Can I be more relaxed?

There I was laying on the sun bed today, my body already brown, a good book in one hand and a Coco Loco in the other and as I gazed up to the clear blue skies I wondered to myself, could I be more relaxed? Probably not, but then I did have a worry - would I have to get up from my reclined position to get to the pool and another Coco Loco? Nope, because everytime I thought I needed more liquid refreshement, Mo was on her feet toddling to the bar after having a swim! So I felt like a right lazy sod just laying there basking in the sun. I had everything! Well ok, no 6ft young hunk to rub the suncream in, but hey, you cant have everything in paradise can you?

Talent is a little lacking in this resort, well ok there are some nice looking fellas, however they are all breeders! Loads of them on honeymoon and the like, but there are a few nice sights to fill ones eyes with whilst one is lazing in the sun!

Mo is off on a trip tomorrow so I'm going to troll about the beach and have a little swim and no doubt a little bit too much of the Pina Colarda's of Coco Loco's or run and coke or ..........well pretty much anything I could want really! The only trouble is, as Mo is on a trip, I'll have to blooming well fetch them myself!!!!

Thants about it really, more later, I'll go exploring tomorrow and see if I can get some gossip amoung the sand dunes!! Ohhhherrrr!!!

Out of the danger zone!

Well dear friends, worry no more, we're out of the dan ger zon e. Tropical storm Ern esto has passed us by. No danger lurks aroun d the corner for us, although it has hit Haiti, which is just next door!.


So I can get on with the rest of the holiday, sunn ing myself and dri nking far too much. Mo has decided that's she's doing trips on her own so I have decided that I'm gonna work on the tan un til the next plane outa here.

I'm not missing work or home one little bit, however I'm dissapointed that I'm not goin g to get caught up in a hurricane!!!

You k now me, I love danger!

Feed Me To The Sharks

It's been a wet day here in the Carribean, rain t and windy but at least the rain is warm. Mo and I have been on a day trip out in the ocean to swim with sting rays and sharks. Yeap you read that right, swim with sharks....... no we weren't in cages and n or were the sharks, they and us were swimming free - I'll prove it and show you the photos when I get back!!!

Oh by the way, if you havent seen the news, we have a tropical strom headin g our way, Nesto of Enesto or something like that I think it's called, but it's picking up speed and power and may turn into a Hurricane and flop over the southern coast of where we are. Mo is shitting herself but I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, it's the exciteme nt and the danger and all that, It has my pulse racing an d I'mn all for it. Hehehe lil old me in a danger zone - a real one!

Knowing my luck, it's probably just gonna turn put to be a warm wet wind - a bit like the kind that comes out of my arse after a curry!

Missing you loads, yeah that means you David and Angus and of course Jakey an d lil Joe.

More soon for the lobster on Dom Rep!!

Just call me lobster legs!

Hey dudes, just call me lobster legs! It's been fine an sunny here on the Island of the Republic of Domican and Mo and I have been suning outselves pretty good today. In fact too good, for I now have lobster legs! I was very good, I put sun cream on my arms, my chest, my face but, silly me forgot my legs so now I have little red legs.

Yesterday was a great day, we went on this day trip, first we went on a long drive then we stopped off at a traditional locals house to see how real Dominican people live and spend live. We also stopped by a school, not really very much going on as it's just about the end of their holidays. But it was so nice to get off the beaten tourist track and see the real live of the real people, it was humbling to say the very least, they are so poor, but so happy.

We also say the inside of a coffee plantation and the inside of a special local drink making thingy, the drink is sooooo strong that it blew my bloody head off, oh and yes, I've got a bottle to dring back home.

I've seen a few lizzards a couple of crocs and a few big hair spiders. However so far I havn't seen a single mozzy, so why the fuck am I taking anti-malria tablets I just dont know.

I'm drinking plenty - Coco Loco, Rum and Coke, Pina Colarda................ I could go on and on, but hey that would wast such valuable drinking time. Just had a mexican - a mean not an actual person, so I need some more liquid to calm my flaming mouth!

Update again when I have less time!

Holiday!!!!!!!!

Hey, it's actrually 8.52 am and here I am on holiday in the lovely Dominican Republic. The flight over was smooth, although after 9 hours mky legs sure needed a stretch and my lungs needed vast quanities of ciggy smoke and other pollutants!


The hotel is a fine 5 star resort shaped a bit like a butterfly. There are 8 restaurants, 8 bars, two entertainments centres, a 'town' shopping square and 6 swimming pools. It's gonna be a hard job getting round all those bars, but by god, Mo and I are gonna give it our best shot!


The food in the main restaurants is buffet style and the choice is amazing, so vast, get this - 12 different kinds of bread last night. I mean, I didn't even know you have that man y different kinds of bread!!!


The local people seem to be very friendly and pretty much always smiling and saying 'Hola' Mo's fine, got a bit of a head at the moment and I've just had a volcano of an arse - I think it has something to do with all the 'Pina Colarda's' and 'CoCo LoCo's' I've been enjoying!


They had a Kareoke night last night and I found out something for the first time, It doesn't matter what language it is, everyone sounds crap!!!! Needless to say Mo and I didn't get up on stage doing our Ike and Tina Turner impression - but hey maybe tomorrow - I think the Dominicans may just be ready for that. Either that or I'm borrowing Mo's lil black dress and getting up and down with my bad self on stage as Miss Diana Ross!!!


Anyway, must dash, there is drink to have, food to eat and sun to bake in!


Be good, till the next update from the sunny, sexy, heady, Caribbean!!!

And the winner is..........

Yahey, Big Brother has come to it's nail bitting end, the population has spoken, the votes been counted and verified, Divina's waters didnt break, but we all sat on the edge of our seats for the live final. (when I say everyone, I do of course mean me and Jakey!)

I dont think I was surprised when the preggers one announced that the winner was my mate and Brighton boy Pete with 61% of the vote.

I'm really happy for him, it's a great prize and well deserved, I'm sure he's going to spend it unwisely! He has been in the house since this series started and he's been himself throughout. He's not put on an act, not tried to be something he's not, he's just been his usual happy bright, funny and err twitching self.

Apparently he was the most fancied housemate of all time, the girls fancied him, some of the boys fancied him, but they all loved him! Pete finds it so hard to communicate at times and he's such a sensitve little soul that he can't really be able to be anything other than himself. It also helps that such a lovely mind and heart comes wrapped in a rather fetching package!!! Love ya Pete! See ya down the local for a bevvie or two when ya feet get back in contact with the ground!

There have been plenty of up's and downs during these 93 days of vouyerism on this way too long voyage of TV discovery, the montage at the end of the BB final has had me in floods of tears, Jakey's been sobbing his little heart out as well, it certainly has been a rollacaster ride in TV land.

Right, as my current drinking habits has raised a few questions and eyebrows, I thought I'd just share with you a few quotes from the rich and famous!

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

"There are many good reasons for drinking and one has just entered my head. If a fellow cant drink when he's living, how the fuck can he drink when he's dead!"

Josh Jordan!

And now a few warnings!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you, they are not!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a twat

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without sounding like a knob!

Love island. Oh brother. 4 sleeps.

Love Island continues on ITV with more celeb antics of, let's face it, the boring kind! I'm sorry, but I can think of a thousand more interesting things to do than watch minor celebrities play about on a Pacific island in the sun and getting paid for doing pretty much errrm nothing. Well, ok yeah, I could think of a thousand things, but I didn't! I've just spent the best part of an hour watching it! My mind is pretty much mush now! However, I still have a soft spot for little Lee Ottway, ok, I'll be honest - it's a hard spot, ahem! Oh to be that soft toy!



After what seem like 8 months, Big Brother is coming to an end on Friday and I for one am bloody glad! It's rolled on for so long this year, that I've lost pretty much all interest in this once interesting and entertaining show. Maybe I've just got 'reality TV show' burn out, which I guess is highly possible. I mean our TV schedules seem to be littered with such programmes. Oh and another one starts soon - The X Factor. Anyhow, I still want my lil pal Pete to win BB, so even though I now hate it, I'll be watching tomorrow like half the population! God, my life's is so dull!


4 more sleeps before I head off with Mo to the Dominican Republic for 15 days of pure relaxation, sun, sand and sea. Oh and because it's an all inclusive holiday, no doubt I'll come home three stone heavier and my liver will be so soaked with alcohol I'll have to dry out for a month! Heaven!!!


Sometimes I think I drink too much, sometimes I'm sure I do, but hey, isn't this life for living? So, hey just because I like a glass or two of red wine at 9.30 am, it doesn't make me an alcoholic now does it? Ok, before you rush to email me the number for my local AA group, remember, I normally work nights, so 9.30am is when I've finished work, it's like my 9.30 at night - see, I'm not that bad really!

England beat Greece at football last night even without David Beckham as captain as he was pretty much sacked by their new manager. Could this be the end of Beckham's career? Na, of course not, he currently earns far more in merchandising than he ever has from football, whoever said he was thick?

An email has just arrived in my inbox, which made me pause for a moment, the email contained two words, a number and a photo. Nice you may think, but, you'd be wrong, you see the words were "Call Me" the number was a phone number and the photo was a picture of the senders male appendage! Yeah, some guy just sent me a pic of his dick! I mean, I may be gay and ok I may be a bit lacking on the shag/boyfie department but it takes more than a picture of a a cock to get me into bed! I'm not a cheap date, despite what you may have read on the back of various toilet doors (yes, I am joking!) I'd expect at the very least 2 dinners, 1 lunch and a ride home, however ask me that again after 5 pints, 2 gin's and a cocksuking cowboy and the answer may very well be different!


Right, I'm off to bed, well one needs ones beauty sleep. And, as you can see from my profile photo - I need a lot of sleep!

Day shift & 5 more sleeps!!

I'm currently working days doing a training course for 5 days and I must say that working days is a bit of a strange novelty for me. I'm not getting used to sleeping during the night and working during the day. Plus there are so many people in the office, like 210% more than I'm used to. I'm not sure I like working during the day, it has a completely different vibe to it, however I do like the number of hours I do, just 7 rather than 12!




I've not been going out much just lately as I want to save my money for my holiday, I'm getting excited about it now. It's only 5 more sleeps till I go! That's the way I'm looking at it, I know it's childish, but, It makes it easier to count and ya know sometimes it's nice to be excited and child like! God knows there isn't much else to get excited about!



Ok, so we're coming to the end of Big Brother 7 and according to the bookmakers, it's a two horse race between Lil Pete and Glen, you win's - you decide. I sure hope it's Pete. He's a lovely lad, really is, plus he's always got a smile on his face. I only hope that if he does win it, the fame isn't going to spoil him as it can so many people that flirt with the status of celebrity. I guess only the fullness of time will tell, but if you were to ask me, I'd say no, Pete will always be the down to earth kooky lovely person.



Coming soon on TV is yet another series of X Factor, you know another reality TV talent show with Simon Cowell, Sharon Osborne and Luis Welsh. I dare say, it will be compulsive viewing, at first just to see how awful the most awful actually are!


Oh, I've just thought of another reason why I don't like doing days....... I know, I'm a bit slow. But, I haven't been to VaVoom with David, I miss that, and also I have not seen our lil barman, miss that too.

Just cuz I miss him, here's a lil pic, he's on the right!

Big Brother - 1 week to go!

Can you believe that we are finally coming to the end of Big Brother 2006! Yeah, it's heading into it's final week, the big eviction and the big winner is heading our way real soon. It's been a long series this year and it has somewhat lost it's appeal. Indeed, there have been so many changes that at times it's been hard to keep up with. All this 'Other House next door' business and voting people out, then them going back in and all that, it's just not Big Brother!


Still, my little buddy Pete still has a pretty good chance of scooping the £100k top prize, but also so to does the Welsh stringbean Glen! Richard is also in with a chance I suppose, plus Nic, the blonde moaner! In fact who knows - it could be any one of them, just depends on how many votes they get, well Ok, yeah that's obvious really. Indeed the real winners are..............Endemol and Channel 4 - just think of all those phone and text votes and all that dosh they are earning from each and every one!.


So who do you want as as The Big Brother king, or queen? I guess I want Pete to win, well come on, he's a mate and it's nice to see someone you know on TV and winning, plus he's a nice kid and I mean that straight from the heart.

I'm still kinda into Celeb Love Island, Callum Best is swaggering around like he owns the joint, the women seem to go for him and fall for his charms. He's nice eye candy, but I can not cope with that fake mid-atlantic accent he seems to adopt on TV. It just turns me right off, but hey, each to his own, that's what I say. Now is it me, or is little Lee Otway getting camper and camper as the days go on? I mean, he's looking well cute with his new shaved head and diamond ear studs and big sun glasses, but he's soooo camp, he'd make me look like a brick layer!!!

Ya know, I did kinda fancy him before this, indeed I have even commented about him on Sex & The Sea Front in the past, he's sweet and adorable and I just wanna get my arms round him, not for sexual pleasure, but to look after the little skinny youngster. Maybe I'm getting old, I mean before I'd see a pretty boy and wanna shag him senseless, now though, I just wanna give him a decent meal and look after him!

It's also just a week and 1 day before I head off toDominicann Republic and 14 days of hot sunny weather, clear light blue seas, golden soft sand, not forgetting all that food and drink. I am so looking forward to it, I need a break, I need to recharge, plus I need to well find myself a bit. Just recently I've kinda felt out of myself, it's hard to explain, but it's felt like I've just been going through the motions a little bit and not often being myself, with the odd exception - Pride day for one. So this holiday will be a good chance for me to get back to Me. God, I'm sounding like a bloody Melanie song, but you know what I mean.


I haven't seen David for ages, Jakey is not often around these days, Jo lives too far away, so I'm a little in need of a break and TLC, oh gooshness, I'll have to be careful here or I'll sound like a manic depressive and that would never do, cuz I'm not, I'm a happy little bunnykins (usually)

I hope the extra security controls at the airport will be a little relaxed but the time I head off, a week tomorrow. I mean, a 9 hour flight without a decent book to read, toothpaste to clean and refresh my mouth, plus all the bits and bobs one usually requires for a 9 hour stint in a presurised tube! Still, I guess there is still the duty free shops!!!

Congrats! Winner!

I've just finished the last of four nights on and I'm so bloody glad it's over! It's been pretty busy at work, what with all the problems and security alerts at the airports and I feel like I need a break!

Next week, I working during the day doing a training course, it's going to feel very strange going into the office during day light - going on and coming out on the same day! Then folks, lil ol' me is off on my holidays!

I'm heading off to the sunny Caribbean sun, I've got two weeks of pampering, eatting and drinking on an all inclusive vacation to the Domincan Republic. Oh I'm soooooo looking forward to being away and being in the sun. I'm on an 'all inclusive' break away, which will be so nice as all the drink, meals, flights, entertainment is included in the one price, so it's not going to break the bank! Don't worry, I'll fill you in on all the goss from overseas!

So, for those that are in the know, I've had a competition running for a few weeks here on Sex And The Sea Front. The prize was a gift voucher for 3 months worth of free DVD's from Screen Select. Well the entry deadline has no passed, the correct entries put in a hat (ok, it was actually a little wicker basket!) and one picked at random, by my pal Jake, so congratulations to Patrick from Cardiff who wins the voucher for emailing me the correct answer - 'Torch Song Trillogy!' Patrick, the voucher is on it's way to you just as soon as I get down the post office!

But, remember to keep coming back, because soon enough there will be another competition to win some other stonkingly good prizes!

Pride!

Brighton turned completely gay last weekend, the city was swarming with poofs of all shapes, sizes and colours. The street's were jam packed and a fun day was had by pretty much everyone!

I started the day off as I meant to go on, fixing up very strong drinks in plastic bottles of Pepsi & Malibu, Pepsi & JD and Pepsi, Malibu and strong strong strong vodka! Met up with Mo at Churchil Square and watched the Parade there, then we dashed off upwards and met David from work on London Road and watched the Parade again there while supping the strong drinks and beer!

After the parade we made our way up to the park and had a great time wandering around, checking out the market, the Wild Fruit tent, the Bear's enclousure, the BoyzToyz area and pretty much anything!!

After the park, we made our way to VaVoom near Revenge for more drinks. Met up with Angus and Jo & Carolyn and guess what? More drink flowed down my neck. I cant fill you in on much more, not because it's too rude, too explicit or top secret, I cant tell ya any more because I cant remember it! Nope, no sodding idea at all, the next thing I actually remember is waking up Sunday mornning at home with the mother of all hangovers!! So dont ask me what I did, who with, when or how I got home as the whole thing is a total mental blank!!

VaVoom Float!

Here are just some pic's from the day!

Bab's Windsor on THT float

It's David! Sober??

Mo has a thing about bikes!

Mo and I in the Wild Fruit tent!

Farewell TOTP's

Last week the BBC broadcast the last ever Top Of The Pop's! The music programme that, since 1964 has been a popular culture icon.


Back on New Years Day 1964, Top Of The Pop's first aired from a converted Manchester church and at last the youth had a music show to enjoy and be proud of. TV was in those days a wasteland of old stuffy boring programmes made for and by the oldies. Top Of The Pop's of the pops changed all that with a line up on the first show including The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Hollies and Dusty Springfield, the rest as they say is history!



Each week throughout the 1960's Top Of The Pop's or TOTP as I prefer to call it, showcased the best in the current music scene, the hot new sounds, the freshest songs from the cream of musical talent. Even when bands couldn't come into the studio, the BBC still played their tracks and on screen we saw Pan's People - a dance troupe of leggy girls doing their twirls and two steps and turning on half the nation!

During the 70's and 80's it played the songs climbing the charts every Thursday, with very little change. Ok, so the theme tune had a couple of revamps and the presenter DJ's changed, but on the whole it was pretty much the same as it always was, it became a tradition.


But, nothing stays the same forever, things change, MTV became more popular, dozens of other music channels were born, the charts changed, music was and is ever present in our lives. We no longer had to wait for Thursday's to come along for our weekly fix, we get it all the time, on demand, whenever and wherever we want.


The 90's saw TOTP move to Friday evenings and I guess it never really recaptured it's heyday charm and excitement. It was still good to watch every now and then, but it no longer had the importance it once held. Things kept on changing, the singles chart became less and less important, sales only became sales and airplay, the youth of today spend more time infront of the pc and on the internet than watching tv. TOTP basically became out of date, out of fashion, out of step and pretty much redundant.


So, farewell Top Of The Pop's, RIP, we remember you fondly!

Drinks. Birthday. Drinks. Pride. Holiday. Drinks!

Drink, I've had a fair bit of that over the passed few days! Started off with a bit of a bar hop session on Saturday with Angus. Started off with a couple of pints in VaVoom, the funky little video bar next to Revenge with the lovely barman! After that we trolled off up the street to R Bar - that's the bar with urinals shaped like mouths in a horible mixed toilet combo that always looks filthy. Next stop I think was Amsterdam, which has always been one of my favoured bars. After that it was Star Inn that enjoyed our company for a little while, then Angus decided to walk home and while I was up to my nipples in larger, I decided I still had to head off to VaVoom for a couple more!!

Needless to say Sunday morning I was as rough as sandpaper, my mouth felt like a cows arse, my stomach growled and churned like it was on a Waltzer and my head was as if a dozen Welsh miners were chipping away at my brain. However, a neat gin helped ease the pain and another one made it vanish!


Sunday was the first of four on and it was a bit of a crap night really, well ya know, 12 hours in that hell hole of an office and knowing you have another 3 more to go is a bit like mental torture or I suppose 'community service' only I dont remember being bad!

It was my Birthday on the 2nd of August as basically as soon as we could David and I headed off to VaVoom for a couple of jar's which was much needed, what wasn't needed was the drunk drongo that attached himself to us. Or the mail order bride that preoceeded to dance with everyone while under the influence of about 8 too many drinks. Still, it enabled David and I to do two things that we both enjoy, 1) pass judgement on others and 2) Oggle the bar staff!

When I got home at around 9.30 am, I had to have a very large rum and pineapple juice to settle me down and get all sleepyfor bedtime. It did seem like a bit of a waste of a birthday, epsecially as I had to go back into work for 8pm, but hey that's life I suppose. I'm now a year older and to be honest I'm feeling it big time! I feel my thirties are runing out fast and I have very little to show for my time on earth. I guess we all feel like that sometimes, especially around birthdays and getting olda and all that brings. Hey am sure it will pass without to much effort and procrastinating.

This Saturday here in the Gaytropolis that is Brighton it's gay pride, the annual celebration ones gayness and the one day in the calender where we can march, walk, hold hands, kiss and be ourselves in the city streets without fear of prejudice and persicution. In other words its a great excuse for a parade and a party in the park (preston that is) It's supposed to be the largest free gay festival in Europe and everyone and his dog usualy go. No doubt by the time I get to the park, I'll already have had more than a couple!

I dont think I'll be clubbing afterwards, it's al so expensive, clubs are charging between £15 and £25 entry and drinks prices are usually raised so I think it will be just drinks in one of the bars, or maybe on the beach! Lock up your son's the gays are in town!!

In under 19 days I'm off on holiday, I'm heading down the caribbean way to the sunny Island of Domincan Republic for 14 days of hot sun, sandy beaches, clear blue seas, sweet heady cocktails and lazy days. I'm so looking forward to it, just pure relaxation. I'm heading off with Mo, so I know I'll have some good company and we will no doubt have great time. It's an all inclusive holiday, so we have nothing to pay for when we get there apart from trips out and gifts and that sort of thing. All meals, all drink, all acctivities are included in the cost, so I'm sure more than a few cocktails will have to pass my lips before, during and after sunset!!!