Sore Arse - In the News!

Hey folks, I've got a sore arse again!


But before you think my luck has changed and I've been rogered silly by the local football team or met up with bunch of horny tourists looking for directions to heaven, let me just tell ya I've had a bike ride!!!

Mo and I set out yesterday just after 10am for a wee ride on the two wheeled motion mechanisms, we knew we were heading off to Angmering, for a pub lunch! Our further exploration of the south coast depended upon our feelings after liquid refreshment.

Well a bottle of merlot and a good noshing later we were back on two wheels and heading off to Littlehampton! It's just under 20 miles, well ok 19.6 to be correct, but hey it's a long way! We made the trip back in 1 hour and 40 mins which wasn't too bad, the weather was great. Have a little red face now, sun was beating down on us and it was great. However, I was using Mo's other bike and the saddle isn't to my liking, in short, I've got a saddle sore arse!

What's in the news then, well in Big Brother, they had a double eviction, Spiral and Michael were the ones, us viewers, didn't bother to save. Hey, I'm not surprised, they were both jerks if ya ask me! God, ya know this years Big Bro is really getting on my tits, it just seem to be going on forever and ever. The only saving grace for this prog is my lil buddy Pete 'wankers - all of ya wankers' is still in it and still has a chance of bagging the top prize! Good luck Pete!

Celeb Love Island the other reality prog on our screens just keeps on creeping along with very little ever happening apart from the Celebs getting even more of a tan! Little Lee Otway is still my fav, I just wanna pick up the camp little northerner, put him in my pocket and look after him!

I wish he was in my pocket!!!!

George Michael's been a naughty boy and been caught fumbling in the woods with a lorry driver from Brighton. George's boyfie Kenny 'bit of a looker' Goss has vowed to stand by his man, I'm sure it had nothing to do with £1 million gift from George! But, having seen photo's of the drongo that the former Wham! star chose to bam with in the woods makes you wonder if the singer is loosing his sight! I mean, would you? Would you really?

George's Pick up,Brightonn based Norm! Would you really????

Israel continues toignoress the rest of the world and carries on bombing The Lebanon in the hope of knocking off Hezbollah leaders and fighters, but onlysucceedss in killing innocent people. I'm shocked and verydisappointedd in the time it's taken our government, along with the US, tocondemnm the violence and try and work with the UN for a ceasefire! They say they care, but do they show it? Nope!!

Perfume makers at L'Oreal say their mixtures are no longer justconcoctss of fancy smells, oh no, they are now 'art'! Yeap, it's true I tell ya, they have been fighting in a Dutch court that one of their fragrances should be copyrighted as a work of art, and they won!

Boffin's at Leicester University have come up with a clever world map of happiness. They've taken things like wealth, health,educationn into account to make up the map. The darker the country, the happier thepopulouss is!

The Happy Map!

On Thursday, Hyatt Regency in Los Angeles began hosting the 2006 Barbie Doll Collectors convention! Now, far be it from me to passjudgmentt on others, but 90% of these toy doll collectors are over 21 and around 45 % are male! It's pretty strange if you ask me, grown ups playing with kids toys, it's a funny old world!

The height of luxury - down in South Beach, Miami at the Ritz Carlton they ensure youdon'tt burn in the sun too much. Nope, they have their very own 'tanning butler' I kid you not, it's fact, they have this guy - Michael Siciak, whose job it is is to patrol theswimmingg pool and private beach and apply sunscreen to hotel guest. Sporting a tight fitting pair of hot pants, Michael describes it "As the World's greatest job" And what are his credetials for such a position? His last job was serving in Iraq with the US Army!

Right, that is ya lot for today. I'm off for a bite to eat, shower and then head off into town to meet up with Angus! Should be a good giggle, I need a drinkie or three!

To be in with a chance of getting your hands on this fab voucher worth £25, just tell me which film do these lines come from?


"I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful.
It's my biggest problem because I've never been young and beautiful.
Oh, I've been beautiful, I've been young,
but never the twain have met!"

And

"With a voice and a face like this, I'm not worried.
I can always drive a cab.
You know, there are easier things in life than being a drag queen,
but I ain't got no choice.
See, um...Try as I may, I just can't walk in flats."


Oh, so you think you know? There are 2 ways to enter, leave a comment below or email me at SexAndTheSeaFront@yahoo.co.uk
Good luck boys and girls and James! Closing date 10.00am GMT on 10 August 2006.

Late night Lust!

It's the last night of four on and I'm pretty happy and buzzing, now I know buzzing at 4.30 am when you've not been out clubbing and playing is pretty strange, but hey it's how I feel. I guess it's because it last night, but It may have something to do with having been to the pub between 1 and 3am!

David and I popped down to VaVoom, which is this tiny little bar next to Revenge in Brighton which has one of these late licences. It's really nice having a bar to go into at our lunch time and have a civerlised pint. VaVoom is a nice little joint with video screens and a video jukebox and load music. Another reason we are kinda happy is there is this right tasty barman come manager at ZaZoom that has our pulse racing and out hearts a fluttering. He is about 24(ish) a bit straight lad looking with a wicked smile, sparkly eyes, horny face, he's kinda sweet and has the most amazing sexy lil arse! He certainly floats my boat!

David & I back in the office after our lunch time trip to VaVoom!

Another one that floats my boat at the moment is a funksome DJ on the local radio whose kept us in giggles and good company through the night. His name is James Clayton, on air between 1 am and 6am he's fun, takes requests, reads out messages and the like, and is an all round good egg. If you're up and about during the wee small hours, give him a blast passed ya lugholes! He's not bad looking either, has the perfect face for radio!!! (only kidding Jamesy!)

Dont forget the competition, I've had a few enteries already, keep them coming and a £25 voucher for 3 months of free DVD rentals from Screen Select could be yours!

To be in with a chance of getting your hands on this fab voucher worth £25, just tell me which film do these lines come from?


"I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful.
It's my biggest problem because I've never been young and beautiful.
Oh, I've been beautiful, I've been young,
but never the twain have met!"

And

"With a voice and a face like this, I'm not worried.
I can always drive a cab.
You know, there are easier things in life than being a drag queen,
but I ain't got no choice.
See, um...Try as I may, I just can't walk in flats."


Oh, so you think you know? There are 2 ways to enter, leave a comment below or email me at SexAndTheSeaFront@yahoo.co.uk
Good luck boys and girls and James! Closing date 10.00am GMT on 10 August 2006.

Commited to Singapore Slings

Had a really nice day on Friday, took a train from Portslade up to Earlswood in Surrey to visit my buddy Jo and her partner who are just back from a mega round the World trip!

We went to a pub called The Joshua Tree (very apt!) for a few pints as the weather was nice, warm, sunny and appealing. Jo and Carolin are a lovely couple and it was so nice to sit and chat with them outside on the green as the pints went smoothly down! It's always good seeing them, however, we do have to be careful, as when we get together, the drink flows freely and things sometimes tend to go wrong! A classic example of such wrongness is pictured below, where a candle tried to set fire to the widow!

Anyway, as I was saying their are just recently back from an incredible trip overseas, on their itinerary was Thailand, Singapore, Sydney, Ayers Rock, Alice Springs, Morton Island, Fiji, Las Vegas, Mexico and New York, which is by anyones standards a pretty major adventure!


One of the main reasons for their trip was to get commited (to each other - not to an asylum!) on Morton Island in lovely Morton Island. I loved looking at their photo's of the trip and their big day, which looked simply stunning. A pretty much deserted beach, complete with massive sand dunes, the clear blue sea gently kissing the sand and the near cloudless sky. It sure seemed like a heavenly day full of romance and beauty, I must admit to having watery eyes, well come on, I always cry at weddings!

A wedding in Paradise!

Well, the photo's were shown and enjoyed, their tales were told and the experienced shared and all the while, Jo kept on fixing Singapore Slings which ensured a great evening was had by all three of us. But, the unlike previous visits there were no misshaps, no problems, no disasters! Did I get drunk, well I was fine until the last Singapore Sling formulated by Carolin, which was so potent it pretty much blew me off my feet!

Fancy taking a trip around the world without ever leaving the comfort of your arm chair? How about starting in 'Cassablanca' then get 'Out of Africa' on 'Flight 93' to hang with 'The Gangs of New York' hear a few 'New York Stories' how you get out of the city is up to you, by 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles' maybe the next stop will be your 'Final Destination'

I could go on, but I'll save you form that torture! I'm living in a world of films at the moment, as you can probably tell and it's been a long while since I last had a competition here on Sex And The Sea Front, so I'm gonna change all that right now.

As a little 'Thank you' for you, my lovely net mates, readers and friends, one lucky person will win a superb gift voucher worth £25 to use at 'Screen Select' The new way to rent DVD's in the UK. On ScreenSelect you can select from over 55,000 titles, they get delivered to your door, you keep 'em as long as you want, then you just pop them back in the post for free. It's as simple as that, no hassle, no worries and plenty of choice!

So, if your the lucky winner, I'll send you a gift voucher entilttling you to 3 whole months of free DVD rentals, yeap thats up to 90 days of free movies!

To be in with a chance of getting your hands on this fab voucher worth £25, just tell me which film do these lines come from?

"I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful.

It's my biggest problem because I've never been young and beautiful.

Oh, I've been beautiful, I've been young,

but never the twain have met!"

And

"With a voice and a face like this, I'm not worried.

I can always drive a cab.

You know, there are easier things in life than being a drag queen,

but I ain't got no choice.

See, um...Try as I may, I just can't walk in flats."

Oh, so you think you know? There are 2 ways to enter, leave a comment below or email me at SexAndTheSeaFront@yahoo.co.uk

Good luck boys and girls and those inbetween, Closing date 10.00am GMT on 10 August 2006.

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Hey folks, just remember if you're heading for the big apple, New York New York, you couldn't do worse than head on over to my New York postcard for some hot tips on things to do and places to stay!New York Postcard

If New York isn't your fancy thing, then maybe Tornoto is ya bag, again get ya fill on advise of what to see, where to be and who to do by visiting my postcard from Toronto!

Wana know more about me? How I came to be me? Read the Josh Jordan coming out story!

Wana see what's going on on the beach rite now?
Webcams!

Competition time!!!

Fancy taking a trip around the world without ever leaving the comfort of your arm chair? How about starting in 'Cassablanca' then get 'Out of Africa' on 'Flight 93' to hang with 'The Gangs of New York' hear a few 'New York Stories' how you get out of the city is up to you, by 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles' maybe the next stop will be your 'Final Destination'

I could go on, but I'll save you form that torture! I'm living in a world of films at the moment, as you can probably tell and it's been a long while since I last had a competition here on Sex And The Sea Front, so I'm gonna change all that right now.

As a little 'Thank you' for you, my lovely net mates, readers and friends, one lucky person will win a superb gift voucher worth £25 to use at 'Screen Select' The new way to rent DVD's in the UK. On ScreenSelect you can select from over 55,000 titles, they get delivered to your door, you keep 'em as long as you want, then you just pop them back in the post for free. It's as simple as that, no hassle, no worries and plenty of choice!

So, if your the lucky winner, I'll send you a gift voucher entilttling you to 3 whole months of free DVD rentals, yeap thats up to 90 days of free movies!

To be in with a chance of getting your hands on this fab voucher worth £25, just tell me which film do these lines come from?

"I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful.

It's my biggest problem because I've never been young and beautiful.

Oh, I've been beautiful, I've been young,

but never the twain have met!"

And

"With a voice and a face like this, I'm not worried.

I can always drive a cab.

You know, there are easier things in life than being a drag queen,

but I ain't got no choice.

See, um...Try as I may, I just can't walk in flats."

Oh, so you think you know? There are 2 ways to enter, leave a comment below or email me at SexAndTheSeaFront@yahoo.co.uk

Good luck boys and girls and those inbetween, Closing date 10.00am GMT on 10 August 2006.

Oh don't forget to click on Brighton's pure groovy

REALBRIGHTON.COM and see if you're in the pic!

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"Sex & The Sea Front Rocks - I'm in love with Josh!"

Hey folks, just remember if you're heading for the big apple, New York New York, you couldn't do worse than head on over to my New York postcard for some hot tips on things to do and places to stay!New York Postcard

If New York isn't your fancy thing, then maybe Tornoto is ya bag, again get ya fill on advise of what to see, where to be and who to do by visiting my postcard from Toronto!

Wana know more about me? How I came to be me? Read the Josh Jordan coming out story!

Wana see what's going on on the beach rite now?
Webcams!

Sun Baking - Dead Cat's - Love Island -

Hey folks, here I am at work again. Night 2 of the 4 and I'm feeling a little jaded it must be said. Last nights was crap with a capital C, I was late leaving - 0830 and then guess what? I walked down the road, bike sadle in hand only to find some tosser of the first order had only gone and nicked my bike! Yea from the end of the road with the police station in it, an old dirty bike resplendid with buckled front wheel, broken left pedal and no sadle was swiped from the railings. Oh and yes it was chained up and securely locked - but why would anyone want such a death trap is beyond me!


I enjoyed my days off, the last couple of which were brillently hot and sunny, so of course I headed down to the beach and sunned myself for a few hours. And yes, before you ask, I was on the unofficial nudist beach and no, before you enquire, I didn't burn my arse again! I was mostly on my back, but despite what you may be thinking, knowning my history, I did not sunburn my cock, no, I remembered the sun block this time round!


Mo, by brothers next door neighbour and ex has gone on holiday to Spain with her kids and while she was away, I was supposed to look after Beavis (Named after yankee cartoon Beavis and Butt Head) her little cat for the last few days. But, Alas, the cat is no more! Poor little Beavis was struck by a motor vehicle and lost the remainer of his 9 lives. Oppps so Mo is going to return to find one squashed cat, not a good welcome home. Well ok, we're not that cruel, obviously Beavis has been burried in the back garden, and the news is going to broken by her blue eye'd goldern boy Richard.

Hey hey hey, Celebrity Love Island is back on our screens, not that I get much of a chance to see it! Last year it rocked and was compulsive viewing. I mean Z list celebs wearing next to nothing, relaxing and lazing in the sun in a villa of an exclusive hotel in the exotic Pacific! It's so funny seeing all those 'has beens' trying to vie for the limelight and be 'stars' again. Well, it's back again, hosted by that silly little prick Patrick Kielty, with yet more Z listers getting paid hadsomely for not doing anything even remotely worthwhile.

Here are the ahem 'celebs' girls first -
Alicia Douvall (Ex glmaour model)
Bianca Gascoigne (sister of footballer - Paul, so she's not famous at all then!)
Coleen Shannon (Ex glamour model and dj)
Kelle Bryan (Ex Eternal member)
Sophie Anderton (Ex glamour model)
Victoria Harvey (model and ermmm thats it!)

Here's the fella's
Chris Brosnan (Pierce Brosnan's son! famous? Me think's not!)
Shane Lynch (Ex Boyzone member - the talentless one with the tatoos)
Leo Ihenacho (He's apparently a singer!)
Brendan Cole (Ballroom dancer)
Lee Ottway (Mmm yeah!)

So little competition for you here, can you spot the celebrity from the above list.??? However, I cant complain too much, for there is one shinning gem in an otherwise dank cesspit of humanity, little Lee Ottway! He played the lovable fool Bombhead in Hollyoaks, wowed us on Soapstar Superstar and has one of the widest smiles in TV land. Yea, the little lad has got my vote, his cheeky smile, his blonde locks, his tiny waist, his sweet northern charm certainly has me all hot under the collar. I've blogged about him before, he's such a cutey, can be a little campy, but to be honest that just makes me like him even more! Dont get me wrong, I dont wanna shag him, I just pick him up, put him in my pocket, take him home to meet mother and generally look after the little waif like scrumy youngster. Oh, well, I suppose if he asked for a quick fumble under the covers for a game of hide the saussage, who am I to refuse? (yeah yeah !)

David's Blog. 101 Things about me!

I wanna share with you the wickedly good blog from my good pal and night working buddy David. He's kinda fresh to the blogging world, but he's taken to it like a duck to water or a tonic to a gin! Check it out - >David's Blog !!

One of the things doing the rounds at the moment is a chain email whereby you're meant to list 101 interesting things about yourself (or in my case just 101 things) and send it to all in your address book. So, just as my good matey boy David has done, I thought I'd do the same and add it onto my blog.

1) I was born (not hatched) in Redhill, Surrey, England.

2) I have green eyes. (Yes, two of them!)

3) I've only lived in 1 country but have travelled to 22 others.

4) My childhood pet was a white rabbit named 'Tinka'

5) The longest I've known someone is Jo, I met her when I was 4!

(we met when I pissed in her sandpit!)

6) I currently work nights.

7) I have a metal plate and 6 screws in my right leg.

8) I love reading whilst lazing in the sun.

9) I no longer eat meat.

10) I haven't done so for 16 years.

11) I'd rather go naked than wear fur.

12) I think I've only ever really been in love one.

13) I doubt I ever will again!

14) I know the risk, yet I still smoke.

15) I believe that sometimes dreams really do come true.

16) David always makes me smile and laugh.

17) Fake or real tan? Real!

18) For a while I made my living as a male escort.

(in other words a rent boy if you're polite, whore if you're not!)

19) I prefer to walk away from trouble.

20) In the words of Robbie Williams - I hope I die before I get old.

21) I only have 1 kidney that works.

22) My favorite colour is blue.

23) I've had sex in public.

24) I've joined the mile high club - (it wasnt worth it!)

25) I've taken illegal drugs - (sometimes they work!)

26) I love Sydney - (the city not the person!)

27) I've written 2 books, both unpublished (so far)

28) The first girl I kissed was Jo. (same Jo as No:5)

29) The first boy I kissed was Mark. (I can still remember it!)

30) The first girl I shagged is now my brothers wife.

31) I hate call centres - yet I work in one!

32) I love aircraft. (No I'm not a planespotter!)

33) I love flying in them more.

34) I love holidays.

35) I like reading. (I think I've said that before!)

36) I have posed naked. (professionally!)

37) I've been an entertainer.

38) It was low paid hard work but loads of fun.

39) I've been on a cruise. (Broke my leg on it!)

40) I've never owned a car.

41) I've never owned a house or flat.

42) I've been made redundant twice.

43) I've never been dismissed.

44) I love the film Dead Poets Society.

45) I've seen it at least 20 times.

46) I love 80's music.

47) I like to have a drink.

48) I sometimes feel I live on a stage.

49) I believe something better is to come.

50) I dont believe in god or religion.

51) I believe in free speach.

52) I hate prejudice and intollorence.

53) I often buy the 'Big Issue' but I never read it.

54) I want to live overseas.

55) I prefer coffee to tea.

56) My dream boy is a porno star! (more details in a later post!)

57) I've dated someone famous. (No, I'm not saying who!)

58) I like fame.

59) I hate fame.

60) I love snow.

61) But I hate the cold.

62) Mona Lisa's smile is a good movie. (Female version of Dead Poets!)

63) I prefer dog's to cat's.

64) Will Young is a good singer and a not bad actor.

65) I'd willingly shag him.

66) I didn't realsise that when I started this, it would take so long!

67) I enjoy clubbing, losing myself in the music and dance.

68) I hate recovering from a hangover.

69) I do believe you are either born gay or straight. (Bi's are just greedy)

70) I nearly died in a road traffic accident.

71) I believe in 'near death' experiences.

72) I believe in fate.

73) I believe in karma, what you give is what you get returned.

74) I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul.

75) I dont believe in war.

76) I love cycling.

77) I've never seen a lion in the wild.

78) I love the ocean, watching and hearing.

79) I like cooking for other people.

80) I believe you really dont know what you've got, until it's gone.

81) I believe we concentrate far too much on the material things in life.

82) I have a healthy respect for death.

83) I dont believe I will reach this age.

84) I believe the sun should never set upon an argument.

85) I believe in love at first sight.

86) I fear that I may never fulfill my destiny.

87) I hopeless at remembering birthdays.

88) I'd like to live on a houseboat.

89) I cant swim.

90) Music moves me greatly.

91) I often cry.

92) I like to sunbathe naked.

93) I dont like getting a sun burnt arse.

94) I have sung and danced on stage many times.

95) I am a shy person really.

96) I have very strage dreams.

97) When i was 20 I went out with a 54 year old.

98) I'm in my 30's but I still think I'm a teenager.

99) I get depressed watching the news on television.

100) I think I probably eat too much.

101) I love blogging! (Thanks David!)

There, that's 101 things about me!

Ok that's ya lot for today, it's been a long one! I just wanna tell you, that if you like me, want to know more about me, check out the link to my coming out story. Its basically the story of how I came to be well me really!!

Josh Jordan's Coming Out Story.




Saw this lil thing on David's Blogand I just thought it would be so cool to have a weatherfairy on my blog, so here he is! I'm going to call him.........Dafydd!

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Brother Big - will it ever end?

It’s just gone 3am on Saturday night/Sunday morning and I’ve just got back from lunch with Toby at V2 here in windy Brighton. Yeah, lunch at that time of the morning, just part of the beauty of working nights!


It was a fun little interlude of the working day or that should be night? Anyway it’s been a blast. V2 was ok, more crowded than I’ve ever seen the place, alas most of the bodies milling around were bar staff, both on and off duty. Plenty to ogle then!!

We’ve got Nyree’s video of Big Brother on at the moment as we are surprisingly fully staffed tonight. I really do think there are far too many people in it now. I mean for the passed six or so weeks we’ve been glued to the TV watching the housemates, getting to know them and in some cases falling in love with them. Then what did the tossers at Endemol go and do? Make up a brand new house next door and more strange housemates! Now there are far too many people in the house and all the ‘new’ fame seeking parrots think they own the joint and are upsetting the ‘old’ gang. It’s just turning into trailer trash train crash TV.

Is it me of does it seem like Big Brother has been going on for far far too long already? I mean, I love my mate Pete, whose still in and by all accounts still a pretty strong contended to win, but I’m getting a tad bored by the whole thing! My mind is addled by the changing dynamics of a group of self inflicted inmates that play on my voyeuristic desires.

Davina is getting big, pregnant I mean not fat, seems like she's been preggers for the past 3 or 4 Big Brother's! She's a game old girl, she was born to present Big Brother, it's her thing really. Her chat show wasnt much cop, bit loose on the content front, but she gave it a go. She always reminds me of the sister I never had. Well actually that's not quite true because I have a sister, but I guess you know what I mean. Mind you, I remember her from a very trashy late night programme about dating called 'Gods Gift' she was like a breathe of fresh air in late night tv when late night tv was a novelty! Ho hum. Things change!

Ask a question?

Hello and welcome to my corner of the interweb tinternet, it's always nice to have a load of your eyes and ears for a little while.

What do you think of global warming? Do you know the size of your carbon footprint? How much is a human life worth? How many whales are there left in the wild? If we produce more than enough food to feed the world, why dont we? The internet - world wide wonder or the devil in your own home? Is war ever justified?

Questions, questions, questions, pretty much every moment of our day is filled with questions, from the mundain to the complex serious issues of the day. But do we ever get the answers we want? There, another question, life is full of them, however now there is a place where questions can open dialog. Dropping Knowledge is a new site where you can ask your questions in an open format, to a world wide audience. dropping knowledge is a global initiative to turn apathy into activity. By hosting an open conversation on the most pressing issues of our times, we will foster a worldwide exchange of viewpoints, ideas and people-powered solutions. However knowledge is defined, by dropping it freely to others, we all gain wisdom. Dropping knowledge is collecting questions from the global public that challenge conventional thinking, inspire conversation and encourage further inquiry. For the Table of Free Voices event in Berlin on September 9, 2006, dropping knowledge will bring together 112 inspiring individuals to drop their knowledge at 100 of these questions; the answers will be filmed, generating some 600 hours of footage. The "ask yourself" campaign, Table of Free Voices and other dk activities exemplify the practice of asking and answering questions. Together, these activities pave the way for participation in the Living Library.

So do you wanna know more? Check out www.droppingknowledge,org

Oh, happy Independence day to all my American friends, yes Jerry and Joey, that includes you!!

Always good for a giggle 'The Wasted Blog'

Thats about it, that's ya lot for now. Take care of your good selves, more soon from Sex & The Sea Front!. As always, your comments ate most welcome, click the link at the bottom, send an email SexAndTheSeaFront@yahoo.co.uk or text 07914 107077

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