchanged messages. Things have come to a bit of a head last night, we chatted on messenger and well, the long and short of the story is that we have fixed up a date for him to come round one afternoon next week! So, yes it seems like an afternoon date I'm going to be having, of course I'll keep you updated on what happens - if anything, but it's all rather interesting. But, I am a little concertedly, I mean he's 17, kinda cute and seems to be interested in me! He must be mad! Still hey, I need the ego boost!

Am I wrong to be exploring this world of teenage hormones? Am I just deluding myself that it's a place for me? Am I just hankering after my long lost youth? Am I just being a pervy old man?

Almost like summer!

I had a nice ride from here to Saltdean alont the under cliff walk with Mo to day and it was really nice. The wind in my hair, well eventually after I too my hat off, the sea to my side and bloody fools infront of me. The sky was the brightest blue, the sun was high and not a cloud to spoil the view, it was almost like summer again.

Indeed, today comes fresh on the news that July and September were the hottest since records began which is pretty cool, although I really do think it has something to do with global warming and the crisis with the ozone layer.

It's all slowly happening, the world getting warmer, here in England out summers getting longer and hotter and our winters colder and shorter. Hey, why should I care, It's not like I'll have any offspring to worry about!

Did you see the news about that little aircraft flying crashing into the side of that apartment, bad bit of flying that if you ask me! It was kinda strange as our very David was in New York as the time and we were getting texts from him saying it was all a little worrying as there were fighter jets in the sky over New York. Obviously for a brief moment they thought it was the start of another terrorist attack. But, thank fully it wasn't! It was good hearing about the incident from both sides of the Atlantic, the news here and David over there, strange how things are reported differently by different nations!

I a in need of a shag!

The working week is over!

I finished my working week this morning at 8am and boy am I glad that week is over, it's been a tough one! Been missing David, it's always a laugh around the place when he's there and it breaks the tension and lightens the mood. Still our gallant explorer will be back next shift and no doubt full of excited stories of his audiences with Babs, Mariah and Scissor Sisters!

I've been a bit lazy this past week, I've been going to and from work on the bus, which has enabled me to read a book and relax before and after each day. I'm currently reading Shameless by Paul Burston and it's a witty yarn about gay life which is very true to life, especially mine. I'll share some comparisons with you some other time, probably when I've finished reading the book, it will make you laugh, I'm sure of that.

Now I'm not sure if it's what I'm reading, or the motion of the bus, but each morning whilst riding home I've found myself becoming aroused! Yes, lil ol' Josh has been getting a stiffy on the way home at 8.30am, which has come as a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, I've just worked a 12 hour night shift, my body and mind are weak and I feel like mush, yet the old todger is up, granite like and rearing for action! I haven't had a hard on on the bus since school days, so maybe I'm heading into my second or perhaps third childhood, or perhaps I'm just a rampant horny bugger. God, I so need a boyfriend!!!

I've been invited by Mo and her pals to go to the Honey Club tonight, part of me wants to go and let my hair down but another part of me is thinking 'no chance'. I haven't slept today, so I have no energy, I feel completely worn out out like an old used trainer laying on it's side in the hallway of life. I like the Honey club, but on a Saturday night it's predominately straight so there isn't any chance of pulling, plus I've been up for 26 hours and well I haven't got a single thing to wear!

I think I'll just snuggle up in bed and snooze until tomorrow morn and forget about the world for a while.

Oh and BBW, all clear!

Overtime and norty me!

Hey what kinda fool am I? Well I went into work today on over-time, but not in the normal side of things. Oh no, today I went in to do training and working in another department. And. I have to say, it was piss easy work, I mean, it was so easy, I'm obviously doing the wrong job, I could do what I did today standing on my head tickling my arse with a feather duster and tugging my todger with a rubber glove!!!







Oh speaking of tugging the old todger, I must admit to a bit of web play on the web cam with this fit young dude whose been sending me emails for the passed month begging for it, well for me to go on web cam anyway. Now, you know me, I aint no oil paiting and I aint no well builtmuscled stud, but this guy wanted me. I mean some of the emails he was sending were pretty full on. So yesterday, I just kinda relented and let him have what he wanted. Now that I've given it to him, albeit over webcam, I doubt I will hear from him again, well come on, I live in the real world (most of the time!)

Jakey told me about a mate of his who has just found out that his new boyfie was arreested for torchin some old ladies house accross the road form where he lives. Of couse the guy in question hasn't told his his new boyfie, or should I say now ex boyfie! Luckily the fire wasnt bad and no-one was hurt, but even so, it's a bad thing to do. Apparently, this guy had been nicked for it before.

I'm back to work tomorrow night, not looking forward to the work, David's still on holiday which means it will be a bit dull. However, on the bright side, we've got Nyree back, she's been away cuz she's had a bit of a bad time recently. First her hubby wasnt well, luckily he's got the all clear now and then just when she was getting over that shock, her father became ill and sadly passed away. It's understandable that she's had time off, but she's back tomorrow! So I suppose that's something to look forward to, although with David away, she'll have no-one to have a bollocks conversation at 4.30am with.

When those two are together that have some real corker bollocks conversations, I mean they are just so funny. Ya know, I'd been working with them for at least 3 months, believeing what they we saying. You know stuff like David was once held captive in the gulf and hung up by his feet, or that he bakes peach cobblers on his days off for the homeless. I did begin to wonder when he told us that he used to work for MII5 as a spy. But I finnaly realised it was all bollocks wheh he told us about sufing accross the Atlantic............on a bread board!!!

Oh just before I go, BBW no redness today!

Another drunken stupor!

I'm a little jaded today, a little hung-over because I hit the town last night with the lovely Angus and kinda over indulged. First we met up in little VaVoom, as we always seem to do, well it's size means it's not easy to miss someone. We had one in there before headding off up to The Amsterdam for a couple, or was it Charles Street? Actually it was the Amsterdam, which was kinda quiet for a friday night, no loud music and no crowd. A right mixed bag of clientel as well, on the tabel in front of us 3 skinny rakeish teen sceen queens, on the table to our left, 3 old queen all in posseson of bus passes, if not a full head of hair or brain cells!


Somewhere along our little exploration of Brighton's gay night life, we visited the Bulldog, VaVoom, V2! A funny thing happend when we were in Charles Street, first I saw Ryan, haven't seen him for such a long time, I first met him when I was clubbing loads, bout 6 years ago and I have to say, unlike most of the sceen queens, he doesnt look like he's aged at all. Still young and sweet and pretty, I wonder what his secret is? Maybe there's an old painting in his attic!! The other strange moment was bumping into Di, she was out with her girlfriend, bopping on the floor. I haven't seen Di for like ages, perhaps 4 maybe 5 years ago and it was so so nice seeing her again. Another one that doesn't look a day older! Di and I used to club together loads and loads along with our friend Lucy. We were so much regulars that we had our own space in Revenge, a bit on the step leaning down to the dance floor. When we came in, people would move out of the way and give us our regular space back, honestly it true. It was really good seeing Di, she is a lovely person, we had many strange and happy times and I'm glad she's doing well and happy.



It was a nce night out, plus unlike most times when I've been ut with Angus, I can still rmember going home!

Lucky for some!

I've finished my working week at 8am this morning and, boy, am I glad that's over and done with. Now 4 days of fun and freedom to look forward to away from that place. Oh wait, no, shit I haven't, I've agreed to go in on over-time on Monday, silly me! Still it's doing training and not the normal job which means it should be easy.

Oh, I have a classic example of just how utterly stupid the management are at work. The day before yesterday day, they loaded up out new base computer units that we need to run the new system that we've got. Because it brand new, there are new methods and passwords to log on, which is pretty understandable. However, how did they inform us of the new method and password? By email. Yeah, email, which is on the new computers which have a new way of logging on and brand new passwords in order to operate.

As if that wasn't enough, they only loaded half the programmes I need to perform my job function, which they knew that I needed, for I've told them at least three times! Ya see they are about as much use as a chocolate teapot!!!

Oh, one bit of good news, not for me, but Lisa, one of the team that I work with one a raffle at work. The prize is a first class flight to New York. A night in a five star hotel and the cruise back on the Queen Mary II. Now if ya ask me that's some major prize, the lucky bitch!!! I've tried to talk her in to taking me, but it's not really working, still cant blame a guy for trying, can ya?

I farted today and some blood was in my pants, which is a bit of a worry, so I think I'm gonna have to make an appointment with the doc soon. Get him to look at my chocolate starfish, show him map of Tasmania, get him to examine my spasm casiam!!

Yahoo, or Yahell as my friend Jakey calls it have a new, well newish feature called 'Yahoo Answers' where you can ask questions that you're just burning to know the answer too. Then random people like me and you, post up our answers. It's kinda cool really and some of the questions posted are kinda funny, for example:

If an Astronaut farts in a space shuttle does the smell linger indefinitely?

how fast would a zebra have to run before it looked grey?

Why do we point to our wrist when we ask a stranger the time, surely they know where their watch is?

Do badgers go raving?

Does anyone know the point of mung beans?

Why did my parents name me Steve? Oh I'm a girl by the way!

Ok, that's it for now, I need some sleep!

Gorgeous Guys



Just a bit of fun!

Work - Book - Goodies - Bum

So night two for four is over and done with and thank goodness for that, it's been crap as we've been short staffed. It's that blooming David's fault if you ask me. I mean fancy going on holiday and having fun when there's work to be done!!



I'm surprised just how much I do miss him at work, not purely for the work he actually does do, but because he kinda keeps me sane in that madhouse! But even though I miss his smiling face and going to the pub at lunchtime, I'm glad he's having fun stateside!



I've just read this read good little book, it's called Brothers and it's by Ted Van Lieshout. I've been reading it on the bus to and from work (no cycling because of the wet weather! Hey that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.) This is such a sad sweet tale that it'll move ya to tears. Yes, I have to admit that whilst I''ve been riding the No 1 into town, water droplets have escaped my eyes!


It's been 6 months since Luke's younger brother died of a strange mysteriousus illness, his mother embarks on a clear out and ritualistically burning of all his dead brothers belongings. Luke however, is not ready to say goodbye in such a savage way, he finds his brother's diary and starts writing where is little sibling finished, claiming the diary as his own. He soon finds out that they have both have secrets that they've been hiding from their parents and each other. It's a rite of passage tale with a sad under belly of emotion about the lives of two tragic teens. It gave me food for thought and I'm sure it will provide it for you to. It's a short book, not that many pages, but it will enthrall you for a long weekend.



Hey, wanna get ya hands on some stylish goodies? Of course you do, that's why I have got together with CafePress and created some Sex And The Sea Front goodies. There's things like baseball caps, t'shirts, hoodies, badges and even a teddy for you to feast ya eyes on and if you like 'em, get ya hands on them. They are reasonably priced and any profits received from this little venture are going to charity. So please take a couple of min's and have a peek and see what you think!

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Oh and a little update on the bum, well it's isn't sore and hasn't sploged out the red stuff for a while, but I'm gonna keep a close eye on it. Oh and thanks Simon for the graphic email with pictures of all the possibilities it could be, But, I'm pretty sure I don't have a coke bottle up there! Ewwwwwk!!


finally, I have to say a big well done to my old mate and ex psycho Lee, who finished the Great North Run at the weekend. He managed it 15 mins faster than last years debut which is pretty good going and I'm well impressed, so good on ya Lee! He's in there somewhere - honest!

Christmas is coming!

The weather today is awful, torrential rain showers and overcast skies, bUT it was even worse yesterday. Oh yes, it was windy yesterday, very windy and when I say ver windy, I do mean very very windy! So windy in fact that we had our own little tornado, yes I kid you not, we had a tornado. Ok, well it was more a waterspout while it was out at sea, but it came closer to land and was classed as a mini-tornado. However, it's power dissipated as it reached land by the marina, but it was exciting tho.

I was in the local supermarket on Saturday and I was plenty surprised, It was the last day of September but already one complete aisle was dedicated to Christmas foods and decorations. It really does start earlier and earlier. At this rate by 20th of October I'll already have eaten my own weight in mince pies (I love 'em) and be thoroughly sick to the back teeth of Christmas and wishing it would be over already. If you think I'm not a Christmas person, then you'd be right. It's not that I'm a moody sourpuss, I just hate all the fake and commercialism of the whole thing, it's just a big waste of time, money and effort.

I was out with my mate Jakey, it's been a while since we chatted, anyway, we were nattering about food and he called me a snob. Me - a snob, I ask you, fair not me thinks, however he went on the explain that perhaps it wasn't snobbery, perhaps I just had international tastes. I mean, I have my sundried tomatoes from a place in Southern Italy. I prefer American Chocolate like Hershey Kisses and Reeses peanut-butter cups. I spread my toast with Australian Vegemite. I drink Columbian coffee with pure raw sugar (a present to myself from Dominican Republic). Maybe he has a point, I conceded!

It was Wild Fruit last night, I was going to go, but I felt a bit rough, Jakey went and gave me a report of the nights activities. It was very crowded with loads and loads of straight people, mainly because Brighton's own Fat Boy Slim was playing. Our best gay night, overtaken by straights - what is the world coming to? All those breaders snogging on the dance floor and giving it attitude - I'm glad I wasn't there!

I don't kn ow why I felt a bit rough, just down I guess, although I have got this personal problem at the mo. I've got a bleeding bum, well yeah I know I've got one, I'm sitting on it for a start, but just recently it's started to bleed a bit. Maybe it's piles, I've had a look in the mirror, but all seems ok on the outside, no big bunch of grapes hanging down or broken swollen veins, so I'm not sure. Also, it doesn't just bleed when I sit on the loo and have a poo, it bleed when I got home from my holiday, I thought it was just wind, but it wasn't. It's done it a couple of times since then for no reason! So I didn't wanna take the risk of getting all hot and steamy on the dance floor with some young hunk, have a fart and follow through with red wetness running all down my backside - not a good pulling look!

Ok, nuff said, please keep coming back, I need all the friends I can get!