Looking for a new head

I'm looking for a new head! No not for me, for this here blog! I think it needs a fresh new look, so anyone with ideas, let me know - thanks!

No, I didint make it up, it's a real sign at the Northampton General Hospital.

Wonder how many have tried??

It's been a lazy day for me, I've not done a great deal, ok ok, I've not done anything at all really. Nart, my housemate and her boyf Jason are home which means I have no privacy at all, they're both a bit moody just lately, so I try and keep clear from them as much as possible.

We've had loads of rain today, heading into the winter season, I kinda like that, no tourists in town, clear streets, rough seas and peace. The only shit thing about it is it's dark when I go to work, half light when I'm coming home from work and daylight when I'm asleep! Need to book a sun-bed me thinks!!

I'm in a bit of a random mood at the moment, so here are some random facts;

Well, I never knew that !!!!In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"


Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF enteredinto the English language.


The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fredand Wilma Flintstone.


Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.


Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.


Coca-Cola was originally green.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.


The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.


If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs inthe air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg inthe air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand


What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windscreen wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.


What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight.


It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and becausetheir calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.


In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in oldEngland , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get thephrase "mind your P's and Q's"


Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into therim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, theyused the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.


Don't ignor this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it..........
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in awrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer bein the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raedit wouthit a porbelm, Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.Amazing huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

More normal stuff soon, oh and I'm missing David already! He's off on his hols, over to San Fran as we speak. Lucky bugger!

Brewery...........

Brewery - up - piss - organize - couldn't - in - a ! Rearrange these words to make a popular statement and you've got my views of the management of this supposedly world-class company that I work, nee slave my guts out for.

This passed shift of 4 nights on has been torturous beyond belief, first of all they changed our shifts, so we started and finished an hour later. Now that really got my back up as we'd been campaigning for months to start and finish an hour earlier. The first night wasn't too bad, David and I slopped off to the pub at 1.30am which was really nice. The usual mix of drunken lushes populated the place, including a lad with yellow highlights who kept on winking at David. Also in the bar was a pygmy like Indian girl gyrating to the music, totally off her face. A straight boy or rather perhaps bi curious lad on his first venture in a gay bar and some old fat geezer who kept on shouting 'Are you ready?'

That first night passed pretty much uneventfully until around 6am when all these people started coming in. They were getting ready for the big switch on of a new computer system that was supposed to make the whole job faster and easier. Well, hey, guess what, it's not and it's isn't.

The rest of the nights have proved to be very stressful annoying and very slow, this new system is making me work for an hour, when on the old system I could do the lot in under 10 minutes. They've had what they call 'floorwalkers' around, who like, walk the floor to offer you help and assistance if you need it. It's a great idea, well it would be if they could answer more than just the basic questions. Ask them something that you actually need to do you job and they haven't got the slightest clue.

They told us a couple of weeks ago, they would buy us take-a-way on the first night of the new system, sadly they didn't think about where they were going to get it from. They called 29 Chinese place, not one of them took Amex! Organisation skills of a flea springs to mind!

The management also said they were going to give us drink tokens for a drink in our own sports and social club, however, no body thought to tell the sports and social club! They don't take tokens and no-one with a company card was available to go over, so no drinks for us, so you can see that I really do mean it when I say they 'couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery'

Oh on a lighter note, ever wondered what famous people share your face shape? Thought you looked a lot like a star from stage or screen? Well, take a peek here at a demo of a face recognition programme from MyHeritage.com. I did, see the results, David and I had to have a laugh when we saw my supposed matches included a rather large number of women! Click on my pic below to check them out.

Right that's ya lot for now! Keep coming back for more from my world. I need all the friends I can get!

New books!!!!

Ed the ex, sent me an email the other day about new books, at least that's what the header said, I openned it up and had a look at the book covers. Ok, for a moment, I mean just for a moment I was shocked, take a look!

The new Elton John autobiography!

Wonder what David thinks of that!

OK, well I thought, the next one was a bit shocking, indeed, I said to myself 'That's a bit shocking!' But, still I went along with it, although I did think that it was pretty bad taste!

But, in these day's of randomness I'm not surprisied that some publisher or other could do something like that!

Ok, now that's an interesting one I thought. But I did start to wonder, ok, by this time I did more than wonder, in fact I went back to the email itsef because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. The next two gave it away really!

But, it's the last one I like the best!

Enjoy!

Check back for more from my world soon!

Oh what a naughty boy!

It's been a while since I was last flaunting myself in Brighton town, so when the lovely Angus text me and said let's paint the town red Saturday, I didn't hesitate, well come on, it would have been rude not too!



So at 7.30 I met up with the sweet Scottish Angus in VaVoom we had a couple of pints there and I filled him in on my holiday and all the other gossip from my world (obviously that didn't take too long) VaVoom was cool, but the usual sexy bar staff were not in position behind the bar, so we headed off up the road.

R bar was going to be our next port of call, we got up to the bar when it was beset by a gaggle of 20 odd beavers on a hen night. So we whipped ourselves up to Charles Street bar just up the road. That was kinda funny, I saw an ex of mine, form my very young days and when all funny and unnessercery! Saw another mate who regaled us with his latest exploits which included doing the deed with a 19 virgin in the loo's of Candy Bar. Now Candy Bar for thos of ya that don't know is the local dyke bar! Ohh I say.

After a couple there Angus and I headed down to R bar, hoping the breading hen's had departed, they had, so in we went. Got to the bar and there before us was Mr Tippy from work and his buddies Daz, Matt the baker and Tom. We had a couple there and a jolly old chin wag and headed up the front to Amsterdam (the bar not the city!) Another drink or two was enjoyed as we chatted, chilled, looked at people and passed comment. From there, I think we headed for the Bulldog, upstairs in the Karoke bar. It was ok, but the singing was off putting and we lasted one drink in there and headed to Charles Street. Not sure how long we stayed in there, but It wasn't long. The vibe, just wasn't in that hall of a pub, so we moved ourselves down to V2.

Now, V2 was good, I got chatting to the funky sexy bar boy from VaVoom, Mark, he's soooo nice, bit chavvy looking, bit straightest, but appealing. More drink passed my lips. Apparently I drunk a fair bit, I moved off from the pints and went on to the Vodka. Now that's a fatal move, it gets me well drunk wel quick. No call me queen slutty of the slutty people, but that's all I'm going to tell you about our evening in town!

The reason that's all your getting is, I have completely no memory of the rest of the night, or should I say morning! All I remember is getting home and thinking, it's already light, how I got home or what I had done or with whom, is as Toyah would say, it's a mystery!!!

Angus sent me a text late on in the afternoon, saying it was a good night and asking if I "Did the deed you naughty boy?" I don't remember I replied. "I thought you were getting on very well with that dark haired lad!!" My mind is a blank! - I'm never drinking so much again!

Blair & Bush: The Gay Bar

Blair & Bush: The Gay Bar video mix.

Overtime, AussieBum and Bush & Blair go gay!

During my last shift, Lisa asked if I wanted to put my name down for overtime, so at 4.30 am I thought it was a good idea. Yet when it came around yesterday morning, I didn't think it was such fun. Getting to the office and doing a day shift after so long is a bit of a mare really, I was half way through it and sincerely wished I hadn't put my name down! It was really crap, but hey, I'm £100 better off and Lisa and I went to The Amsterdam at lunch time and had an all day breakfast and a pint. Another reason why I wished I'd not agreed to do overtime was the simple fact that Thursday was such a nice day, clear blue skies, sunny weather, I could have been down on the beach or just being lazy, or at the pub all day with Jakey, or looking around the shops, in fact I could have been doing anything except working in that hell hole!

Nart and her boyf Jason came home from their trip to Canada andSeattlee so when I got home they told me of their trip and all the fun they got up to. They gave me a T'shirt and cap from Boeing (the aircraft makers!) which was nice, they also gave me a bag of Hershey kisses, which I so so so love. In fact I love all kinds of Hershey chocolate, it's hard to get over here, in fact it's nearly impossible, so when anyone of my friends go to the States, I get them to get me some. David from work is going over in a couple of weeks, so I'm going to get him to get me $50 worth - screw the diet!!!

I've had a little clear out of clothes today, It was kinda depressing, I have a draw full of jean's I can no longer get into. (The jeans you fool, not the draw!) But, hopefully, I'll loose some and slip in to them some time before the nextmillenniumm - so maybe it's not screw the diet then!

Oh I say, I saw this on czechOUT blog and just had to have him on mine, cute ad for AussieBum undies for boys. What a bod!!

Then I saw this one, thought it was a giggle and so, I'm sharing it with you!

Blair & Bush: The Gay Bar video mix.

Half Down

I'm half way through this working week for me and it's going to be a shift from hell and I really do mean hell! Due to training, holiday and basic missmanagement the team was down to just three people, David, Toby and I. As you can imagien with three people doing the work six it's been busy, busy, busy. Still David has kept me amused and lightened the load dramatically, which has meant we've had the odd laugh!

On Thursday I met up with Lisa and David in The Sussex Tavern pub for a little liquid refreshment before we headed off on this work function which was ok, entered a few competitions, got my fingers crossed, hopefully we'll hear today if we've won one of the prizes, yeah never know, might just be lucky. After the fuction was over we dispersed off to the pub for more drinkies and a bit of a natter and the like. I dont remember what time I rolled in, I only know that my head was spinning and was a little drunken poppet.

Friday was a day of nothingness, I was completely monged, hungover and feeling like shit. I was supposed to go into work for an hours training, but I didn't make that, I do feel bad, but, I was bad!

Oh I've been having a laugh in the social interaction site Bebo, it's supposed to help you make friends and introduce you to folks around the world. There are some nice looking people on there and I've emailed and messaged a few which has been fun. Even David's got in on the act and signed up and got himself a page. He hasn't got many friends on there yet, but I'm sure he will, I mean, I put a photo of him on my Bebo page and it's got more comments (complimentary ones) than my pics!

Ok, am off to bed, gotta get ready for more randomness tonight! Plus I really must do those holiday photos soon, that will give you a laugh!

It's like hell on earth!

It's my first day off after my first shift of 4 back at work since the holiday and I have to say, it's been hell on earth! It really has, I hate that place! I'd fogotton just how vile it is! I went to the pub the first night with David and that was the highlight of my working week, the rest has been, as I saw, like hell on earth!



I haven't really done much other than that really, indeed it's been a bit of a social wasteland really. Nart and her fella Jason have been at home so I haven't had much space and privacy to call my own. Plus my room is like bag central, it's such a mess. Stuff all over the place, bags of clothes, mess, books and files. I really need to do a tidy up, but ya know, there just isnt enough time in the day.



Now it's freedom for a little while, well a few days anyway, I can tidy up now cant I? We have a work function on Thursday evening which should be interesting
it's held in a hotel and have loads of suppliers come around to give us stuff and then there are competitions, so I may just win something good. But knowing my luck all I'll get is a book on how to pull women!!!!



I've been chatting on this website thingy called Bebo, it's like the new MySpace thing and it's kinda cool. There are just some many strange people in the world, that wanna be friends with you for no reason! I've chatted to a few nice people from there. One is a well nice lad called Liam, he's really funny, sexy, thoughtful and deep. So Hi Liam, ya sweet sexpot!

So if you're bored one afternoon, check it out.


Ok, I'm off for a bath and a long cool drink.

holiday reads.

I don't think I've ever read as many books as I did on my recently passed holiday to Dom Rep. Yeah, sorry, I'm going on about my bloody holiday again, but this time I thought I would share some of the books that passed by my eyes whilst sunning myself!





First up was Ben Elton's Past Mortem. I really do rate Ben Elton as a writer, he's funny, his books are well crafted and his take on real life issues are honest and fresh. This book has it all, a stong plot, a likeable central character, great take on the whole 'Freinds Reunited' thing. The surprise ending wasn't a surprise, I saw it comeing a mile off, but the book was still a gripping read.



The next up was one of Mo's choices, The Charmer by Mandasue Heller. It's not a bad book really, deals with a young woman's life away from the gritty grimmy streets of Manchester to the southern coast and back again. her life was good after a terrible childhood, that was until she met Joel. His dark shady world of drugs soon takes it's toll on Maria. But the twist in the tale was a masterpiece of writing. It sure surprised me, yet the clues were all there the middle, I just never spotted it! It's a good read!



Yes, it's another Ben Elton tome on my reading list. High Society is a witty tale or modern life in the drugs world that we all inhabit, every one know's someone who is a criminal! No, well think about how many people in your circle who take recreational drugs, they all know a criminal - the person that sold them their drug of choice. The war on drugs has been lost. The simple fact is that the whole world is rapidly becoming one vast criminal network. From pop stars and royal princes to crack whores and street kids, from the Groucho Club toilets to the poppy fields of Afghanistan, we are all partners in crime. High Society is a story about Britain today, a criminal nation in which everybody is either breaking the law or knows people who do. It's a pretty hilarious sometimes heartbreaking but also terrifying journey through the kaleidoscope world that the law has created and from which the law offers no protection. It's a good book and for a short time I wished it wasnt fiction!

Call Me Elizabeth is a supposed true story of one thirty-something mother of 6 experiences of become a high class hooker. It could be a touching story, especially as she was abused as a child, but she turns to prositution to pay her bill and send all her 6 kids to private school! I guess, I know first hand what and how it feels to find you have little choice left available to fund your life other than selling your body. Or as I prefer to say, renting it out for a little while. This book does not convey any of the real feelings one has when turning to that way of life. Maybe it's completely different for women, but I don't think it can be that far removed, as Dawn seems to make it in this book. I feel a little cheated by Call Me Elizabeth to be honest, it reads more like fiction that a true life experience.





"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."

-Albert Einstein

Oh no it's work tomorrow!

There is one thing about holiday's that I don't like.............. Coming back home! Ok, so it's kinda nice to see and catch up with some buddies, like Jakey last night. But now I have to get ready because it's back to work tomorrow. Yeah, it seems like I've only been off for a little while, but it's almost a month since I last was in that hell hole!



I have missed being there, well ok, not the work and stuff, but have missed doing stuff and missed David and a couple of the girls from the office.Missed going out at lunch time to the local bar to see the boys. Lunch time remember is around 1 am ish, so see plenty of boys and of course our bar boys themselves!

Was out with Jakey last night, only to the local pub for a couple of pints before we came back here to chill out and natter and catch up. He's fine, been to his folks and chilling out up there, but now back in Brighton for uni and his ahem other work! He still wants me to join in sometimes. But even though I have a nice tan at the moment, my arms are a little flakey tho, plus I've put on a bit of weight! Can you believe I'm 12 stone now? It's true! All that nice food and even nice drink! I have to go on a diet now, I mean I HAVE to!!

I cycled into Hove, George Street today, first time back on a bike and my legs were pretty sore afterwards, I guess I need more exercise, didn't get a lot of that on holiday.

Little Joe hasn't replied to my emails, hope he's ok, I need to hear from him so I can book my time off work for the next trip. Yeah, not even gone back in the office yet and already planning my next holiday! Nope, that trolly dolly hasn't been in touch and the sky is blue!

Oh, I'm trying to get a free Ipod nano, all I have to do is get 6 people to click the pic and sign up then apparently they will send me one! So if you could, please do!

I'm Home!!

Well, I didn't stay and play 'Tom Cruise' in my own version of 'Cocktail' and run a bar on the beach in Punta Cana shaking more than just the drinks. Nope and I didn't stay on working in the hotel as a bell-boy even though I kinda like that name, or maybe I just getting that confused with my time at school. I mean, whenever anyone called out 'Head Boy' in morning assembly, half the school would kneel!




Anyway what I guess I'm trying to say is that I cam home from my holiday, yes I'm back in dear old England and I'm already missing the Dominican sunshine! I think I'm already starting to lose the tan, I've started peeling on my bloody nose or all places, which means I look like I've got a great big bogey hanging off the front of my snout - I guess I'll just have to pick it!

We flew back on 'My Travel' flight from Punta Cana into London Gatwick this morning, it's a long flight at around 8 and half hours which was kinda exhausting. It was a pretty bog standard long-haul charter flight really, not very remarkable. We were welcomed onboard by a camp little blonde steward with a lopside smile and swept back hair, you could say he was kinda appealing, indeed from certain angles there was a touch of the 'River Phoenix' look about him, that intrigued me and I had to check him out a few times. But, this kid was a bit stroppy and ordering more than two drinks from the bar cart got him stressed and a smile was a stranger to his face.

The only other male member of the cabin crew was a very appealing young lad by the name of Ian, with dark eyes there were true windows on the soul and some really kissable lips. If I was sick I wouldn't have minded mouth to mouth from that little strumpet plus he smiled a few times and didn't get stressed (at least not in front of the passengers) unlike his camp colleague. He's the kinda cabin crew I like, attentive but unobtrusive, friendly without being false and well nice eye candy.

You'll think I'm strange, but as I was leaving the flight early this morning at Gatwick, I have him one of my cards and scrawled on the back 'Remember to always smile, for you never know who is falling in love with your smile - Josh x' Maybe you think I was just flirting, or rampantly horny or just being a tart, but I wasn't, I was just being honest, he had a lovely smile and needs to show it off! I don't expect I'll hear from him, I mean I was looking dog rough, but if the card made him smile, then hey it was worth it!

Now I'm back home, I'm kinda sorry that the holiday is over, but two weeks with Mo was far more than enough. She was kinda different on holiday than she is back home, much more quiet, reserved and with no energy. Plus she talks about herself so much, indeed pretty much every conversation is about her or her kids which after the 323rd time in the space of a few days can be a bit wearing.

I now need to book another holiday to get over this one and to plan something, I'll probably head on over to Chicago to meet up with little Joe and then down to Florida for a bit of sun and relaxation on a beach. I'll have to go to work for a few shifts first though, well I'll need to earn some pounds for the trip and also I have to go say hi to David, I've missed him and our little trips down to VaVoom at 1am!

Who will be my new traveling buddy? Will little Joe wanna see me? Where in Florida will I sun myself? Am I going to the boozer with Angus tomorrow? Which part of my body with flake next? Will the sexy strumpet trolly dolly Ian get in touch? Is the sky green? All those questions and more may well be answered or not in the next edition on Sex & the Sea Front - my true life tales, tribulations and drama's.

Alas it's homeward bound!

Alas dear friends, it's homeward bound in a couple of days. Yes, these two weeks, 14 nights and 15 days of holiday - sun, sea, sand and drink are coming to end end and dear old blighty is calling my name. Yes to dear Old England we head - hey I better be carrful there or I'll start to sound like a Roger Whitaker song!.

I have enjoyed my time on holiday and building up a great sun tan, hey folks you should see the colour of me, browner than I think I've ever been, almost like a roast chicken. (Me chicken - ha thats a laugh!)

Mo and I had a fast ride on a speed boat yesterday and it was really good, so fast, bouncing up and down the waves. Trust mo, she bagged us the front 2 seats and we hit those waves with vengance. Had a brill time, we went to this unspoilt island in the middle of the sea - well they say it's unspoilt, but they forget to tell you of the hordes of tourists on the same bit of Island! In fact it was a little overun by folks like us, but the boat rides there and from where fun. Oh and I think I pulled!! Yeah, I'll habe to put a photo up of me and my dance partner on the outward trip - let's just say I was the first one on my feet and my dancing partner seemed to take a shine to me!!

Tomorrow is a day of a little shopping and then more sunbaking, I mean I need to work on my tan some more because when I get back home to England it's only a month before I head off to the States. I'm looking forward to that trip as well, but for different reasons. (Hey Joe - I'll be on my way soon!)

Ok, right enought crap from me for one day, I'm off to have a rum and coke in the bar looking at the stars. Gee it's a hard life! Hey I just thought, I could become a little barman like Jose, whose serving me my drinks right now. Ok, maybe little is not the right word, but ya get my drift, maybe I just wont take the return plane home - ohhherrr, what's a boy to do?

Do I stay here in Paradise or do I head back home to reality? Find out next time!